Song Parodies -> I Will Derive (The Equation Song)

Original Song Title:

"I Will Survive"

Original Performer:

Gloria Gaynor

  
Parody Song Title:

"I Will Derive (The Equation Song)"

Parody Written by:

Mitch O

The ever-popular equations. In truth I can't get enough of them, and I've had some like this:
First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept on thinking "I can't do this"
With x on each side
But I spent oh so many nights
Studying algebraic method
Learning the crud
I learned transfinite ord'nals
and so I'm back
from the college
I'm ready to solve you,
armed with infinite knowledge
Angular velocity
Mood full of animosity
And I know how to solve for a
Variant of three

So here I go, I'll subtract first
And here I go now,
After PEMDAS comes the worst
This was the problem that was too complex for me
But I can see
I hope the answer isn't phi
O, see I
I will derive
As long as I know algebra
I know math skills will thrive
I've got all the time I need
For this mathematic deed
and I'll derive
I will derive

It took all the smarts I had
Not to screw up bad
Solving for x proved to be
Tough and it made me sad
And I spent oh so many days
tryin to figure out that "x"
I used to whine
But now my knowledge makes me shine
And I see it
Some integer
But it's chained up in equations
Its value is a blur
But I will solve you on the spot
Using the knowledge that I gained
I will unleash math'mat'cal torrent
On the value that's retained

So here I go, I'll subtract first
And here I go now,
After PEMDAS comes the worst
This was the problem that was too complex for me
But I can see
I hope the answer isn't phi
O, see I
I will derive
As long as I know algebra
I know math skills will thrive
I've got all the time I need
For this mathematic deed
and I'll derive
I will derive



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Voting Results
Pacing: 3.4
 
How Funny: 4.0
 
Overall Rating: 3.8
 

Total Votes: 9
Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

 Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2
 
 2
 
 
 2   0
 
 0
 
 0
 
 
 3   2
 
 0
 
 1
 
 
 4   2
 
 1
 
 1
 
 
 5   3
 
 6
 
 5
 
 
User Comments Follow...

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Know 1 can hear you dream - July 15, 2004 - Report this comment
455, but remember, don´t drink and derive!
Johnny D - July 15, 2004 - Report this comment
I derived an inordinate amount of satisfaction from this parody.
Adagio - July 15, 2004 - Report this comment
=:o Somebody that likes math problems like I do? From some of the words, you are more advanced than I am. Loved it! 5's
neminem - July 15, 2004 - Report this comment
No, the amount of satisfaction I derived from this parody was definitely a finite number. In fact, I would say it's approximately integral(ln(x), 0, 6.13) ;-). On the other hand, for pacing I had to give you x, where x is the eigenvalue of the matrix [3,0;0,3]. And of course the total score is just the arithmetic mean of the other two ;-).

On that note, this would be a good place to advertise my own recent math-geek parody, I Love My TI, at http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/joanjett10.shtml
WhizkidF - July 15, 2004 - Report this comment
5 to the third power, Mitch O!
Bob O'Mara - July 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for making me think about college. I am a math major, and this parody just reminded me that my summer won't last forever. However, I laughed during this song. It was brilliantly laid out, and if I were to guess, you are some kind of Math or Engineer person. Anyways, bravo!
neminem - July 15, 2004 - Report this comment
By the way, what's PEMDAS? Never heard of it, and neither had mathworld.
Mitch O - July 15, 2004 - Report this comment
thanks i really liked doing this one. btw PEMDAS is: P=parentheses E=exponents M=multiplication D=division A=addition S=subtraction it is the order of operations. actually i am in 7th grade but math is my best subject... i'm learning calculus right now...
John Jenkins - July 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Clever parody, very well rhymed.
neminem - July 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah, right. Could've just said order of operations. Course, that leaves out where other random functions that aren't cool enough to get their own symbols, like trig, inverse trig, hyperbolic, logarithmic and so forth go ;-). But wow. If you're actually in 7th grade, and are actually learning calc at the moment, I hate you and your stupid school that lets you.

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I Will Survive album at Amazon.com

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