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Song Parodies -> "Who Out There Will Be My Dick Morris?"

Original Song Title:

"Who Will Buy This Wonderful Morning?"

Original Performer:

Oliver! (The Musical)

Parody Song Title:

"Who Out There Will Be My Dick Morris?"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

In 1994, after a decisive election defeat, President Clinton moved cleverly to the political center. Orchestrating these nimble gymnastics (and rescuing Clinton's fortunes) was his former advisor from earlier in his career...Dick Morris. Following the Morris strategy of "triangulation", Clinton recast his image and went on to enduring success. I write this parody as President Obama, wondering if he can find such a man - an advisor who can not only reconnect Obama with the public but also transcribe the message for the teleprompter. ;D

Who out there will be my Dick Morris?
Who'll step up and come rescue me?
It's just like Bill Clinton before us.
Who'll save me from the G.O.P.?

I got a drubbing from the nation
As any fool can plainly see,
So now I need triangulation.
Who'll make a centrist out of me?

Who will help me alter direction?
Who will pull my car from the ditch?
Who'll help me in the next election?
John Boehner is no clown.
He will not shut us down.
He's less a fool that Newt Gingrich!

(Back to the bridge)

I lack Bill's knack for changing image.
I cannot mask the way I feel.
If I'm to win in the next scrimmage
Then I must make some "change" for real.

Who will help to give me a remake?
What should I keep? What should I shelve?
I won't care if it's real or it's fake.
Who'll help me with my spin?
It's high time to begin
If I'm to win in Twenty-Twelve.

No, I don't buy that, in most cases, the results were due to President Obama not being liberal enough. But I do buy musical instruments and am looking for a good euphonium. ;D

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   2
 3   0
 4   2
 5   10

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Barry J. Mitchel - November 12, 2010 - Report this comment
I especially like the ditch/Gingrich and shelve/twelve couplets. And on Fox News we still have Dick Morris/before us! 555
Michael Pacholek - November 12, 2010 - Report this comment
President Obama doesn't need a Dick Morris. More importantly, unlike Bill Clinton, he knows he doesn't need a Dick Morris. But if he really wants one, he can get David Vitter, just re-elected Senator from Louisiana despite having been a patron of hookers, in spite of his "family values" hypocrisies. That's close enough to Dick Morris.
Old Man Ribber - November 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, guys. Michael - if he does get a Dick Morris, then he should be VERY careful not to give him the personal White House phone number. ;D
Mark Scotti - November 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Nice point made...Ribber! 555 warnings..
Peter Andersson - November 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Hard to judge the content slash staying informed from over here but it sounds to me on the news he's being punished for changing the "change we" in the planned "change we can believe in" period to a simple "change wee", period! (Holy crap, that was hard to come up with).
UnKnownVo - November 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Sir, your Dick Chorus . . . a la . . . . ? ?
AFW - November 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Clever use of that great old musical number
John Barry - November 12, 2010 - Report this comment
If Dick Morris were a woman (I'm actually not so sure he isn't) and her name were Ditz, you could apply John Warner's National Lampoon epithet about Liz Taylor, to whom Warner was married at the time: "Ditz is getting so fat that when I want to f**k her, I have to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot."
Old Man Ribber - November 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Err....thanks all. ;D
John Jenkins - November 12, 2010 - Report this comment
9 months ago, I commended you for being the first to use TOS on AmiRight. Now kudos for being the second. Great rhyming and great parody (except for the typo in the Gingrich line).
Matthias - November 13, 2010 - Report this comment
At first I thought this said Rick Moranis but that was just wishful thinking... Not bad but not what I was hoping for. I love Rick Moranis
P.Pete - November 13, 2010 - Report this comment
You certainly know your politics. I don't delve there much.
TJC - November 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Your Dick, like Philip, is *smokin'*!
Belle - November 15, 2010 - Report this comment
I don't know the song, but who needs it....the words come through loud and clear and clever. According to ones who know...pacing is good, so you get a 5, esp. for the cleverness!!

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