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Song Parodies -> "Wreck of the Concordia"

Original Song Title:

"Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"Wreck of the Concordia"

Parody Written by:

Richard Murphy

The Lyrics

For thousands of years men have sailed the great sea
Known to us as the Mediterranean.
And many a tale of the men who have sailed
Has come down to us through the millenium.
But the tale you shall hear of the Costa Concordia
Is one not of heroes but fools.
And the sea, a harsh mistress, holds malice for none,
But she strictly enforces her rules.

The ship was the pride of the Carnival line,
Not its biggest, but bigger than most.
Hauling four thousand two hundred guests and paid crew
Cruising the Tuscany coast.
As the passengers dined, or they danced or relaxed,
They surely had no way to Know
That soon they would pay for mistakes that were made
By captain Francesco Schettino.

Disregarding the rules, and ignoring the charts,
He ordered the ship to come ‘round,
On a course through known reefs and of shallow large rocks,
With the danger of running aground.
With his reckless behavior and tempting of fate,
No surprise hull hit rock with a smash.
The water poured in through the starboard side hole,
A one hundred sixty foot gash.

The captain and staff first denied any threat,
Proclaiming the ship safe from harm.
For more than an hour they stuck to that lie,
Instead urging all to stay calm.
The poorly trained crew did not know what to do
As the ship on its side settled down.
Passengers pushed them to launch the life boats,
There was no reason any should drown.

Does any one know where the ship's captain went
when the waves came to lap the top deck?
Did he stay at the helm til the last man was off,
And then salvage or sink with the wreck?
No, he called for more wine, and continued to dine
Til the listing became inconvenient,
Then he scurried up top to see how bad it got,
Noting sinking was not yet quite imminent.

As of this time the death toll stands at twelve
With twenty more yet to be found.
The ship sinks a little bit deeper each day
on the rocks where she first ran aground.
With the rescue complete, now the salvage begins
Finding bodies and pumping off oil.
Before it leaks out and spreads all 'long the shore
All of Tuscany's beaches to spoil.

In time the huge ship will be hauled off the rocks
And be cut up for scrap or rebuilt.
The action will shift to the courts to decide
Who pays what and who's saddled with guilt.
But the dollars extracted and sentences served
Represent only part of the cost.
Only time will determine the subtler price,
One that's measured in confidence lost.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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AFW - January 20, 2012 - Report this comment
You've not run aground with a timely topic...excellent job...reads very well
Michael Pacholek - January 20, 2012 - Report this comment
Too soon? Nope, from now on, we'll be thinking of Captain Coward, not Jessica Simpson, when we hear the words "Chicken of the Sea."
John Barry - January 20, 2012 - Report this comment
Unfortunately, it was the Costa Discordia.
Porfle Popnecker - January 20, 2012 - Report this comment
Good work.
Susanna Viljanen - January 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Really nice work. May there always be 555 m of water beneath your keel.

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