Teddy K. was my name; Child of privilege, wealth, and fame
Failed academic became, and shored up with Jack again
In the summer of ’69, I was horny, drunk, havin’ a time
July 18th, left the hotel
But a crime? Don’t remember—not so well.

The night I drove, Kopechne drowned
So uncaring, seeming
Was tight, but drove- Kopechne down
Poor girl left alone, screaming
She went, “No, no, no….”

Back on the shore I couldn’t see just where Mary Jo might be
“Teddy, quickly flee!”: Don't care about her, just me
Life went on just like it should; had an inquest, but my money was good
I did what I had to, Pop did the rest
But it was Mama who handled the G*D* press

The night for which I'm now renowned
Station phone not ringing
That night, next day: my lies, expound
Poor Mary paid for my swinging
I thought, “Run, run, run…”

Like my father before me, I will scheme and plan
Just like my brothers above me, I claim “entitled clan”
Cute stenographer, Robert’s staff, thought I’d thank her just on his behalf
I still hear the words Pop said to me,
"Never raise a stain on us; you're a Kennedy!"

The night I drove and Mary drowned
Chapel bells were ringing
Her plight at cove swept underground
And all the choir was singing
They went, “La, la, la…”

That night, the truth I did confound
And not a witness singing
Her plight: in car, poor girl was bound
But the dollars were slinging
They went, “Ching, ka-ching, ka-ching…”