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Song Parodies -> "The Sounds of Sixty"

Original Song Title:

"The Sounds of Silence"

Original Performer:

Simon & Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"The Sounds of Sixty"

Parody Written by:

Don Milne

The Lyrics

Instead of singing the Happy Birthday song for the sixtieth time, sing The Sounds of Sixty whenever someone has a birthday in their sixties.
Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Another birthday softly creeping
Almost missed while I was sleeping
Of the brain cells that were planted in my brain
Few remain
Welcome the sound of sixty

In restless dreams I walk alone
Narrow halls of marblestone
Call of nature wakes me from sleep
So to the bathroom I must slowly creep
Where my eyes are stabbed by the flash of the bathroom light
That split the night
And felt the sound of sixty

And in the naked light I saw
Ten extra fat pounds, maybe more
Eyeballs squinting without seeing
My ears straining without hearing
And I’m rubbing salve on joints that hardly bend
When will it end?
Disturbing sounds of sixty

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Sixty like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the year of sixty

And the people sang with flair
To my birthday cake they shared
And candles flashed out their warning
Dripping wax that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the aged are written on hospital walls
And nursing home halls"
And whispered in the sounds of sixty

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Ann H - July 23, 2013 - Report this comment
the bathroom light would get me for sure. I'm a 30 year old cancer survivor that found this interesting and fun.
Patrick - July 23, 2013 - Report this comment
November 30, this year. Hope I still remember. Your version is more relevant to me than the original lyrics were when I wore a younger man's clothes. Which reminds me of the time that naked young guy was running after me yelling "Give me back my clothes". We old people like to ramble on about anything that pops into our minds. The pops seem to be getting fewer and quieter. But that is a sound of silence I don't want to think about for a while.
Ann H - July 23, 2013 - Report this comment
I left out that it was a brain tumor when I said cancer.
Lifeliver - July 23, 2013 - Report this comment
Yep, welcome to the club, Don. Nice subbing work here - looks like you still have a few brain cells to spare. May I recommend lots of cycling and walking - only three broken bones in five years but that's the trade off. Have the non-specific lower-back pains started yet?
@ Ann - looking forward to your own version 30 years from now.
Ann H - July 23, 2013 - Report this comment
@ lifeliver you sure you can wait that long? How about using this OS as soon as I come up with something because I don't think I've used it yet?
Lifeliver - July 24, 2013 - Report this comment
@ Ann - lol, sorry, I meant the theme, not the OS. Glad to hear you're a survivor. I'd like to come up with something for this great song too, before my big silence comes softly creeping ...
Ann H - July 24, 2013 - Report this comment
No problem, I was worried the Suspense might kill you if that's what you did mean. Got an idea, but may not be submitted right away because I'll be gone a day or two.

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