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Song Parodies -> "Reds' Berlin Wall (20th Anniversary Of The Fall Of The Wall)"

Original Song Title:

"Red Rubber Ball"

Original Performer:

The Cyrkle

Parody Song Title:

"Reds' Berlin Wall (20th Anniversary Of The Fall Of The Wall)"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Inspired by a History Channel documentary that revealed a lot of little-known facts about this blot on the planet. Only learned on Monday evening, 11/9, that that day was the 20th anniversary of The Fall Of The Wall; else we would have had this posted for the occasion. [1]

Video of original 45-rpm OS here. Fun fact: OS co-written by Paul Simon (of "And Garfunkel").

East to West Zone: Too ma-ny, "Farewell"
JFK said "WTF? OK": East Berlin turned into Hell [2]
Millions go from Eastern Zone and harm economy [3]
Some were never heard from, e'er again; The Wall, a shame to see [4]

What a stink! Reds wanna seal it tight
Yet, the best come over. How?
By boring, running, flying over Barbed-Wire Wall [5]

Who ever cared ... to be locked up inside?
Escapees: an embarrassment; wounding Russian pride [6]
Many running; shooting, scary; gladly, life, they'd give
Tunnel, wing it; though a crime; risk all to freely, live [7]

Cut a link in fence, and flee from fright
West: You're "in the clover" now
But mourning: some, and pining: lost to Reds' Berlin Wall

Now Gorby's in the cast; regime about to fall [8]
More rights to Russians, give; GNP: speed up from crawl [9]
The Marxist-Lenin line they took was coming to an end
The talks: the ticket: lessen fears; with Reagan, made a friend [10]

In a wink, ol' Ronnie of the Right
Says, "Mikhail, come over now!
"Reform, you want? Show sign: good faith, and tear down this wall!" [11]

Oh. oh, oh
One blink: The Wall is out of sight
Once, accursed; it's over now
The Germans: one united nation; So-viets fall! [12]

[1] Actually, it was the date on which the Gate was opened, allowing unrestricted travel between East Berlin and West Berlin, but ecstatic Berliners on both sides immediately began chipping away at the Wall, with no opposition from the guards. The German military officially started demolishing what was left on June 13, 1990.

[2] The US knew of the plans to build the Wall, and a tank battalion was lined up, ready to knock it down as fast as it could be built, with Presidential authority. At one minute before midnight, when construction was scheduled to commence, then-President John F. Kennedy called and rescinded the order, allowing the Wall to be built.

On June 26, 1963, JFK visited the Wall that he had allowed to be built, giving his famous speech line, "Ich bin ein Berliner" (I am a Berliner). He was hailed as some kind of hero, presumably for making the trip. Hey, if he'd *truly* had any empathy for the Berliners, wouldn't he have stuck to the original plan?

Kennedy would later write a book, "Profiles In Courage". Whatever happened to his autobiography, "Profiles In Cowardice"?
(Note to Kennedy-worshipers: Don't worry; we understand that you don't let facts get in the way of your delusions.)

[3] When Berlin was partitioned among the Soviets (East) and the Allies (West), more than three million fled from East to West, especially the best and brightest. This caused serious problems for the economy of East Berlin, both a shortage of labor and a shortage of the best minds. Hence, the Wall. (People always work their hardest and do their best thinking in prison, right?)

[4] Guards had strict orders to shoot to kill on sight anyone attempting to escape. The "to kill" part was officially denied by East German officials, although being shot by a high-powered military weapon rarely tickles. There were 136 confirmed deaths, but since such incidents hardly reflected favorably on the Socialist Worker's Paradise, many are believed to have been covered up. Unofficial estimates exceed 200 casualties among escapees.

If an escapee was wounded in a crossing attempt and lay on the death strip, no matter how close they were to the Western wall, they could not be rescued for fear of triggering engaging fire from the East Berlin border guards. The guards often let fugitives bleed to death in the middle of this ground, as in the most notorious failed attempt, that of Peter Fechter (aged 18). He was shot and bled to death in full view of the Western media, on August 17, 1962. Fechter's death created negative publicity worldwide that led the leaders of East Berlin to place more restrictions on shooting in public places. Just shoot them at night, or in less visible areas, apparently.

[5] About 5,000 people escaped successfully. Each successful escape resulted in more fortifications: Higher and stronger reinforced concrete walls, barbed wire, guard dogs, electrified fences, and even land mines. (The mines were designed not to kill you, but to blow your foot off at the ankle. Nice touch.) As escape on foot became less practical, other methods evolved. Numerous tunnels were dug, often from the West side, and many escaped this way before the method was discovered. Others escaped through the sewer system before that, too, was sealed off.

At least one border guard escaped successfully by jumping the barbed-wire fence, before the additional death traps were set. West-siders would eagerly help anyone struggling over the barbed wire.

Those living in high-rises near the Wall sometimes just jumped. To end that, all buildings close to the Wall were demolished, and the width of the barren, sterile area continually increased. One escapee shot a cable from his high-rise apartment to another on the West. When it was securely anchored, he rode a pulley across, just like in all those phony Hollywood movies, except that this was the real thing.

One man removed the gasoline tank from his VW Beetle, put a one-gallon can in its place, drove in from the West, and smuggled his fiancé out where the gas tank would have been. Eventually, border guards learned to stick a long, flexible snake-stick into the filler opening to detect this.

Two families made a hot-air balloon, which crashed in a forest on the East side on the first attempt. However, they were able to flee back home before the balloon was discovered. They started on a second balloon, but this time had to be much more careful, buying the needed 10,000 square feet of fabric (about 930 square meters) in bits and pieces so as not to arouse suspicion. The second attempt succeeded.

A West Berliner taught himself to fly an ultra-light aircraft, flew into a park in East Berlin where his cousin was waiting by pre-arrangement, picked him up, and flew back. He had painted red stars (symbol of Soviet aircraft) on the wings and tail so that the guards would not dare to shoot without consulting a superior. Given the typical inefficiency of that regime, by the time the orders were received, the plane was safely in the West.

[6] As Alfred E. Neuman of Mad Magazine™ once asked, "If Communism is so great, why didn't they build a picture window instead of a wall?"

[7] Those who were caught trying to escape, and weren't killed in the process, were imprisoned as criminals. Of course, the Worker's Paradise would give no figures on how many were in jail for trying to flee Paradise.

[8] In March 1985, Mikhail Gorbachev became General Secretary of the Communist Party, and hence, de facto ruler of the Soviet Empire. He had previously met with Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau and British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, and understood from his travels in the West that only a loosening of Government dictatorship could revive the stagnant and struggling Soviet economy. This went even so far as greater freedom of speech and dissent, formerly prohibited in the U.S.S.R.

[9] "GNP" = Gross National Product, a measure of a country's economy. Gorbachev's reforms included private ownership of businesses in certain sectors for the first time since Lenin. As a result, the GNP of the formerly-stagnant USSR grew by 66% in five years.
Surprise! -- "Freedom works".

[10] On November 19, 1985, U.S. president Ronald Reagan and Soviet premier Mikhail Gorbachev met for the first time, in Geneva. On October 11, 1986, Gorbachev and Reagan met in Reykjavík, Iceland, to discuss reducing intermediate-range nuclear weapons in Europe. To the immense surprise of both men's advisers, the two agreed in principle to removing INF systems from Europe and to equal global limits of 100 INF missile warheads. They also essentially agreed in principle to eliminate all nuclear weapons in 10 years (by 1996), instead of by the year 2000 as in Gorbachev's original outline. Reagan and Gorbachev actually struck up a friendship. Gorbachev would later fly about 5,000 miles, or about 8,000 km, to attend Reagan's funeral on June 11, 2004.

[11] In a speech at the Brandenburg Gate commemorating the 750th anniversary of Berlin on June 12, 1987, Ronald Reagan challenged Mikhail Gorbachev to tear down The Wall as a symbol of increasing freedom in the Eastern Bloc:

"We welcome change and openness; for we believe that freedom and security go together, that the advance of human liberty can only strengthen the cause of world peace. There is one sign the Soviets can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and eastern Europe, if you seek liberalization, come here to this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

Former West German Chancellor Helmut Kohl said he would never forget standing near Reagan when he challenged Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall. "He was a stroke of luck for the world, especially for Europe", said Kohl.

[12] The reunification of East and West Germany was formally concluded on October 3, 1990. As the spirit of freedom spread throughout the Eastern Bloc, there were massive protests, demonstrations, and even declarations of secession from the USSR. By the end of 1991 -- two years after The Fall Of The Wall -- the Soviet Union had collapsed and died.

Sorry that this wasn't posted on the anniversary day.

"Alfred E. Neuman" and Mad Magazine ® E. C. Publications, Inc. All else © 2009 Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Pacing: 5.0
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Total Votes: 12

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Old Man Ribber - November 10, 2009 - Report this comment
If JFK had given his famous speech in Hamburg, it would have been "Ich bein eine Hamburger!" ;D
Susanna Viljanen - November 10, 2009 - Report this comment
I remember all that happening as if it had been last week. The actions of Premier Gorbachev saved us from WW3 - Brezhnev or Chernenko would have pressed the button.
Patrick - November 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Another history lesson from the professor of pacing. I'm going to have to go back and listen to the original so I can catch your phrasing. Twenty years ago an American could cross the bridge or tunnel into Canada simply because he wanted to. Now we have to buy an expensive permit (passport) in advance, just to cross a river we were once free to traverse. Who will dare Mr Obama to tear down that bureaucratic wall?
rob - November 10, 2009 - Report this comment
great work. and of corse, ronald reagan gets no mention in the liberal media land of lies. he won a war without a shot fired or a soldier spent. that is integrity. his words had power and they knew he meant it unlike clinton and muslum odumba. peace through superior fire power. hey, while were on it, how bout those 37000 more troops? oh wait, odumbas' gonna pull all the boys out right? he ran on that didnt he? you all voted for him for that right? step up and be counted. i didnt think so . . .
alvin - November 10, 2009 - Report this comment
wow you did your homework on this one
seweweno - November 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Reagan managed to call greatness and wisdom out of others, now that's a true hero. Where are they now? Thanks for making us think, even if for a moment.
AFW - November 10, 2009 - Report this comment
"Mister Chucky...Give this parody fives !!!"
Christie Marie M - November 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Yeah, "break on down to the other side!" Speaking of which, that would also make a great OS about the breaking of the Berlin Wall! So informative are your footnotes, especially on [3], [5], and [12]! Great trib to the Anniversary of the Wall Fall! 5's as always!
Tommy Turtle - November 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Old Man Ribber, a/k/a Alfred E,. Neuman: Marvel-ous comic trivialization of a major event in world history. ... Thanks for v/c ... I think. ;)

Susanna Villanen: Yes, you were much closer to the action than most of us. It is indeed fortunate for the world that the hard-liners in the Kremlin either were ousted or died off, and that a more open-minded leader arose, although the USSR was collapsing economically anyway, in the face of the attempt to match Reagan's military build-up and his clever negotiations with the Saudis to lower the price of oil, thus depriving the oil-rich USSR of a prime source of precious foreign currency. Thanks for the v/c from one with a closer geographic perspective.

Patrick: Probably the same person who will dare Mr. Obama and Congress to stop construction of a Ber-rito Wall between the US and Mexico. In other words, no one... which makes us not much better than the Soviets in regard to free border travel. Thanks for v/c.

rob: No argument there. The Cold War might still be going on today had it not been for Reagan -- a fact conveniently ignored -- and yes, I do remember O's campaign promises to bring home the troops from Iraq. Like you, I seem to have missed the part where he promised to send tens of thousands more troops to Afghanistan. Perhaps if he'd made *that* campaign promise: "Yes, We Can Start A New War And Expand It!" -- the election might have turned out differently? .. thanks for v/c.

alvin: enjoyed the documentary and the research. sad that these things aren't taught to schoolchildren today. it's a dirty, rotten job -- except for FG's companionship, of course -- but since no one else will do it, we shall. thanks for v/c.

seweweno: Where are they now, indeed? Reagan could turn enemies into friends, both at home and abroad. (He and Tip O'Neill, Dem majority leader, could have vitriolic political debates, then walk out arm in arm and have a drink together.) I don't see anyone anywhere doing that now. Thanks for v/c.

AFW: Good one! -- Especially since it was your plane that took Reagan to Berlin. ;-) Ms. Fiddlegirl, give this man thanks! :) (do *not* insert reference to "The Cheap Detective" here -- nor anything else ;)

Christie Marie M: Always nice to know when the fooTnoTes are appreciated (or even just not resented ;)! ... Good idea, although methinks we've pretty much covered it. Thanks for your v/c as always!
blackjack21 - November 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Excellent documentary in parody form, 555 footnotes for you to read. ;-)
Tommy Turtle - November 11, 2009 - Report this comment
blackjack21: Ah, yes, the old "invisible font" footnotes trick.... very clever, you are ;-D ... thanks for v/c!
Ann Hammond - November 11, 2009 - Report this comment
he he he he he
Pink Fleweyd - November 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Like, I'm depressed man... you guys' 'Wall' song was *soooo* much cooler than mine--guess your parody's just another schtick in my gall...
Tommy Turtle - November 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Pink Fleweyd: Well, that's what you get for being a Pinko! Communism is dead, Dude! Get over It!

(heh heh ... thanks for v/c!)
Mark Scotti - November 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Boy, the facts and rhymes just bounce off the two of you like a Red Rub.....well you get it...
Tommy Turtle - November 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: Nothing like being rubbed till yer red, eh? ;) ... I get it as often as possible heh heh. Thanks for v//c/s (setup lines)!
Shirley Temple - November 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Communism was, in theory, intended to be a regime of the people for the people. The working class surely didn't want to be oppressed by the wealthy, but what the Reds imposed was eons away from what they promised - purges, extrajudicial killings, censorship, atheism, anything that's less savoury than what their propaganda says. The Berlin Wall was a reminder of how greedy and corrupt some people became when they're given the opportunity to rule a nation. 555 for you my dear...
Lord AcTTon - November 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Shirley Temple: "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." ... something that should be remembered by us in the "free" nations.

Thanks for the v/c, on behalf of the "dears" (my co-author, who is, uh, "tied up", so to speak ;-) ... and who ever knew that little curly Shirley Temple was British?!

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