Oh you blind-folded me
And then you said, "Here goes!"
I heard a motor shriek
And air begin to flow
At first I couldn't tell
But then I knew it well
"Cause, you own Flowbee
(oh, you own Flowbee)

You put it to my head
I scream in helpless fright
Down to my neck it slips
Sounds like a jet in flight
Oh, please not this again
I pray that it will end
"Cause you own Flowbee
(oh, you own Flowbee)

For you never knew the art of cutting hair
Barber shops cost too much for you
You let it fly, ignored my plaintive cries
Now Lance Link has a better do
(Lance good do)

You gave haircuts to me
You said to let you try
I was in shock for days
I thought that I would die
Oh, please just let it grow
I look a lot like Moe
'Cause you own Flowbee

(For you never knew the art of cutting hair)
(Barber shops cost too much for you)
The bigger guysat school all poked my eyes
And ran off, yelling woob, woob, woo-ooh
(woob, woob, wooh)

You gave that look to me
Last night when I stopped by
I said, "No, mom, no way!"
Besides, I'm forty-five
My hair left long ago
I'm bald as Curley Joe
"Cause you own Flowbee
(you own Flowbee, you own Flowbee)