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Song Parodies -> "Are You Still Mad at Reed?"
Original Song Title:
"Are You Still Mad at Me?"
Original Performer:
Dana
Parody Song Title:
"Are You Still Mad at Reed?"
Parody Written by:
Edward Genereux
The Lyrics
In the third round of the 2021 Farmers Insurance Open on the PGA Tour, Patrick Reed landed his approach in the rough at the 10th hole at Torrey Pines. Although Reed claimed his ball had become embedded, video showed his ball had bounced once before settling. Making matters even more complicated, Reed picked up the ball before a rules official had arrived. This led to accusations of cheating across social media that were dismissed by rules officials. Despite this dismissal, Reed has a history of cheating allegations that go back to his university days at Georgia and Augusta State. Lately, despite my general tendency toward metal, I have fallen in love with the '70s canon of Irish pop singer Dana, who had a very pretty deep cut that is this parody's OS. Combine the two strands, and you have my 119th parody on the site, as well as what is technically now four Eurovision-winning artists and groups whose songs I have parodied.
Are you still mad at Reed
Because he got a free drop
For his ball in the rough
And put the par in the cup?
I still think he’s cool,
Although he bends the rules,
And I enjoy a-screaming “cheater!” (1)
Oh, he looks so debonaire
In green when at Augusta, (2)
Though we know it isn’t fair
When the ball does take a dustup
And rolls toward the rough patiently,
All while we’re thinking commonly:
Let’s kill Patrick Reed!
He picked the ball up from the grass,
Though his group mates (3) had never been quite asked.
If it was legal,
Why didn’t Reed just query them?
Faldo (4) couldn’t keep inside
The thoughts on all our noggins
As to why Patrick cried
His ball in the rough was boggin’. (5)
But he got the drop all for free
And made the par, no questions asked;
We’re all mad at Reed.
(Brief instrumental)
Oh, I still wish him well,
Though he’s going to hell
‘Cos Patrick Reed’s a dirty cheater.
I think back to the time
At an event down under
When all the crowds in rhymes
Would tear him all asunder. (6)
But Team USA won the week;
It left us hanging by a thread
And still mad at Reed.
We chant the truth with all our might,
All angry at Reed,
With only one thought on our minds:
We’re all still mad…at Reed!
Because he got a free drop
For his ball in the rough
And put the par in the cup?
I still think he’s cool,
Although he bends the rules,
And I enjoy a-screaming “cheater!” (1)
Oh, he looks so debonaire
In green when at Augusta, (2)
Though we know it isn’t fair
When the ball does take a dustup
And rolls toward the rough patiently,
All while we’re thinking commonly:
Let’s kill Patrick Reed!
He picked the ball up from the grass,
Though his group mates (3) had never been quite asked.
If it was legal,
Why didn’t Reed just query them?
Faldo (4) couldn’t keep inside
The thoughts on all our noggins
As to why Patrick cried
His ball in the rough was boggin’. (5)
But he got the drop all for free
And made the par, no questions asked;
We’re all mad at Reed.
(Brief instrumental)
Oh, I still wish him well,
Though he’s going to hell
‘Cos Patrick Reed’s a dirty cheater.
I think back to the time
At an event down under
When all the crowds in rhymes
Would tear him all asunder. (6)
But Team USA won the week;
It left us hanging by a thread
And still mad at Reed.
We chant the truth with all our might,
All angry at Reed,
With only one thought on our minds:
We’re all still mad…at Reed!
Footnotes: (1) 2020 Sentry Tournament of Champions playoff. (2) 2018 Masters. (3) Robby Shelton and Will Gordon. (4) Nick Faldo. (5) Becoming embedded in the rough.(6) 2019 Presidents Cup. Edition of OS used: 1975 BBC performance.
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