Song Parodies -> Dangling Participles
| Original Song Title: | "Dangling Conversation" |
| Original Performer: | Simon & Garfunkel |
| Parody Song Title: | "Dangling Participles" |
| Parody Written by: | Mari Aranoff |
Yes, the misteaks are intentionally.
Sitting in the den this morning
The bright sun got in my eyes
And while making fresh banana bread
The dough began to rise.
List'ning to this dreadful poem
Cringing at the grammar
And ambiguity
The bad habits spread to me
Seeing dangling participles
Hearing split infinitives
Turns my brain into a sieve.
And it's clear what I have been thinking of.
These rules could be a myth.
And don't use a preposition now
To end a sentence with.
In a poem that's poor written
You'll use adjectives for adverbs
Gerunds with no bounds,
Impersonal pronouns...
Seeing dangling participles
Hearing split infinitives
Turns my brain into a sieve.
Yes, subordinated clauses
Are stuff we must avoid,
But some people say that grammar
Really makes them feel paranoid.
Like many subjects without objects,
You will search ad infinitum
But cannot find the rhyme
And it's just because it's missing.
And all the dangling participles
Make me stop and wonder why.
They really bother I.
The bright sun got in my eyes
And while making fresh banana bread
The dough began to rise.
List'ning to this dreadful poem
Cringing at the grammar
And ambiguity
The bad habits spread to me
Seeing dangling participles
Hearing split infinitives
Turns my brain into a sieve.
And it's clear what I have been thinking of.
These rules could be a myth.
And don't use a preposition now
To end a sentence with.
In a poem that's poor written
You'll use adjectives for adverbs
Gerunds with no bounds,
Impersonal pronouns...
Seeing dangling participles
Hearing split infinitives
Turns my brain into a sieve.
Yes, subordinated clauses
Are stuff we must avoid,
But some people say that grammar
Really makes them feel paranoid.
Like many subjects without objects,
You will search ad infinitum
But cannot find the rhyme
And it's just because it's missing.
And all the dangling participles
Make me stop and wonder why.
They really bother I.
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User Comments Follow...
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Mari - 6 munths ago I cud not speek Inglesh end now I are teeching it! 5-5-5
; D > Where do you live at.< That's my favorite!
Me hate this parody so much - here - have too many fives!
Um... I only actually saw two grammar problems...? Are there supposed to be more? By the way, being told to not split infinitives is just stupid. Is there anything nonidiomatic about that previous sentence? I didn't think so. Well, grammar parodies get fives anyway, even if they're wrong ;-).
Thank you Paul, Diva, Bizarro & Neminem! There are several more errors. Nem: Some experts think that split infinitives are perfectly acceptable.
Nay I say! Off with their heads, those irgrammatical baffoons! My pet grammar peeves: People who start every sentence with, "I mean...". or "What I'm trying to say is is that..." . A word coupling that always gets to me is, " I was speaking with a Jewish Rabbi..." (is there another kind?). Hep me, I'm starting to sound like Andy Rooney!
Very entertaining, Mari. I liked the "cannot find the rhyme" line. I think my biggest grammatical pet peeve is the use of "myself" when the user doesn't know whether to say "I" or "me." "Myself" is almost never correct, but many people use it so confidently.
How about this example: "If you go to the store and see any bananas." -- used as a complete sentence. I sometimes say "If I go to the store and see any bananas WHAT?"
Presumably, "if you go to the store and see any bananas..." implied "you know what I'm going to say, so I don't need to say it." English (and all other languages, for that matter) is full of constructions like that. It's not *formal* but it's still perfectly correct.
DKTOS, but loved the parody :-) I had a dangling participle once, but the doctor got rid of it ;-)
Neat stuff from Mari, I learned myself well in this here song you written. (When are you going to write again?)
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