-> "What is Most Antagon(izing to Me)"
Original Song Title:
"Puff the Magic Dragon" (MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"What is Most Antagon(izing to Me)"
People get antagonized frequently.
From girls with herpes they have kissed to boy friends who have fleas,
People lose their tempers over lots of stuff;
And, me, when my pet peeve occurs, I have to yell "Enough!"
What is most antagonizing to me
Are well intentioned laws they pass in Washington, D.C.
Little stacks of paper ascend to the sky
To comply with those laws they pass; will someone tell me why?
"We're really here to help you." Yes, that is what they say.
They're about as helpful as a snowstorm in L.A.
Noble legislators claim to be so smart
That, lacking their benevolence, our lives would fall apart.
Acronym Hell results from laws that they impel,
Like HHS and OSHA, whose staffs are OTL.
SNAFU is the MO of the EPA,
And, in the War on Drugs, the DEA was DOA.
Yes, my hopes are saggin' for sanity
To infiltrate the hallowed halls of Washington, D.C.
Party hacks and staffers don't know how to quit
Setting up big agencies that serve no benefit
Agencies live forever, they just cannot be killed
Even when their purposes have never been fulfilled.
Pompous politicians have a most peculiar quirk:
They like to throw tax dollars at programs that don't work.
I dread to see their new War – against Obesity,
Since these are the guys who couldn't beat Drugs or Poverty.
Will they outlaw Twinkies or require permits
To start my day with pizza pie instead of Alpha-Bits?
Yes, it's really agonizing to see
The interfering folks who serve in Washington, D.C.
Little stacks of paper appease those bureaucrats
Who will enjoy enforcing rules that outlaw being fat!
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