"Pin-Tail Misfit "

(musical intro)

When I was a young boy
I played at pin-the-tail:
blindfolded and thrice spun, then
shoved off to wall-ward flail
with donkey’s derriere décor
run thru’ with tack or nail
in hand and hopes in heart held
to burro’s butt impale.

But I was not a natural
at aptly placing pin
and often left a paper trail
where no tail should have been
like when I’d beard burro’s chin
or–and thus cause a flap--
attach that @ss-appendage
like a sort of lap-lagnappe.

Not a pin-tail wizard,
I always seemed to miss.
A pin-tail misfit,
my misplacements caused crisis.

Now, do you think I’m kidding? (I don’t know!)
Butt staked when I could.

The wardens of the game laughed
when ’stead of near its back-
side I would place that dangler
so Jenny looked like Jack.
Tho’ never by intention
did I pin tail on wrong,
someone was sure to mention
“this game ain’t Donkey [D]ong!”

I thought I
would always be the king
of pinning on
the donkey’s ding-a-ling.

Grown up now, it’s my turn
to laugh at kids’ mistakes,
when instead of donkey tails
they pin on, wrongly, snakes.
I know it’s immature
but it’s to no avail
to keep a straight face watching
kids playing pin-the-tail.