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Song Parodies -> "Hillary E-mail Blues"

Original Song Title:

"Constipation Blues"

Original Performer:

Screaming Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Hillary E-mail Blues"

Parody Written by:

Onslaught

The Lyrics

It has just been reported that the outfit that was operating Hillary Clinton's private E-mail server kept it in their bathroom. It is somehow fitting that our new queen's missives should occupy a prominent place right next to the throne, scepter close to hand when the going gets tough.
Ladies and gentlemen, most people record songs about love,
Heartbreak, loneliness, being broke... Nobody's actually went out and
Recorded a song about real pain. The band and I have just returned
From the Iowa State fair where we caught a woman in the right position.
We name this song: "Hillary E-mail blues".

UMM-UMMMH, aeoh
(Mrs. Clinton?)
UMM-UOOMH
OOH!
(Um, Mrs. Clinton, are you…)
OH!
UH UH
Aaah
(Are, a-are you alright?)
UOH, aah
(About your emails)
Let it go! Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!
(Please, Mrs. Clinton, We’d like to get this matter taken care of)
I don't believe I can take much more
(Some of these E-mails seem to be of a rather sensitive nature)
Let it go
(There are over 300 E-mails containing classified information in them)
Aah
(Mrs. Clinton)
Got a pain down inside
(If we could have your attention for just a moment. This could impact your election chances negatively)
Won't be denied
(Well there was the 2008 race)
Yeah, every time I try
(Mrs. Clinton, please, your attention)
I can't be satisfied
(About your private E-mail server)
Let it go!
WOAH, UMMH
(Although you wiped out 30,000 E-mails there’s still quite a bit of classified material here, care to explain?)
Let it, let it go!
(Also there’s a rumor that this server was kept in a loft apartment bathroom, does that strike you as a secure location for such sensitive information?)
OH!
WAAAAOOOH!
(Mrs. Clinton, you’re looking a trifle flush.)
This pain down inside
(Perhaps if you could just relax, things will go more smoothly)
Just won't let me be satisfied
(I understand this is hard for you, with much discomfort. Quite frankly we’re all a little pooped. But we can’t finish until the paperwork is done.)
Let it go!

(OK Mrs. Clinton, it's clear we’ve gotten all we can out of you for now)
SPLASH!!! SPSHHH....
(I think we’ve done much to clear the air.)
Feel, ah, I-I feel alright
(Thank you for plunging into this so readily)
Yes ah, I'm beginning to feel alright
(John, can you escort Mrs. Clinton to the exit)
SPLASH!!! Shpsh...
Yeah
I tell ya, everything's gonna be alright
SPLASH!
Flush
(Somebody, get a janitor to wipe this stool)
Phew
Phew
Phew...
Feel alright
Oh, and I was as surprised as anyone here to learn that "Screaming" Jay Hawkins had more than one song.

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Pacing: 5.0
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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

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Callmelennie - August 19, 2015 - Report this comment
Yeah, and you should give "that other song" a try, as it has rarely been done here ;-D. Just kidding ... as you can see by the list under "Screaming Jay Hawkins" it been done 17 OTHER TIMES!! And then if you look under "Screamin' Jay Hawkins" you'll see that Rob Arndt and John Barry have added EVEN MORE!!
Rob Arndt - August 19, 2015 - Report this comment
CML, so what? JAB has done over 500 and I am at almost 700 leaving roughly 30+ others. Anyone can tell SjH had other songs simply because he had albums! I've done "Yellow Coat" 2-3 times as well! How many people have done hundreds off other individual songs, mostly the Beatles??? A lot. So no big deal...
Callmelennie - August 19, 2015 - Report this comment
Rob, wasn't trying to make any kind of critical point here. I dont 'effing care how many times two people do one song. In fact, I think it's utterly amazing that two people can do one song 100 times, let alone 1200 times ....... The only thing I was trying to do was highlight the somewhat anomalous disparity that one SJH song has about 1300 takes and all the other SJH songs put together have two. You dont find that 650 to 1 ratio with the Beatles, that's for certain. Thank God for that, because otherwise Amiright would have sucked in the rest of the Internet, like some kind of supermassive cyber black hole.
Rob Arndt - August 19, 2015 - Report this comment
NP CML, I have 180 Wiilie Nelson "On the Road Again" parodies. Sometimes people get annoyed and yet I was not the first nor will be the last to use it for any topic! Btw, 555 for this parody by Onslaught. CML, when are you go write about the ME again? It's getting scary!!!

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