(Really long intro)

**Frodo**
Will you go to Mordor with me, Sam
Destroy this evil Ring
As we throw it in the fire?

**Sam**
Please don't go, Mr. Frodo, not unless
I am your great companion
Now suspense is rising higher

Did Gandalf start the fire in the dark?
Did he say everything of the Loop?
Did you throw inferno on the Ring?

**Frodo**
All these runes, I did create 'em
But it took so long to make 'em
And I'll never see this evil Ring again
No, nooooooooooooooooo!

**Narrator**
"Return of the King: Chapter V"

Meriadoc's teamed with Theoden
And some other dudes
They hear noises, yes siree
But could it be the horsemen or some elves?
Some Wild Men finally came out of the trees

'Cause Merry heard the horses in the dark
And could hear their shiftings and their soft
Stamping on the needle-covered ground
And the host was in the pinewoods
Meriadoc was so sleepy
And he thought that he would never sleep again
Oh, nooooooooooooooooo!

[Long, boring break]

**Sam**
Mr. Frodo, yeah, and Sam Gamgee
Met up with Gollum
He is schizophrenic, seems to me
He thinks the Ring's his
He will keep calling it his Precious
I'll never trust that guy, he's looking suspicious
Does Gollum or Smeagol have two lives?
Mr. Frodo saw a spider
The size of Mount Doom

Poor Mr. Frodo, he nearly died, stupid Spider foe
He broke the Fellowship, then I cried, then he let me go
Way down to Mordor, he so desired
When he's unconcious, "Mr. Frodo, don't die"
That Gollum guy really freaks me out
Boy, does he ever creep me out
I will never let him
Steal this evil Ring

[long, funky break]

That Gollum jerk is frightening in the dark
Talking to himself, "...My Precious thing"
Mr. Gollum wants to steal the Ring
We will never let him take it
'Cause it takes so long to break it
And we'll never see that evil Ring again

No, nooooooooooooooooo-oooooooooooooo!
No, no-ooooooo
No, no
No no!!