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Song Parodies -> "Toad's Cruel War"

Original Song Title:

"The Cruel War"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Toad's Cruel War"

Parody Written by:

David Kirschbaum (AKA Toad)

The Lyrics

Our Hero Toad (a virtual fighter pilot in the Warbirds flight sim) has begged for an Me163 Komet rocket fighter for years. In this song he begs the manager of the Warbirds publisher "HT" (HiTech) yet once more to implement the aircraft. Pleading, crying, threatening, bribing .. all to no avail.I'm told HT was quite impressed, never having starred in a song before :-) (No, he didn't implement the 163.) Very Warbirds-peculiar, full of the usual slang and technical stuff.
Toad's Cruel War

[plink][plink]
[Looks carefully around to be sure Lady Hawke isn't in earshot]

Ahem .. [ribbbbt]

The cruel war is raging, bombers rule the air,
I want to climb to them, but don't have a prayer,
I want to climb to them, a 109's too slow.
Won't you give me a Komet?
No, Toadie, No.

The model's perfected, the artwork's all been done,
Don't bother the others, please just give me one?
Don't bother the others, C-Stoff makes their flesh flow.
Won't you give me a Komet?
No, Toadie, No.

It's not much I'm asking, nobody else would mind
If my Komet at 35 Kay they should find.
I'd just be a minute, kill three or four and go.
Won't you give me a Komet?
No, Toadie, No.

They blow up on take-off, I swear that it's true.
With fuel so corrosive, I'll melt into goo.
With fuel so explosive, in pieces I would blow.
Won't you give me a Komet?
No, Toadie, No.

OH, HT, please HT, I fear you are unkind,
That blonde down in Dallas, I shouldn't remind,
That blonde down in Dallas, and you incognito,
Won't you give me a Komet?
No, Toadie, No.

No more Mister Nice Guy, my vengeance you'll dread!
Iraqi assassins hide under your bed.
Iraqi assassins, with carbombs you will blow,
Won't you give me a Komet?
No, Toadie, No.

Oh, HT, dear HT, I didn't mean a thing!
The Dallas Cheerleaders to your place I'll bring.
The Dallas Cheerleaders, all dancing to and fro..
Won't you give me a Komet?
No, Toadie, No.

I'll go on forever, verses without end,
And maybe start singing, all ears to offend!
For sure, I'll start singing! Or bagpipes I will blow.
Won't you give me a Komet?
No, Toadie, No.

There's no need for violence, won't ask you any more,
Please put down the shotgun, yes, I'll find the door.
Please put down the shotgun, I'm leaving now! .. Although ..
Won't you give me a Komet?
No, Toadie, No.

Hello? Toad is speaking. Why, HT, nice surprise!
The source code? You're kidding! No backup, I surmise.
The source code? No questions? All charges you'll supress?
Won't you give me a Komet?
Yes, Toadie, Yes.

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