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Song Parodies -> "January (the 21st)"

Original Song Title:

"Yesterday"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"January (the 21st)"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

If Trump becomes President!
January, get rid of ACA in a day
Scrap Iran deal, put sanctions back in play
Oh, it's time for Trump's tough ways

Suddenly, a true return to democracy
America First, the way it should always be
In January, arrest B*tch Hillary!

Michelle's garden has to go, the lawn for show, no more green days
Health foods not fond, now Trump wants KFC!

January, Right-wing judge picks we do pray
Trump assures us- will be done that way
No more abortions nor married Gays!

They all have to go, you know, Obama's ways
Leftist wrongs, righted in 100 days!

January, no more liberal views that sway
Media bias will be done away
New start coming in January

Kicked out that bummmmmmmmm!!!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   1
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 3   1
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 4   1
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 5   21
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jonathan - November 03, 2016 - Report this comment
I'll drink to that! "raises glass of eggnog for a toast" 455
Huh? - November 04, 2016 - Report this comment
Is this a parody or a laundry list? You need to either give up writing or get yourself a very good tutor. Maybe if played in one's head to bagpipe music could improve it slightly. Not a fan on tis one.
Andrew Capps - November 05, 2016 - Report this comment
Question - Can anyone provide the name of the POTUS who has been blamed and nicked for everything? This name has been blamed countless times more than all the other president's names combined.

Going to let this question ride and hope it gets some answers. Be back with the answer in a day or two. So humour me and play along please. Comments on the site of late have been drab and this is a bit of an effort to get the conversion back to a wee bit of fun and of a lighter and more civil character.

Robert, your parody pulls no punches. To be fair it has some pacing issues but it slams some hotly contested issues flat to the southern border wall, that is when it is finally finished. I'm quite surprised that you have not gotten wanked on this given what seems to be a liberal author base on this site. It's seems to be true that the media is gone biased liberal. I avoid this bias and watch SKY News on the telly.

Be back soon with the answer.
Rob Arndt - November 06, 2016 - Report this comment
Off the top of my head I'd say Herbert Hoover...???
Rob Arndt - November 06, 2016 - Report this comment
Nixon forward would seem too easy!
Andrew Capps - November 06, 2016 - Report this comment
Rob, Thanks for your participation and humouring me. I won't leave you edgy on your input to the question, but I am not yet ready to spill the milk on it yet. A bit more mileage needs to have a go before I disclose the answer.

Please try again. Your answers are incorrect. Sorry, did not wish to leave you hanging. Thanks again.
Andrew Capps - November 06, 2016 - Report this comment
Krickey, I thought this question would bring about a bit of colour. No more takers than Rob?

Here you go now with a hint. This is a trick question. The answer lies within the question. Be back again tomorrow to see how this fairs, unless someone figures it out first.
Maxwell Smart - November 06, 2016 - Report this comment
Ford (the car)
Rob Arndt - November 06, 2016 - Report this comment
I thought it might be rhyming slang- blamed and nicked for Tricky Dick, so Nixon.. but you said incorrect!
Andrew Capps - November 06, 2016 - Report this comment
Sorry, it is not Gerald Ford, although he is the only POTUS that was never elected to the office by the people. Nixon's VP Spiro Agnew was caught up in a payola scandal when it was learned that while he was governor of Maryland and left office before Watergate took the tricky Dickster out. Agnew was taking kickbacks for Maryland Department of Transportation construction contracts he awarded to his contractor cronies some years before he was VP. Nixon then appointed Gerald Ford as VP who then ascended to the office when Nixon resigned. Ford was a congressman when he was appointed VP. And you know the rest. Ford pardoned Nixon before any charges were filed on him.

As stated the answer is in the question, but you need to think a ways out of the box for it. Read very carefully how the question is worded.
Donald J. Duck - November 06, 2016 - Report this comment
Washington (as in D.C.), which gets blamed for everything; the dollar bill is probably nicked (stolen) more than any other. I am assuming that your use of "president's" is an error, not a clue.
Andrew Capps - November 06, 2016 - Report this comment
OK, another hint. The POTUS with this name could flip a coin, call it in the air and not be incorrect if his call were to be 'tails or me'.
Brother, Can You Paradigm? - November 06, 2016 - Report this comment
Sure, but could he do it while floating on his back? That would leave Jefferson, Lincoln and FDR. And, to tell you the truth, who the hell cares?
Jeffrey Shay - November 06, 2016 - Report this comment
^ I agree, brother. This is lame by any standard. And the person may be ripping-off Andy Capp, right Andrew Capp? Give the answer now or be considered a troll.
Andrew Capps - November 06, 2016 - Report this comment


To you 'double' doubters. Andy Capp? Really? Guilty as charged. I'll give a point or two for that. You likely are not as dim as you may appear, but you still have no clue to the answer and I assure you that there is a legitimate answer to this.

Call me what you like, troll, flamer etc. Makes no difference to be. I am immune to any "cyber harrassment". This is lightweight to some of the stuff that I have been subjected to. I'm just bored and want a bit of fun so let's not spoil it by lashing out. You likely won't like the riddle's answer when I provide it. Remember my clues. You will see each clue as legitimate when I end this tomorrow with the punchline.

If the street lights are on where ever on the planet it is that you live, it is likely time for bed. I'm overdue for my nap. Tune in tomorrow and don't waste your time by trying to get a rise out of me. I'm doing what I like right now and there is nothing that you can post that I won't just laugh at.

Good morning, afternoon, day or night. Just use the time of day where you are that applies.
Andrew Capps - November 07, 2016 - Report this comment
So sorry and this is my bad. I missed the post by Donald J. Duck. I use a very old and slow computer for messing around online. I believe that Donald J. Duck was posting at the same time that I was and I missed reading it until now when I reread every post from top to bottom. The riddle is admittedly and borderline lame. And yes I did error with [president's] that should have read [presidents']. Good catch on my error and I am sorry for both of these oversights.

Donald J. Duck has successfully solved the riddle. Your explaination is spot on. The word "nicked" was a red herring. It was meant to look like UK English and not the English spoken across the pond. One cannot watch a newscast, it would seem, where Washington or 'inside the beltway' is not blamed for something. Right on the spot Mr. Donald J. Duck. You successfully thought out of the box.

Please accept my apology to those who answered the question after Donald J. Duck. Had I seen that post the riddle would have been over there and then.

Also I have little doubt that 'Brother, Can You Paradigm?' would also have solved it if I had not missed the Duck's comment. Paradigm was tracking this right by naming the coins with POTUS portraits on them. Just wondered why you did not list Kennedy's 50¢ piece.

OK, I'm done now and I apologise once again for missing that post that solved this. I was really playing this straight. Just miss the old crew that I used to swap comments with when I was still writing parody. Guess you really can't ever go back home. C-ya and thanks.
Better - November 07, 2016 - Report this comment
Q: What was George Washington's favorite tree?
A: Infantry!
Rob Arndt - November 07, 2016 - Report this comment
The coin comment kinda threw me off. Washington is more known for $1 bills. He was first on a coin, but you'd have to go back to 1900 with the Lafayette Dollar coin!!!
Andrew Capps - November 07, 2016 - Report this comment
Washington was first seen on the US 25¢ in 1932 for the 200th anniversary of his birth.

Lincoln was the first POTUS on a coin in 1909 (1¢). This was the 100th anniversary of his birth.
Rob Arndt - November 07, 2016 - Report this comment
Andrew, I meant first as President on a coin in 1900 ($1 coin). That beats 1909 and 1932. Sorry to nitpick, but it's true. It started as commemorative, but then were sold to coin collectors, and then released into public circulation as legal silver dollars. Over 50,000 were produced. The Lafayette Dollar Coin with Washington:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lafayette_dollar_obverse.jpg
Donald J. Duck - November 07, 2016 - Report this comment
Rob, the idea was to solve the damn riddle, not to swamp us with loosely related trivia to cover up your failure to think out of the box. That's your usual m. o. Pain in the ass!
Samuel Dean Beckford - November 07, 2016 - Report this comment
^ a guy who identifies himself with Donald Duck shouldn't be taken seriously IMO! I might add that he probably doesn't know that Washington's favorite dish was Colonial cream of peanut soup. He ate it everyday while in residence. Later, the South ate it in the Civil War years and Union troops got exposed to it. Go relax and have a bowl, big guy!!! If you ever visit Virginia, it's not hard to find.
Rob Arndt - November 07, 2016 - Report this comment
LMAO!!! Why? Because even I didn't know that! Gotta find a recipe now...
Andrew Capps - November 08, 2016 - Report this comment


Rob,

I must beg to differ with you on that 1900 Lafayette Dollar. According to the 2016 edition of the H. S. Yeoman guide book on US coins on page 287 this coin was as you stated a commemorative silver dollar that was sold by the US Mint for $2.00 per, to collectors. It was never a business strike. Yeoman lists the mintage of this coin to be 36,026. I doubt that people used this coin as a currency. Why would anyone make a $1.00 purchase with a coin they paid $2.00 for.

Morgan silver dollars were in wide use from 1878 to 1904 which were business strikes and were minted in Philadelphia, Denver, New Orleans, Carson City and San Francisco. When I stated that the Lincoln cent was the first coin to portrait a POTUS on it, I was speaking of business strike coinage.

The silver dollar of 1900 used for commerce was the Morgan Dollar. Technically the Lafayette dollar was the first coin with a POTUS portrayed on it, but the obverse of the coin not only depicted Washington's image but also the image of Lafayette. This Lafayette dollar has always been a collector's coin and not used as business strike currency.

So I was talking about the first business strike coin being the first to portray a POTUS in 1909. The Morgan dollars obverse has a depiction of Lady Liberty which was widely used up until the 20th century. The last coin minted that used Lady Liberty was the "Mercury" dime which was minted from 1916 to 1945.

So the Lafayette dollar was the first coin to use a US president. But the Lincoln 1909 cent was the first ever business strike to use not only a president but a real human being. The first presidents to appear on our money appeared on paper money and likely Washington and John Adams were the first to appear on the paper currency, I believe sometime around the mid 19th century.

It has been fun chatting with you. I think Andrew Capps is going to retire now from AIR.
Rob Arndt - November 08, 2016 - Report this comment
Mr. Capps, the Lafayette Silver Dollar was first issued as you stated in 1900 as commemorative for the Paris World Exposition and as gifts to the French. 50,000 were made and sold initially at $2 per coin. But there was a huge surplus left and the coins dropped to $1.10 for coin collectors by 1902. By 1903, the coins were often used as pocket showpieces and entered commerce. The were unofficially circulated but accepted at face value as a legitimate silver dollar. Most Lafayette coins surviving are not perfect but are worn from circulation. Ultimately, 14,000 never sold and were stored at the Mint until 1945 when they were melted down.
AC - November 08, 2016 - Report this comment


Rob,

H. S. Yeoman (red book) is the foremost authority for numismatics. Serious collectors consult this publication exclusively. From what I've read on the Layfayette dollar in red book, your information does not agree with HS Yeoman. May I ask what the source of your information is? I have yet to see where red book has ever been innaccurate. It is the bearer standard for coin shops and dealers.

I am sure that a small percentage of the Layfayette coins have gotten into circulation. I have found proof coins in circulation. These are know to numismatics as impaired proofs. These proofs usually get into circulation beause they were stolen due to burglaries or someone's kid took them to spend from another family member who was colleting them.

Best silver business strikes to collect are the Morgan dollars. As I stated these were minted from 1878 to 1904 in five diffrent mints through these years. In 1921 the Morgan dollar was once again minted and these are fairly rare. The Peace dollar began mintage later in 1921 and are plentiful. Peace dollars were minted until 1935. The reason that the Morgan dollars make the best investments is because they are in high demand and there were two panics to the economy during the years they were minted. In the mid 1890s a recession prompted the treasury to take over 200 million of these coins out of circulation which were melted down. Same thing happened in 1904 causing several hundred million more of these Morgans to be melted down. Red book shows the mintage of each Morgan by date and mint. The treasury did not document the dates and mints of the coins that were melted down, so no one knows how many of each there still are in existance. Market value for Morgans from 1878 to 1904 is dictated by demand. This is why this coin is the best for bullion or numismatic collection. No 90% silver dollars were reported to be melted down from 1921 to 1935. The next most popular silver business strike coins are Mercury dimes. I'd suggest that anyone who wants to invest in silver coins consider buying Morgan dollars and Mercury dimes.

Most people believe that the older a coin is the more valuable it is. This is not true. What determines a coin's value is first the demand for it, next is condition of the coin and last by its rarity. You can get ancient Roman coins for little to nothing. These are both old and rare but no demand. Of all the mints that produced coins the coins with the highest demand is Carson City. There are fewer coins with the 'CC" mint mark than any other mint. I have seen coins that were in identical condition of the same date, one of which may have been struck in San Francisco and the other in Carson City with the SF coin being of lower mintage but the CC coin pricing higher at sale.

Business strike US silver coins are 90% silver content. Silver business strike coins for general circulation were last minted in 1964 because silver had gone up in value and the silver in the coin was worth more than the face value of the coin.

Rob Arndt - November 08, 2016 - Report this comment
Dear AC, please do not misunderstand me. I agree in principle to everything you believe concerning official Lafayette Silver Coin history. But real histories tend to bring out real facts. There were actually 50,026 produced from the original order for 100,000. The price was $2 for the commemorative, but dropped to $1.10 within a few years. Coin collectors, many of whom were both noblemen and lesser types carried pieces around to showcase and sent them into business circulation anyway without approval. That is why most surviving coins are used and worn. This can be verified by coin collectors who own them and the proof is visible. I got my information initially from various online coin distributors and simple Google histories. I don't usually like to use Wiki but the dates, prices, and circumstances match. You had a discrepancy of 14,000 coins in your count. Those were the ones that were never sold and were stored until melted in 1945, another fact. Basically, they should not have gotten into circulation, but did anyway. That is truth, so it cannot be in error. I'm used to official histories being wrong. Many tech "Bibles" over time have been proven wrong as well. And there are things like denial of German disc craft and UCAVs of WW2 being acknowledge under FOIA after 50 years. Three "official" Roswell stories, all wrong. And so on. Anyway, there is plenty of physical proof of circulation from a wide range of coin collectors and distributors online and at least Wiki goes over the basics: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lafayette_dollar
Rob Arndt - November 08, 2016 - Report this comment
Over a period of time, approximately 36,000 Lafayette silver dollars were distributed. It is believed that some were released into circulation at face value, and without question numerous people who paid $2 each for them simply spent the coins once the novelty had faded. This accounts for the numerous pieces seen today in EF and AU. Probably, mixed bags of Morgan and other dollars contained Lafayettes up through the 1930s, when such coins continued to have little premium. By the 1950s, however, no Lafayette dollars remained. ~ PCGS (Precision Coin Grading Service)

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