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Song Parodies -> "Afraid and Naked"

Original Song Title:

"Sounds of Silence"

Original Performer:

Simon & Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"Afraid and Naked"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

I've recently had the chance to binge watch one of the strangest "reality" shows of all time: "Naked and Afraid". A man and a woman are dropped naked into a jungle with no food or water and expected to survive for two or three weeks. Several participants have come close to death from freezing, burns, insect bites and the like. Still, people are lining up to take their chances. And, unlike CBS's "Survivor", there is no prize money offered.
Censors starkness doth offend
They pixilate parts women/men
Television standards keeping
Audiences eager for peeping
Compromise, a decision that explains
Tush remains
We watch "Afraid and Naked"

In nightly dreams I set the stage
An unclad woman half my age
Awkward glances when we first meet
Into the steaming jungle we retreat
When my foot is stabbed by the tip of a poisoned thorn
It's soft-core porn
We are afraid and naked

Saw on the jungle trail, I swore
Ten million fire ants, maybe more
Nights we huddle without sleeping
Days we're sweating without drinking
Eat it raw, a rattlesnake that we both share
Just grim and bare
We're still afraid and naked

"Fool", said I, "There is no prize".
Leeches crawling on my thighs
Mental stresses might defeat you
An alligator might eat you
While the sky in chilly raindrops fell
Cold as hell
Alone, afraid and naked

And the wind and water sprayed
The flimsy shelter that we made
And my body shivered its warning
That hypothermia was forming
"And the signs", say the medics "are telling us mortality's nigh.
You're about to die".
For ratings, on "Afraid and Naked"

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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paul robinson - September 27, 2018 - Report this comment
'Reality" ? Seriously? Wow! Just what type of nut-bar would voluntarily subject themselves to such conditions? Anyway, an excellent job, Patrick. Perfect pacing, wonderful word-subbing. 5's
Agrimorfee - September 27, 2018 - Report this comment
I like to think of it as "Survivor Extreme" . But, yeah, where's the money?!
Jonathan - September 27, 2018 - Report this comment
no money? no deal! sorry, nobody's getting this show for free! 5s
Patrick - September 27, 2018 - Report this comment
Last time I saw this show, they posted a lot of home video of people who wanted to be on it. Most participants lose about 20 pounds. One guy (Marine veteran) located the producers' tent and tried to steal food to save his partner who was so faint from hunger that she almost fell in the campfire. They were both booted off the show. But that's what a Marine does to help someone placed under his care. I think they let him back later on a so-called "redemption" show. Though why he wanted to go back, I don't know. Even so-called "primitive" people living in or around those places make shoes and clothing. I wonder how many of those who take part suffer long-term illness or injury.
paul robinson - September 28, 2018 - Report this comment
I caught about 2 minutes of this show last night, which was about 110 sseconds too much.

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