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Song Parodies -> "All These Soldiers Are For Sale"

Original Song Title:

"Ballad of the Green Berets"

Original Performer:

Staff Sgt. Barry Sadler

Parody Song Title:

"All These Soldiers Are For Sale"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

From the time of my first parody in 2007, I've recounted my adventures and mishaps in the cloning of soldiers to advance my dream of world conquest. Recently a small Fourth World country invited me to come straighten out their rather inept military. It proved to be an almost insurmountable challenge. Fortunately, I have a solution.
Falling soldiers from the sky
Fighting men who jump and die
Wore their helmets, wore their boots
But they forgot their parachutes

Chicken wings upon their chest
Two plus two? Can't pass the test
One hundred men enlist today
But only three will not run away

Trained to jump upon command
Six foot hole, the spot they land
Where they hit is where they'll stay
We'll mark it with a floral bouquet

Potted plants upon their grave
Tried my best, but I could not save
They sure had courage, they had style
And all the smarts of a Gomer Pyle

Back at base the generals wait
Their regiment, a gruesome fate
Screw-up left them all alone
Maybe now, they'll use my clones

Put test-tube soldiers in your ranks
Shooting your guns and driving your tanks
My custom troops will save the day
Satisfied, or you do not pay

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 4   1
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Overthrow Trump Now - October 21, 2020 - Report this comment
And the traitor Trump has made our soldiers in the middle East to be mercenaries for the worthless Saudi king. What a waste, man.
Patrick - November 09, 2020 - Report this comment
Change "screw up" for the more militarily correct "SNAFU". Before he leaves, Trump should order all the troops home. Would save Biden a lot of potential grief.
Patrick - January 23, 2021 - Report this comment
Looking at this on the day before the big playoff game, I rewrote the second stanza: Chicken wings upon their chest/Hot barbecue, they're Buffalo's best/One hundred fans we'll feed today/Leftovers we'll take away.

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