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Song Parodies -> "If Gordon Lightfoot Sang 'Mary Had A Little Lamb'"

Original Song Title:

"Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"If Gordon Lightfoot Sang 'Mary Had A Little Lamb'"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

Inspired by Tommy Turtle's farewell to AIR and John Barry's spectacular good-bye. Personally I'm not ready to give up just yet. I believe Gordon Lightfoot adjusts his melody to fit the lyrics rather than following a strict pacing regimen. I also added a couple of extra verses, so consider this "in the style of" rather than an exacting rendition.
On a warm sunny day, it was the last week of May
A young girl did awaken quite early
She went out to attend to her four-legged friend
It had fleece white as snow, soft and curly
With a skilled, gentle touch, Mary wielded her brush
Then she stroked on its ears and its belly
Of her lamb she was proud and Mary silently vowed
It would never be served with mint jelly

The hour was late, and ignoring the gate
Mary heeded her old man's reminder
And the neighbors all say as she ran to school that day
That the little lamb followed behind her
The bell had been rung and a song had been sung
As Mary arrived rather tardy
Then Miss Fiddle said, "Seems you lingered in bed.
But at least you showed up for the party"

For the last day of school, on a tray on a stool
Little cupcakes and pies of wild honey
But lessons came first, till a sudden outburst
Children laughing, what could be so funny?
As Mary sat down, beneath Miss Fiddle's frown
To her desk in the back row retreating
On the bare wooden floor, cloven hooves numbered four
And the squeak of the little lamb's bleating

Johnny J cried with glee, "C'est l'agneau de Marie"!
For at French he was rather proficient
John Barry said "Well. Guess today we won't spell"
"But of that we've had more than sufficient"
Seated there to his left, another poet quite deft
Named Michael Pacholek from Joisey
But if he said a word, seems that nobody heard
For the classroom was now rather noisy

Hu was the first to imagine the worst
That all classroom decorum was failing
While Susanna saw her chance as the little lamb pranced
To slip out the back door and go sailing
Rob, the history buff, quickly had enough
Of the havoc, commotion and racket
He knew every gun, and which air force won
And wore lambskin lined Luftwaffe jackets

Tommy had just reached the age when hormones rage
And boys dream of pleasures exotic
Mary's smile made his heart race at a furious pace
But he found the lamb also erotic
Off to his right, hunkered down out of sight
A farm lad, in denim appareled
He prayed anxiously, "Call on Lennie, not me"
That was shy little Eddie Fitzgerald

Everyone knows, that as little lambs go
Mary's pet was the peak of perfection
The lamb knew it too, the attention it drew
As it basked in the children's affection
Patrick thought it a shame there was no lamb the same
Its uniqueness a fact sad bemoaning
Researchers say we can make more any day
Through the process of DNA cloning

Hoping no one would tell, he crept out to the well
Naughty Leo, the kid from Nantucket
There he'd sneak him a snort from a clandestine quart
Of Jim Beam he had stashed in the bucket
Every cake on the plate the little lamb ate
Though that wasn't why Miss Fiddle brought 'em
And as you may believe, she wished she could leave
And not come back again until autumn

When she could take it no more, Miss F opened the door
And rang the school bell prematurely
Every child ran wild, through the doorway they filed
Starting their summer break early
Mark sang a song, Warren hummed along
Enjoying a life well worth livin'
And later that fall, at the county fair stall
The lamb would receive a blue ribbon
If I missed anyone, I apologize. Hope you like this. Security code is G98. Rob will appreciate that.

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   11
 12
 12
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - July 15, 2013 - Report this comment
Patrick, even though you seldom rate my parodies (even the gun and NRA ones) I'll gladly give you a 555 based on your parody.
Lifeliver - July 15, 2013 - Report this comment
I really enjoyed this. Singalongable, gentle innocuous in-jokes that hurt no-one, and if I'm not mistaken, even I've been namechecked, a first for me. Kudos and 555s.
giorgio coniglio - July 15, 2013 - Report this comment
Agree with Ll. 5's.
Patrick - July 16, 2013 - Report this comment
Rob, thanks. You were a major inspiration for this one. LL, you caught your reference in the last stanza. Definitely had you in mind. Giorgio, first time here? Coniglio is Italian for "rabbit", is it not? Hope some of the "honorees" eventually find this.
Patrick - July 16, 2013 - Report this comment
How many references to AIR writers can you spot? Took me a couple minutes to figure out the coniglio reference.
Callmelennie - July 19, 2013 - Report this comment
I am honored to be sub-referenced in such a parody as this
John Jenkins - July 20, 2013 - Report this comment
Merci beaucoup, Patrick. I don't know if the reference to Johnny J is accurate, but you definitely nailed the reference to Tommy T!
Callmelennie - July 20, 2013 - Report this comment
I like the basic comic premise here -- take something simple and give it the overwrought, over the top Gordon Lightfoot treatment. Hmmm, wheels are turning in my brain ....
Patrick - July 21, 2013 - Report this comment
I have been hoping more of the folks I referenced will eventually find this. I've had the story in my mind for a long time. John Barry's retirement and Tommy Turtle's tribute to Fiddlegirl sort of speeded things up. At last second I changed "mother" to "old man" (Ribber). "Every child ran wild" (Jin). Lennie and Lifeliver caught their mentions. I know Tommy did, too. It was a fun parody to write. I try to picture the story as a music video.
Patrick - July 21, 2013 - Report this comment
I have been hoping more of the folks I referenced will eventually find this. I've had the story in my mind for a long time. John Barry's retirement and Tommy Turtle's tribute to Fiddlegirl sort of speeded things up. At last second I changed "mother" to "old man" (Ribber). "Every child ran wild" (Jin). Lennie and Lifeliver caught their mentions. I know Tommy did, too. It was a fun parody to write. I try to picture the story as a music video.
Lifeliver - July 21, 2013 - Report this comment
Quite apart from the author references, let's not forget some inspired rhyming and humor, a well-sustained narrative and some very sure-footed brushstrokes, to mix a metaphor. The 'little cupcakes' was another subtle touch. One of the best 'Wrecks' I've seen, and there are a few good ones. And I'm not just saying that because I'm in it, or (ahem) my version of 'Wreck' is coming soon to a parody site near you, lol.
Patrick - July 22, 2013 - Report this comment
I'll be watching for it.
Michael Pacholek - August 26, 2013 - Report this comment
Wow, I've missed a lot. Have there really been a lot of people leaving the site?
Patrick - August 26, 2013 - Report this comment
Tommy had been disgruntled for a long time. John Barry had a numerical goal, he achieved it by posting 98 parodies in one day. Then he was gone. Rob Arndt has received a lot of criticism so he stopped allowing comments. Coniglio is good, in the way the site used to be several years ago. Haven't seen Leough for a long time, he only writes when he has something really good. There are some days with nothing posted. I'm not writing as much as I once did. Hope things will improve. Glad you got to see your mention.
Max Power - September 02, 2013 - Report this comment
Quite an epic farewell tour by John Barry, I thought it was a glitch when I checked his page. Turns out he actually did it.
Leough - February 27, 2014 - Report this comment
"As tribute songs go, this was better than most
So I voted you fives for good reasons"

Sorry I missed this the first time around. Made me LOL! Thanks for the shout out!
Patrick - February 28, 2014 - Report this comment
This was a fun one to write. Tried to include everyone I could. Lifeliver caught the "little cupcakes" reference to someone who used to comment, though, as far as I know, she? never actually posted. I consider your "Search For The Man From Nantucket" as the best parody ever posted on AIR, hence my tribute here.
Susanna Viljanen - April 11, 2014 - Report this comment
Loved that one. There are ship's dogs and ship's dogs, but how about ship's lambs?
Patrick - April 11, 2014 - Report this comment
Noah had at least two.
Rob Arndt - April 11, 2014 - Report this comment
Patrick, I missed your last comment at the bottom but the Security Code joke made me laugh! We need to keep an eye out for others like K98, MP5, MP7,P08, P38, P88, G36, STG, MPK or MPL, etc... !!!

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