It's lonesome away from kindred and all
By the campfire at night when the wild dingos howl
But there's nothing so lonesome morbid or drear
Than pub karaoke when they've drunk too much beer

The publican Terry, he don't give a shit
As long as they're buying he'll put up with it
The old karaoke is getting a whack
It sounds like the yobbos are skinning a cat

Janie the barmaid just pockets the tips
She'll get three proposals by the end of her shift
She just keeps on smiling and pulling the beers
She's got wads of cotton wool stuffed in her ears

Angus from Glasgow has got it worked out
He heads to the loo every time it's his shout
And Bill's seeing double so he orders two more
Then quietly Bill slithers onto the floor

Sheila is out on the prowl for a guy
She'll never let a chance pass her by
Her face is rough as weathered old boot
But to drunken yobbos she looks a real beaut

The swaggie comes in really tonguing for beer
The poor thirsty codger can't believe what he hears
He listens a moment then backs out the door
He's not quite as thirsty as he thought before

The dog on the verandah for his master he waits
But the boss is inside singing loud with his mates
He hurries for cover and cringes with fear
With both of his paws clamped over his ears

It's lonesome away from kindred and all
By the campfire at night when the wild dingos howl
But there's nothing so lonesome morbid or drear
Than pub karaoke when they've drunk too much beer