-> "If Gordon Lightfoot Sang 'Mary Had A Little Lamb'"
Original Song Title:
"Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" (MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"If Gordon Lightfoot Sang 'Mary Had A Little Lamb'"
On a warm sunny day, it was the last week of May
A young girl did awaken quite early
She went out to attend to her four-legged friend
It had fleece white as snow, soft and curly
With a skilled, gentle touch, Mary wielded her brush
Then she stroked on its ears and its belly
Of her lamb she was proud and Mary silently vowed
It would never be served with mint jelly
The hour was late, and ignoring the gate
Mary heeded her old man's reminder
And the neighbors all say as she ran to school that day
That the little lamb followed behind her
The bell had been rung and a song had been sung
As Mary arrived rather tardy
Then Miss Fiddle said, "Seems you lingered in bed.
But at least you showed up for the party"
For the last day of school, on a tray on a stool
Little cupcakes and pies of wild honey
But lessons came first, till a sudden outburst
Children laughing, what could be so funny?
As Mary sat down, beneath Miss Fiddle's frown
To her desk in the back row retreating
On the bare wooden floor, cloven hooves numbered four
And the squeak of the little lamb's bleating
Johnny J cried with glee, "C'est l'agneau de Marie"!
For at French he was rather proficient
John Barry said "Well. Guess today we won't spell"
"But of that we've had more than sufficient"
Seated there to his left, another poet quite deft
Named Michael Pacholek from Joisey
But if he said a word, seems that nobody heard
For the classroom was now rather noisy
Hu was the first to imagine the worst
That all classroom decorum was failing
While Susanna saw her chance as the little lamb pranced
To slip out the back door and go sailing
Rob, the history buff, quickly had enough
Of the havoc, commotion and racket
He knew every gun, and which air force won
And wore lambskin lined Luftwaffe jackets
Tommy had just reached the age when hormones rage
And boys dream of pleasures exotic
Mary's smile made his heart race at a furious pace
But he found the lamb also erotic
Off to his right, hunkered down out of sight
A farm lad, in denim appareled
He prayed anxiously, "Call on Lennie, not me"
That was shy little Eddie Fitzgerald
Everyone knows, that as little lambs go
Mary's pet was the peak of perfection
The lamb knew it too, the attention it drew
As it basked in the children's affection
Patrick thought it a shame there was no lamb the same
Its uniqueness a fact sad bemoaning
Researchers say we can make more any day
Through the process of DNA cloning
Hoping no one would tell, he crept out to the well
Naughty Leo, the kid from Nantucket
There he'd sneak him a snort from a clandestine quart
Of Jim Beam he had stashed in the bucket
Every cake on the plate the little lamb ate
Though that wasn't why Miss Fiddle brought 'em
And as you may believe, she wished she could leave
And not come back again until autumn
When she could take it no more, Miss F opened the door
And rang the school bell prematurely
Every child ran wild, through the doorway they filed
Starting their summer break early
Mark sang a song, Warren hummed along
Enjoying a life well worth livin'
And later that fall, at the county fair stall
The lamb would receive a blue ribbon
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|How Funny: ||5.0|
|Overall Rating: ||5.0|
|Total Votes: ||12|
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