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Song Parodies -> "Wearing Only A Smile"

Original Song Title:

"The Ballad of Gilligan's Island"

Original Performer:

Sherwood Schwartz & George Wyle

Parody Song Title:

"Wearing Only A Smile"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

A couple days ago, a new contributor to this site posted his take on the alleged intimate antics of the castaways on Gilligan's Island. I wondered what I could do with this classic theme. And this is what I came up with. Note to young visitors: The Ballad of Gilligan's Island consists of an opening theme, played at the beginning of each episode, and a closing theme which ran during the final credits. I have arranged my version the same way.
If you're in the mood for a piece of tail
I recommend a trip
Aboard the S.S. Minnow
A swingin' party ship

The Mate is a mighty horny man
The Skipper's randy, too
They'll bugger every passenger
Before the voyage is through
(And bang each other, too)

The orgy started getting hot
The ship began to rock
And that's well before the S.S. Minnow
Had ever left the dock
(Ever left the dock)

The ship is moored along the beach
A palm-shade tropic isle
With willing men
And women, too
The millionaires swap their wives
And bimbos tryst with congressmen
Wearing only a smile


This is an ad for a weekend cruise
Come! Sail the seven seas
The S.S. Minnow is equipped
With all the luxuries
The First Mate and the Skipper, too
Both share a private hut
Professor brews Viagra
From roots and coconut

A disco light, an open bar
Not a swimsuit to be seen
Mary Ann is going down
Just like a submarine

So join us any week, my friend
You're traveling in style
Ginger greets the passengers
Wearing only a smile

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   2
 4   3
 5   3

User Comments

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blackjack21 - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Gives new meaning to the term "Pleasure Cruise." 555 submarines going down.
Old Man Ribber - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
With my luck, I would have ended up with Mrs. Howell. ;D
Tommy Turtle - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Great concept and funny lines, but lines 1,2,3,5,6,7, and 11 were off-pace ... didn't check the second half. A little more attention to nailing the pacing, and you'd have a sure winner here. 354.

TT's Guide to Perfect Parody Pacing would have nailed it for you. It'll only be at this location another month (Yahoo is closing down Geocities free hosting), then I'll try to move it somewhere else.
Christie Marie M - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
At least I died with a smile while reading this satire. Before my time, I used to watch reruns of Gilligan's on TV when it aired awhile back. Let me tell you this has got to be the randiest version of the OS but it's hilarious and enjoyable! I wouldn't mind being stuck on the island with Gilligan! LOL!! I echo blackjack's comment above! Here's 5 coconuts, 5 provisions, and 5 lifeboats to add to your castaway survival kit!
Fiddlegirl - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Ditto TT's comment about the pacing, although the 2nd 1/2 is much more solid. And the parody is an absolute riot! :D @ TT: You missed one of the best lines-- if not the best-- in the whole song! ;)
Patrick - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Tommy, I just took a look at your pacing site. Makes me wish I paid closer attention in high school English class when Mrs Steffens was discussing iambic pentameter. Your method is at least more understandable and practical. Sometimes I write these outbursts while trying to remember a song in my head, when I haven't heard it on radio or TV for 30 years. As long as a search through Google, I should be able to find your site if it is up, even if you change the address. Fiddlegirl, What line are you referring to? I normally try to avoid sexually or scatalogically oriented material. I'm a bit old fashioned that way. Politics is more my thing, when it comes to writing. But cat's version of Gilligan's Island sort of challenged me. The line about "if not for the courage of the fearless crew" in the original song was a lot faster than anything I could come up with on short notice. Sometimes I think I'd rather get the song posted than perfected. There are a few I would definitely correct when I put them all in a book for the amusement of family and record collector club members. This is number 49, and today's rant on President Obama makes 50. Sometimes I think I am coming to the end of the songs I know well enough to spoof. Maybe I should do like that fellow who likes "I Put A Spell On You" and just write three or four songs a day to the same tune. By then I should have the pacing down PAT!
Jonathan - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
good parody but I think... I'll pass on that cruise... 444
TT @ FG - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Dear, I didn't say that I didn't *read* the second half, just that I decided that that was enough pacing nits to make the point.
TT @ Patrick - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Patrick, I've taught many different subjects. in fields ranging from business to sports to academic and SAT prep, and others, and always tried to make the lessons understandable and practical. Thank you for the kind feedback, and please note that you're free to copy and print out the Guide, for personal, non-commercial use only. (If you start selling it, we split 50-50, OK?) :D
FG @ Patrick - September 19, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm a bit old-fashioned, too, as the Turtle can aTTest (haha... oh, Fiddlegirl...). But I LOLed at the line about Mary Ann! :D @ Studs Turtle: I gotcha... mea culpa. xo
adagio - September 20, 2009 - Report this comment
I had no trouble following the parody and the pacing was on, perhaps because I was paying attention to the giggle-fest here. :) Naturally it's as funny as all get out. Seems they did get out...of clothes. :)

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