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Song Parodies -> "Ger' Fits Patrick And Pat' Fits Gerald"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck Of The Edmond Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"Ger' Fits Patrick And Pat' Fits Gerald"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

It's time I grew up! I'm now ready to attempt the amiright Big Seven. The plan is to do one each week for the next seven weeks. Knowing my talent for procrastination, I'll be lucky if I get it done in three years! Why take on this enormous task? In the foreword of his first book "The Dinosaur Heresies", the famous paleontologist Robert Bakker wrote that a colleague told him (Bakker) that he couldn't spend his whole life as an enfant terrible and should finally write a book! BTW - the ever-changing number of syllables in this song makes it more of a challenge that it first appears. ;D

A title like this - might be leading you amiss
For it's not about two Irish lovers.
This song's about clothes - not what you would suppose,
As the reader of this soon discovers.

Back in old Dublin town - the best outfitters around
Were a pair of magnificent tailors.
So you stupid blokes - stop with your dirty jokes,
For you won't hear the line "Hello Sailors!"

Each had specialty - and each labored tirelessly
As to each lofty challenge they faced up.
Patrick worked down below - the one place that he'd go,
And our Gerald just worked from the waist up.

The young Gerald Finn - always knew where to begin
When he started his fine fabric cuttin'.
His lovely silk shirts - could never give hurts,
'Cause he used pearl or bone for each button.

His form-fitting vest - was the absolute best,
Great effort to each he would de-vote.
And finest of all - whether for short or tall -
Was his unrivaled jacket or dress coat.

Elsewhere in town - Patrick Riley worked waist down,
And his fine belts no one could diminish.
He made better pants - then they made in France,
And each cuff had a marvelous finish.

Between shots of booze - he made elegant shoes
From the finest of imported leather.
For socks he had made - your dear grandma you'd trade,
For his wool was as light as a feather.

They tell it in rhyme - when they met for the first time,
Neither stooped to that childish competing.
For from the first view - both our clothing heroes knew
That the other each one was completing.

And so from that day - as the stories all say
In the voice of an angelic herald,
Above and below - they were now a du-o!
Gerald fits Patrick - Patrick fits Gerald!

Do people still go - to shops on Saville Row?
In the Paris boutiques are they chattin'?
Is there still a line - to go see Finkelstine
In his shop down in Lower Manhatten?

Most folks today - buy clothes at Tar-zhay*
And at Wal-Mart you'll always see many.
The folks up in years - will still prefer Sears
If and when they can't find J.C. Penny.

To save on the bill - folks shop at Goodwill.
All the thrift stores are packed - it's no mystery.
The small tailor shop - like the friendly Irish cop
Is now largely part of our history.

But observe if you will - folks of great skill
Will not die off or go out of being,
In making a suit - or a loud trombone toot
Or in finding songs for par-o-dy-ing.

My story now ends - of those two good Irish friends,
For their talents were quite double-barreled.
A dirty punch line - that I made to end fine,
Gerald fits Patrick - Patrick fits Gerald!

* = a mocking affected pronounciation for Target, attempting to make the discount store sound upscale. One down, six to go! ;D

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - September 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Dang! I misspelled Manhattan! ;D
Michael Pacholek - September 13, 2010 - Report this comment
It wouldn't be an official "Wreck" parody if I didn't at least comment. My first thought was that this would be a remake of Airfarcewon's prison story "The Sex of Edmund Fits Gerald." But you rhymed well and paced well, and as you pointed out this song doesn't make that easy. You also proved that there's no business like shoe business. And forget "Manhattan" and even "Finkelstein" (never seen it spelled the way you did), you also misspelled "JCPenney." (That's how the company spells it, with no periods or spaces, but you should have at least gotten the "Penney" part right, since that was the man's name. I only object because I worked there and was treated well there.) Welcome to the Wreckers Club, and, as usual, the first month's dues are free. But I expect your check promptly on October 1!
Old Man Ribber - September 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, Michael. JCPenney is a good company. Your check is! I'm pleased to know that you are not the bomber...I wonder if he ever reads anything before he damns it. Don't let the dunderheads get you down. ;D
AFW - September 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Congratulations, on having your first, "Wreck" ..interesting story, and very well done, too..may I add
Christie Marie M - September 13, 2010 - Report this comment
You really nailed the pacing on this one, Ribber! I'm looking forward to seeing more of your Big 7 based parodies as well! This would be #1 of "Ribber 'Mans/Masters the Big 7" parody collection! As AFW said, congrats on your first "Wreck" parody! Enjoyed it lots! And great name play on the title on "Patrick Fits Gerald" or vice versa. 555's! Interesting story in your satire!
John Barry - September 13, 2010 - Report this comment
A perfect fit--pacing, etc. Prête-à-parody.
Barry J. Mitchel - September 13, 2010 - Report this comment
I'd love to hear you "belt" this one out at your next gig! Very clever & no "waisted" words. 555

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