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Song Parodies -> "Dangling Participles"

Original Song Title:

"Dangling Conversation"

Original Performer:

Simon & Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"Dangling Participles"

Parody Written by:

Mari Aranoff

The Lyrics

Yes, the misteaks are intentionally.
Sitting in the den this morning
The bright sun got in my eyes
And while making fresh banana bread
The dough began to rise.
List'ning to this dreadful poem
Cringing at the grammar
And ambiguity
The bad habits spread to me

Seeing dangling participles
Hearing split infinitives
Turns my brain into a sieve.

And it's clear what I have been thinking of.
These rules could be a myth.
And don't use a preposition now
To end a sentence with.
In a poem that's poor written
You'll use adjectives for adverbs
Gerunds with no bounds,
Impersonal pronouns...

Seeing dangling participles
Hearing split infinitives
Turns my brain into a sieve.

Yes, subordinated clauses
Are stuff we must avoid,
But some people say that grammar
Really makes them feel paranoid.
Like many subjects without objects,
You will search ad infinitum
But cannot find the rhyme
And it's just because it's missing.

And all the dangling participles
Make me stop and wonder why.
They really bother I.
There should be some new songs and other things by RAD & MAD, aka Rick & Mari Duncan, at

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Paul Robinson - March 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Mari - 6 munths ago I cud not speek Inglesh end now I are teeching it! 5-5-5
Diva - March 16, 2004 - Report this comment
; D > Where do you live at.< That's my favorite!
"Bizarro World" Johnny D - March 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Me hate this parody so much - here - have too many fives!
neminem - March 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Um... I only actually saw two grammar problems...? Are there supposed to be more? By the way, being told to not split infinitives is just stupid. Is there anything nonidiomatic about that previous sentence? I didn't think so. Well, grammar parodies get fives anyway, even if they're wrong ;-).
Mari D - March 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you Paul, Diva, Bizarro & Neminem! There are several more errors. Nem: Some experts think that split infinitives are perfectly acceptable.
David Chrenko - March 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Nay I say! Off with their heads, those irgrammatical baffoons! My pet grammar peeves: People who start every sentence with, "I mean...". or "What I'm trying to say is is that..." . A word coupling that always gets to me is, " I was speaking with a Jewish Rabbi..." (is there another kind?). Hep me, I'm starting to sound like Andy Rooney!
John Jenkins - March 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Very entertaining, Mari. I liked the "cannot find the rhyme" line. I think my biggest grammatical pet peeve is the use of "myself" when the user doesn't know whether to say "I" or "me." "Myself" is almost never correct, but many people use it so confidently.
Mari D - March 17, 2004 - Report this comment
How about this example: "If you go to the store and see any bananas." -- used as a complete sentence. I sometimes say "If I go to the store and see any bananas WHAT?"
neminem - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Presumably, "if you go to the store and see any bananas..." implied "you know what I'm going to say, so I don't need to say it." English (and all other languages, for that matter) is full of constructions like that. It's not *formal* but it's still perfectly correct.
Phil Alexander - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but loved the parody :-) I had a dangling participle once, but the doctor got rid of it ;-)
Agrimorfee - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Neat stuff from Mari, I learned myself well in this here song you written. (When are you going to write again?)

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