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Song Parodies -> "He Had the Whole Reich Under Command"

Original Song Title:

"He's Got the Whole World in His Hands"

Original Performer:

Glen Campbell

Parody Song Title:

"He Had the Whole Reich Under Command"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Himmler, not Hitler
He had the whole Reich under command
SS and Gestapo ruled the land
Everyday functions of the Fatherland
He had the whole Reich under command

After Valkyrie, he was the man
All secret weapons under SS plans
Speer was locked out and played no real hand
Armaments Minister was Hitler's man
Preparing for Gotterdammerung

He had the Jews and laborers under command
Digging deep bunkers upon demand
"Arbeit Macht Frei" in the death land
Holocaust was the Master Plan
And it ultimately killed 12 million

He had the whole Reich under command
He and his legion of supermen
Drighton Warlord was his fantasy plan
Took cyanide to cheat the hangman
Chicken farmer schemed until the end

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.4
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Patrick - May 22, 2014 - Report this comment
Heinrich Himmler seems somewhat similar to the fellow described in this song. Just looking into a photo you can tell this dude was no-good.
Rob Arndt - May 22, 2014 - Report this comment
Himmler's vision for Germany would have been an underground labyrinth of war facilities, slave labor, and cities immune to bombing. After Himmler there was SS General Kammler who disappeared in 1945 with the Bell Device in an unmarked Ju-390. There are persistent rumors that he surrendered the device to the US for immunity from prosecution. Others think he went to Argentina or Base 211.
Jonathan - May 22, 2014 - Report this comment
I'd give Nein's if I could but the voting system only goes up to 5
Rob Arndt - May 23, 2014 - Report this comment
Patrick, Himmler was obsessed with the Aryan ideal and was leader of the SS Black Sun religious order at his castle. He fancied himself a new order Drighton Warlord who actively had the Ahnenerbe search for passages into the Inner Earth in Tibet and Antarctica. SS weapons were off limits to Speer and the Ju-390 off limits to Hitler's pilot Baur. Himmler controlled police state Germany as well as all foreign Reich territories and secret facilities. That's why disc craft are never associated with the RLM nor the Luftwaffe. Second German A-Bomb project also SS. Bell Device was SS too! After Himmler was arrested, Kammler took over.
Rob Arndt - May 24, 2014 - Report this comment
Thanx Jon, but Nein is No in German. What you were looking for was Neun which is 9! Thanks anyway :)
Patrick H. Muldoon - May 24, 2014 - Report this comment
A minor addition to the specifics of Himmler's role, which Arndt glosses over in his comments:

Himmler's exclusive responsibility for security behind the immediate front line authorized the mobile killing units (Einsatzgruppen) and other SS and police units to initiate and direct the mass murder of Jews, Soviet officials, Roma (Gypsies), and people with disabilities living in institutions.

In his most quoted speech, that of October 4, 1943, in Poznan to a gathering of SS generals, Himmler explicitly justified the mass murder of the European Jews in the following words: “In front of you here, I want to refer explicitly to a very serious matter….I mean here…the annihilation of the Jewish people…. Most of you will know what it means when 100 corpses lie side by side, or 500 or 1,000…. This page of glory in our history has never been written and will never be written….We had the moral right, we were obligated to our people to kill this people which wanted to kill us.”

Die Glocke (German for "The Bell") is the name of a purported top secret Nazi scientific technological device. The only source for this is the books of Polish aerospace defence journalist and military historian Igor Witkowski, which claims it to be a secret weapon, or Wunderwaffe. The topic has been popularized by Nick Cook, Joseph P. Farrell and conspiracy theory websites, associating it with Nazi occultism and antigravity or free energy research. "The Bell" has become something of a legend among believers in perpetual motion machines, anti-gravity devices, reality shifting, reanimation, and time-space manipulation. Arndt writes about it as if it were an unquestionable reality.
Rob Arndt - May 24, 2014 - Report this comment
Gloss over Himmler's role? Hardly, as most everyone believes he was a secondary figure to Hitler in control of Germany and Reich territories. In fact, the SS was a state-within-a-state and Speer as Armaments Minister was locked out of all SS military programs and projects. I clearly mention the 12 million killed total of Jews. Roma, Slavs. the mentally ill, slave laborers, homosexuals, and other undesirables. As for weapons tech, the SS specialized in prefabrication methods, synthetic fuels, alternative energies, space warfare development, disc and other exotic craft, and was in charge of the second Uranium Bomb project as well as a range of unconventional bombs equivalent to the US A-Bomb in power These included: liquid air bomb, fuel-air explosives, radiological weapons, and Karl Novak"s proposed Molecular Bomb of super-density compression (Goering testified about this at the trials). Die Glocke was based in SS controlled areas and was powered by a power plant AND 2x submarine diesels on a rail line. It was bell-shaped and possessed angrav properties when tethered tests were run at the Hedge. It held the highest priority of the Reich for development and had mystical Sanskrit writing and other occult images on its base. It is believed to have utilized red mercury antimony in the Xerum 525 mix. The US now has gotten involved and has tried to claim that the device was a super high-speed X-Ray centrifuge for the second Uranium Bomb project. This is false as it was to accommodate a pilot in a larger version and had clear angrav properties. It disappeared with Kammler in April 1945. Many claim to Groom Lake. A similar device appeared mid-air over Kecksburg, Pa. postwar and was immediately recovered by military forces. A Configuration minus any type of conventional powerpack or control mechanisms. What for???
Rob Arndt - May 24, 2014 - Report this comment
Also, it took decades for the USAF and Government to admit to the disc craft and Foo Fighters (the former through FOIA documents and the latter under German Capabilities for 1945). The Peenemunde rail gun and Hansler electric guns in 15cm and 40mm respectively also took time to become known. The U-2 was derived from the DFS-228 and X-15 off the EMW A-6 design. Germans invented naval and aerial stealth, sonic weapons, endothermics, assault rifles, AT weapons, revolver cannon, nerve gases. Optical transceivers, panoramic radar, transcontinental communications system long before the internet, electromechanical computers, and many other new technologies that the Allies had no equivalents to. Die Glocke is just one thing. N-Material took decades to be recognized as CIF3 at Falkenhagen due to Soviet cover up. Please spare further embarrassment because I specialize in Third Reich everything.
Patrick H. Muldoon - May 24, 2014 - Report this comment
No credible satisfactory explanation of the Bell's purpose has ever emerged and indeed its very existence is still disputed. Facts would suggest however, that the Bell used a hitherto barely-mentioned alternate method to acquire fissile uranium for atomic weaponry. A photo-chemistry method was mentioned in secretly recorded conversations among Nazi scientists interned at Farm-Hall near Cambridge after the war. Of course, many Nazi scientists disappeared after WW2, presumably transported to the Past aboard the Bell, when its function was switched from the anti-gravity propulsion mode to Time Machine. Yes, Germany beat us to creating a Time Machine, too.

It is well known that the Nazis, and Hitler especially, were fascinated with the Occult, and the application of Occult devices in weapons engineering. It should be noted that Ancient Sanskrit texts from India have what are essentially instructions, including diagrams, for building craft that used a system similar to the one in the Nazi Bell; these craft are known as Vimana (Vimana is a general name for the craft; there are specific names for various types of craft used for different purposes). It is possible, if not likely, that the Nazi scientists consulted these texts in their work!! Now THAT is embarrassing.

Based upon certain external indications, Witkowski speculates that the ruins of a metal framework (“The Hedge”) may have once served as test rig for an experiment in “anti-gravity propulsion” generated with Die Glocke; others, however, dismiss the derelict structure as simply being a conventional industrial cooling tower. This explanation comes from Occam's Razor, which you should heed more often.
Rob Arndt - May 24, 2014 - Report this comment
Evasion noted on majority of Nazi tech and also never play games with me on aviation as I specialize in rare types from all of history. The US and German replicators of the Weisskoph aircraft of 1901 could not replicate the motor of that machine that powered the twin props up front as well as the powered gear! And that was for 10 hp each and simple gearing! I am well aware more than you of the occult foundation of the Nazi Party and especially the SS fascination that led to experiments with sonoluminesence, advanced medicine, medical lasers, chemically activated survival suits, Draeger space suits, cluster rockets, supermetals, X-Ray and microwave weapons, resurrection tech, etc... The Bell was an attempt to use red mercury antimony spun at 10s of thousands of rpm with other agents to create a strong torsion field to split space-time. It was to be a piloted device, so therefore the US trying to dismiss it as a nuclear program machine is ludicrous but at least proves they acknowledge it's existence. So you contradict yourself by claiming it is a theoretical when in fact it was experimental! Your sources are the ones that denied the Germans had disc craft for 50 years and then admitted them in 1995. Still classified by USAF until 2020 and Jonastal S.III until 2045 by AEC!!! Stealth, bunker-blisters, revolver cannon, wire guided AT weapons, IR systems. EO systems, and so much more are all German. 11 million documents stolen and OPs Paperclip and Lusty prove that Germany was far ahead of the Allies. You can play games with Google searches all day but I know this material by heart. The cooling tower was removed for the Hedge and fitted with inner ring hooks because the device was tethered! That meant it had angrav properties and why would an X-Ray centrifuge be outside rising in the air??? It was a flight machine as was the US Kecksburg thing that appeared out of nowhere in Pa.and was recovered by US Army. The US lied about the German atomic programs and Roswell has THREE official false histories. Please stick to parody commentary as you don't have the skill to match my knowledge of the TR at all nor it's weapon systems. Please provide whereabouts of Kammler and the Ju-390 that disappeared in 1945. He had all the files on the most secret of German weapons. Fact.
Yawn - May 24, 2014 - Report this comment
"Please stick to parody commentary": OK

He's got the whole his hands
He had the whole Reich...under command
One syllable too many

He's got the whole wide his hands
SS and Gestapo...ruled the land
Right amount of syllables but shouldn't it be 'Ges-TA-po' and not 'GES-TA-po'?

He's got the whole wide his hands
Everyday functions of the...Fatherland
One syllable too many (and that's assuming it's "Ev'ryday") but Glen's stress is 'in HIS hands' whereas yours is 'FA-ther-land'

He's got the whole world in his hands
He had the whole Reich under command
One syllable too many again

Now that you're not churning out a dozen a day, you should at least be able to make them fit the song. Come on, Rob, it's not V-2 science!
Patrick H. Muldoon - May 24, 2014 - Report this comment
The converted Ju-290 A-5 with civilian markings was flown from Prague to exile in Barcelona on 26 April 1945. It had a number of SS personnel aboard whom the Spanish have always refused to identify. Genug.
OMG - May 24, 2014 - Report this comment
... It's Yawn of the Royal Mounted Pacing Police!
Rob Arndt - May 25, 2014 - Report this comment
Reference to the old 110178 is a dead end as Kammler would have been in Thuringia and not Prague overseeing secret projects affiliated with the Skoda Works which included atomic aircraft designs, Mach 1 aircraft, and death rays. The Bell was moved 3 times back towards Germany and although there were Ju-290 and secret reserve Ju-390 at Prague, there was also one in reserve in Norway. Only 2 powers searched for the Bell and from NKVD records the Soviets didn't get it or Kammler! That leaves the US under OSS guidelines for capture. Kammler's four falsified deaths uncorroborated leave open a conspiracy to fake his death in order to offer the US high tech in exchange for not being prosecuted for war crimes in the deaths of 60,000 slave laborers for underground facilities. The Bell created a torsion field that bent dimensional space and time. The Hedge may have also mounted a large circular wave guide for Bell time displacement as asserted by other scientists. The fact is that both Kammler and the Bell disappeared together in the same area at the same time and that the US Army recovered a very similar device in Kecksburg, Pa postwar. I do not believe in those kinds of coincidences
Patrick H. Muldoon - May 25, 2014 - Report this comment
Of course, OSS. Paperclip would not take the risk of having Kammler in the U.S. Exchange of documents re anti-gravity propulsion, zero-point energy (originating from Heisenberg's uncertainty principle), and other peculiar 10-year physics projects that the Nazis threw tons of money at, for the guarantee of Kammler's safety and prosperity, was made at the American Consulate in Barcelona, with OSS agents, including Donovan himself, present. (OSS disbanded a month later; Donovan became special assistant to Telford Taylor in prosecuting post-Nuremberg trials.) Meanwhile, Kammler's name was redlined at the National Archive. He was redacted and free. He predeceased Franco by three days. Bell Aircraft, Boeing, etc., tried to replicate Deep Black, with the only result being the 1981 F-117 stealth fighter, an improvement over the Nazi HO-229. The Kecksburg device was a product of captured German scientists, and not the original, alleged Bell. I'm also the best parody writer on the block. No esoteric, pedantic, unsingable nonsense. Just accurate emulation of OS style, amounting to simple fun.
Patrick H. Muldoon - May 25, 2014 - Report this comment
Personal note: In 1965, I met Hans Kammler at The Jockey Club in Madrid. Brazenly, he identified himself to me. I also met George Hamilton and Zero Mostel, the latter being occupied with filming "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum." We were all staying at the Castellana Hilton (bad plumbing). When they asked me what I did, I had to explain super-conductivity. None of them had the slightest idea of what I was talking about. Technologically, Kammler was an idiot. He thought that in Franco Spain (and also under the influence of one too many riojas) he could tell me he was a proud Nazi. I tried to strangle him. I was arrested. Long story short, I have been kept out of sight in this lousy mental institution, forced to write at night on the one available computer. Literally, I live on AiR. But they give me my books. I am a 91-year-old vet, European theater.
Rob Arndt - May 25, 2014 - Report this comment
The F-117 was derived from Soviet Professor Ufimtsev's work declassified in the US in the '70s by the USAF. It is based on radar diffraction through use of geometric shapes. Nazis in 1945 with the Ho-IX that flew Feb 14, 1945 had a natural stealthy flying wing design filled with primitive RAM and were working on dielectric panels and radar-absorbing paint for it. It was the world's first stealth fighter and first jet flying wing. The B-2 is more akin to it than the Northrop historical line that produced postwar failed XB-35 and 49 mechanical duds that were unstable in flight. The Ho-IX V3 in US storage was digitally mapped by Northrop and used in the design of the B-2. And btw, for historical sake, it was a Windecker Eagle that first received experimental RAM in the US before the "Hopeless Diamond" design was ever contemplated at the Skunk Works. W Germany through MBB had the Lampyridae (Firefly) stealth interceptor at the same time but the US Govt. pressured the W German Govt. to drop it. By the 1990s in RSA at the Overberg test range, two small black German triangles with markings flew over. They have never been identified, but most aviation experts believe they are descendants of the Firefly tech. US Ironball anti-radar paint was also derived from German Shornsteinfeger Kriegsmarine carbon-loaded substance. U-boats used stealth Opanol and Tarnmatte for advanced U-boat types XXI and XXIII. Muldoon... as Bugs Bunny would say, "You're a maroon!"

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