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Song Parodies -> "One Ex Lawyer"

Original Song Title:

"One Tin Soldier"

Original Performer:

Coven

Parody Song Title:

"One Ex Lawyer"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

The infamous Fred Phelps is a disbarred attorney. When he ran for governor of Kansas, many years ago, he was noted for showing up at campaign stops on a bicycle. This song is dedicated to the fellow who didn't understand my first song on this subject
Listen people to a warning
Heed the words I have to say
About a Preacher from Topeka
Who hates anyone who's gay
Hides behind a false religion
Jesus wouldn't recognize
Wrapped up in a queer obsession
Just a faggot in disguise?

Go ahead and hate your country
Go ahead and burn a flag
Desecrate a soldier's funeral
Call the Pope a flaming fag
The Day of Reckoning is coming
God will have His say
After preaching his last sermon
One ex-lawyer rides away

To the town of Tonganoxie
Preacher and his family came
To mock the death of one young soldier
At a high school football game
Came a valiant group of bikers
Met the Preacher at the gate
Revved the engines of their Harley's
Drowning out his words of hate

Go ahead and hate your country
Go ahead and burn a flag
Desecrate a soldier's funeral
Call the Pope a flaming fag
The Day of Reckoning is coming
God will have His say
After preaching one last sermon
One ex-lawyer rides away

One by one the legislatures
Sent a message to the Preach
Placing grieving families' sorrows
Far beyond this bigot's reach
Came the answer from the Preacher
With our buddies we will sue
He'd become the latest darling
Of the damned ACLU

Go ahead and hate your country
Go ahead and burn a flag
Desecrate a soldier's funeral
Call the Pope a flaming fag
The Day of Reckoning is coming
God will have His say
After preaching his last sermon
One ex-lawyer rides away

(repeat)

A graduate of Tonganoxie High School was killed in Iraq. The following season, a ceremony was held to honor him at a Friday football game. The Phelps clan showed up, but were drowned out by the roar of motorcycles. The bikers also tried to shield the soldier's young widow from the sight of the protestors.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - January 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Amen. And when that day comes, God will say, "Good morning, Mr. Phelps. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to go back to Earth and apologize to all those you've hurt. You have seven days. If you do not accept it, your chance at getting back here to heaven will self-destruct in five seconds."
Stan Hall - January 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Wonderfully said, gets ... er, straight to the point. I see these Topeka turkeys are now targeting the funeral of a straight actor who played a gay role. Sheesh.
Meriadoc - January 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Great statement. I knew about the Topeka guy and about the funeral disrupters, but didn't realize they were the same bunch. Good to know we don't have two separate groups of nuts running around.
LittleMercyCakes - January 29, 2008 - Report this comment
555 for the merciful God above!
Patrick - January 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Fred Phelps zip code starts with 666. Coincidence? I think not.

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