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Song Parodies -> "Can't Get Accustomed to His Pace"

Original Song Title:

"I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face"

Original Performer:

"My Fair Lady" score

Parody Song Title:

"Can't Get Accustomed to His Pace"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

I'm sure that I can speak for TT (although *my* comments will be much shorter! ;D ) when I say that new collaborations always take some degree of pulling and tugging to get "in sync". This is our story. The absolute, unvarnished truth.

Da*m! Da*m! Da*m! Da*m!

Can’t get accustomed to his pace
He’s picky as the day is long
Shreds all my brilliant lines to bits
With half-a-million nits
“Off here—you see?
Not hard, watch me!”

Ms. Fiddle’s pacing, pure disgrace
Should be on list of Deadly Sins
If she would only be more careful with her counts in every line,
Read my Guide To Perfect Pacing: Homework, I assign
But as it is, can’t overlook
Each rough, misguided choice
She *must* learn how to pace!


FG: “Write with Turtle!” What an infantile idea. What an impulsive, naïve, foolish thing to do. I’ll regret it; I’ll regret it! I’m doomed to have each lyric disavowed!


I can see me now, Mrs. Fiddle Writing-Hood
Typing on my little keyboard, fingers sore.
I can see me now, with pneumonia taken ill,
Mind fatigued, but still the Turtle, stern: “Once more!”
I’ll try to write the way he wishes
And end up writing jingles instead.
Wishing I were with the fishes
While Professor floods my lyrics with red!

In a year or so, when her fans have gone away.
And the Five-ings that she seeks have turned to squawks
She'll come back, bow low, and be begging on her knees
For the erudtion of the Turtle Talks
Poor Ms. Fiddle. Back then, so spiteful!
Now, ingratiating! And invite-ful!

How gratifying: she, in massive emails day and night
As she clamors, "Teach me more, to write your way"
Pitiable that only with me can she write right
Will I take her back, or let her drown in Ones?
Give her lessons or a spanking for her nerve?
Will I share with her my most impressive clout?

But I'm a Turtle, ever kind
Although a sheep, I would; never could
Stop exposition, or even hold a grudge
With all, I share my mind
But, she'll not have another crack
If she were begging, "Pretty please"
Let her write it on her own
Let her readers gag and groan
I'll help no more; condemned forever: Threes!

FG: “Write with Turtle”—Ha!

But maybe soon I’ll hear him say
“You got it, kid! Hooray!!!
No more of those
‘Rewrite—this blows!’
Pace: second nature to you now
Each syllable a perfect fit
And though you’re not a math’matician;
For analysis, no clue;
Still I’m very happy
To be writing songs with you."
I’ll be so proud to share "my space”
With Turtle here on AIR;
Accustomed to his pace.

Accustomed to her grace

© 2009 Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Henry Higgins - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
“You got it, kid! Hooray!!!
Mark Scotti - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Pacing of turtles are generally slow, but when combined with a fiddler, marvelous pacings commence, as with this instrucural masterpiece! Fives, fives, and more fives...
TT - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: Unfortunately "someone" (a gentleman never tells) submitted this twice... More comments are at the second version, including TT's explanation of how it happened -- it was all his fault -- but this was the correct version. (Link and copyright omitted on the other.) Many, many thanks for the kind comments and votes -- sorry that you're here all alone ATM. :)
Timmy1000 - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm getting more upper crust by the day reading your latest, TT and FG. Well written and nice back and forth on this. I'm surprised this one doesn't have more comments as it appears before the other one - at least on my computer.
3.1415926535 - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Great parody collaboration! Nice to see two AmIRighters work on a duo! Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle at their best! Now who'll be next? Andria and Alvin Rhodes?, DJ Blaze and Christie Marie M?, or Matthias and EmiLoca? Nice to see this satire at it's best pace! 555's!
Tommy Turtle - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Timmy1000: I could be mistaken, but I believe it would appear that way on *all* computers -- at least, it does on mine also. Only explanation I can think of: I sometimes go through the list from the bottom up, as I figure most peeps go from top down, so I'm helping to average out the advantages of placement. Maybe others do that, too? Thanks for very nice comment and vote.

American Pi: Thanks for the kind words! I DK who the next combo is -- this one was a surprise to me, but I sure like it -- and I *think* FG does too. Thanks for v/c, Pi!
Old Man Ribber - September 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Eliza, where the devil are my slippers? ;D
TT - September 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Old Man Ribber: Sorry, but Eliza is busy proofreading what we hope is the final draft of one of tomorrow's... I have to keep on top of her, you know! ;) .... thanks for the comment!
Susanna Viljanen - September 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice one. Fives.
FG @ OMR - September 02, 2009 - Report this comment
LOL... there may be a certain sweet similarity, I think! :)

@TT: Better hurry, it's getting a little crowded up there (as per today's "entry"... hehehehe- Oh, Fiddlegirl....)
FG @ Susanna V - September 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed... many more to come-- and from you, too, I hope???
TT @ FG - September 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Oh, my, TT *has* corrupted you, hasn't he? oh, such guilt .... not! hehehe. Good one :D

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