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Song Parodies -> "Camelorum Cell Block Pastiche"

Original Song Title:

"Cell Block Tango"

Original Performer:

Fred Ebb

Parody Song Title:

"Camelorum Cell Block Pastiche"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Several songs in one! The following song was made for "Camelorum Adventures." Various ladies in Camelorum sing about how they got sent to jail. But instead of following the traditional structure of the original Cell Block Tango, they each take liberties altering the tune during their verses to a song of their preference, starting out with the tune of "Cell Block Tango" and ending, but switching it up in the middle. Various others attempt to chime in, but Barry (acting as Master of Ceremonies) shoos away the intruders.

Uh..lemme get back to you on that...

Ok, seriously?


The world will be mine!!!


Is my hair purple again?

For Science!!!

Rubber bananas!!!!

Get out, Rita! You're not part of this song!

Neither are you!

Union protest!!! SQEEEEAAALLL!!!

And now, these hand-picked ladies of Camelorum will do their own take on the Cell Block...wait, is it still the Tango, or...what do we call it now? A pastiche? Ah, I give up!

A most excellent strategy...or is it strategem? Oh bother!

ALL GIRLS (Cell Block Pastiche, Tune of Cell Block Tango)

How did this happen?
Us in this old den?

Would anybody comprehend?

Our fates are loony!
And zooey-toony!

Let's hope the world is on the mend!

(Instrumental segue)

CARLY ("Maddening Rod Rhapsody", to the tune of "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen)

I'm am just a poor gal, no memory of family!
Can't walk about, or I make flying cars!

(Somebody set me up /
With this strange affliction!)

Want answers so that they'll let me go!


Oh hell no!!!


I want home, but where do I go?


Who can know?


Please just let me go!


Oh hell no!!!

(Instrumental segue)

CANDACE ("Mr. Lime, Not Officer Sanders" a.k.a., "Lemon Witch's Lament," to the tune of "Istanbul Not Constantinople" by They Might Be Giants)

Xiboruty came, and powered me somehow!
Couldn't control it well that day!

(Jerk hole must've liked it that way!)

Mr. Lime was Officer Sanders!
Now he's Mr. Lime, not Officer Sanders!

And I do feel bad, where were my manners?
I really filled him with fright; it was a crazy sight!

That whole mall was nearly in tatters!
Some became June bugs! And I watched them scatter!

I couldn't change him back, to Officer Sanders!

Why did poor Roger Sanders get the works?
'Cause Xomians are a bunch of jerks!!!

(Instrumental segue)

GWEN ("Ferret Blast", to the tune of "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats)

You can laugh if you want to!
Leave the ferret's fate all behind!

Cause it's funny hindsight!
That C4 had might!

As I play it in my head's rewind!

It was not my idea!
But it happened just so that day!

And if it weren't for the dumb ferret blast;
They'd probably nailed me anyway!

Ferret blast! Ferret blast!
Now they'll need a brand new garage!

Ferret blast! Ferret blast!
Never lets me live down the paaaaaast...

(Instrumental segue)

ANITA ("Fail Hymn of the Anita", to the tune of "Battle Hymn of the Republic")

YA pytalsya nachat' gonku...


Wait! Are you really gonna sing the whole thing in Russian???


Nah! That was just to get your goat!

BARRY (rolling eyes)

Oh sheesh!


I LOVE this woman!!!


I tried to start the race but someone swapped out my pistol!
For a real one and a stunt airplane was flying way too low!

And it crashed into that building making pink cotton candy!
Laid off some employees!

The onlookers were horrified; the cops took me away!
I am still confused how any of it happened, but oh hey!

I've been quietly chilling in Camelorum, except we;
Keep fighting with Tobey! *

Epic! Epic Fail-a-luia!
Epic! Epic Fail-a-luia!


Epic! Epic Fail-a-luia!


My sanity's near-gone!!!

(Instrumental segue)

EMILY ("Hair Color", to the tune of "Down Under" by Men at Work)

I traveled with the Jens one evening!
But we drank too much, the car went crashing!

Then we hit that fountain, the statue went CRASH!
The ground opened, to a Xomian blast!
And just then...

I couldn't control my hair color!
I tried to run, t'was a blunder!

Cops found me in a bank no wonder!
Nowhere to hide, I was taken asunder!

(Instrumental segue)

ALL GIRLS (return to main theme tune)

How did this happen?
Us in this old den?

Would anybody comprehend?

Our fates are loony!
And really zooey!

Let's hope the world is on the mend!
* "Tobey" refers to Tobey the Toilet Monster, who keeps popping his tentacles out of toilets and trying to harass / eat everyone. The Cheshire and Worcestershire Pigs are recurring pests in Camelorum, though they are not actual inmates. How they come and go is not well-understood, nor is why either of them seems to be so attracted to that place. "Camelorum Adventures" and related characters are ™ Dozerfleet Comics and Prodigal-Gamer Literature.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 1.3
How Funny: 1.3
Overall Rating: 1.3

Total Votes: 26

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   24
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

? - February 11, 2016 - Report this comment
Still better than anything by M** P**** I guess.
BulldozerBegins - February 11, 2016 - Report this comment
@"Go back to DA" So it's a multi-parody. So it's not typically written the way that most of these are formatted. Fair enough. Nobody else was trying this format before. It was a fun exercise, only this one didn't work as well as the others. When you experiment, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I merely write down what doesn't work, and note what does work, and stick to that. There is no need for you to be making hateful remarks, or being cynical about my journals. Honestly, you only say that because you have nothing but hate for anything I do in the first place, but would be trampled under foot if you trash-talked something I submitted that everyone else enjoyed. So you lie in wait for an experiment to fail, and then you show your true colors. A pathetic coward. Make a positive contribution yourself, and tell me how I can improve. You are acting like a bratty 5th grader the way you are responding right now. I am frankly even less impressed with your attitude than you are with my song experiment. Print that.
Been Around - February 11, 2016 - Report this comment
Sorry BB, but this format has been done long before you ever came here as well as major mash-ups, so I find your remarks a bit disturbing. Try writing hundreds of parodies that are legit. Right now, you sound like a troll. Might I suggest that you return to where you came and do more art? It might make you feel better. I tried to reference your work and it is obscure, not very well defined online.
BulldozerBegins - February 11, 2016 - Report this comment
@"Go Back" PS: You are wasting air a lot worse. And you want me to score another hit like my "Drank Too Much Moonshine"? Challenge accepted. I'll dedicate the next song to you.
sk8tr dude - February 11, 2016 - Report this comment
So you been here all of a decade and have a mere thirty-three parodies, most of which are nothing special. Skuz, go return to your pathetic attempt at art. Work on your dialogue bubbles for your stupid characters. Btw, everyone hates this parody, not just one critic. And you being thin skinned when it comes to criticism doesn't help.
sk8tr dude - February 12, 2016 - Report this comment
@sk8tr dude: What you're doing is not "mere criticism." It's personal attack. It's telling someone to give up over one failure, and taking cheap shots at other things I've done that have worked. I'm not going to give up. Especially not on account of you. @Been Around: Disturbing how? Where? And that "troll" allegation is uncalled for. Aren't most artists here not that well-known? Everyone has to start somewhere. I appreciate you not being the hatemonger that sk8tr dude is, but you do come across as a snob. I'll hit the 100 mark at some point. And trust me, I do write a lot more than song parodies. Which is the reason I'm not at 100 songs yet. However, if the likes of sk8tr dude are going to come crawling out from under rocks to spew that kind of crap just because one thing I submit failed to be the gold nugget they wanted it to be, then I can take my work somewhere else. If and when something does work, it'll be this site's loss. The rest can go back to their toilet humor parodies and songs about Rubio. Go right ahead. I don't have to stoop to that. If that's the price of success here, then it just got too expensive.
BulldozerBegins - February 12, 2016 - Report this comment
How the heck did it identify me as sk8ter dude, just because I addressed him, it changes the username identifier to his? Can anyone fix that?
BulldozerBegins - February 12, 2016 - Report this comment
@Don't Let the Door Hit You... You guys are not experts on taste. You are not even the critics you make yourselves out to be. Professional criticism addresses what doesn't work about the specific work that was contributed. When you cross the line and attack the artist personally, make false statements and take cheap shots at other works besides the one in question, attack fans of the artist, and make the kinds of statements you make, you lose all credibility. You're not critics. You're f* wipes. And that's all you'll ever be. I do more than blogging. This is hopefully my last time addressing you guys. You're garbage.
To be clear - February 13, 2016 - Report this comment
^ babbling blockhead banished!
To be fair - February 14, 2016 - Report this comment
How was this Bulldozer dude babbling? He was accusing you of engaging in vicious repugnant personal attacks, which is exactly what you were doing

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