(Spoken)
No watery, meager, wussy, bland
Commercial brewski for me
That kinda shit wastes me like no shit ever…listen folks…
Brews that advertise so unendingly
Merely want me to trade my dough for their nonentity

(Sung)
The only concoction that I will swill
Is one I’ll brew in my own still
No weenie, whiny, pissy, gassy bottle, no folks!
For no mega-brew do I hurl, I can tell you that right now
I rant, I heave, how can sewage be compared to this
I cheer, I rave, for the buddy who knows what proof it is
I toast, blub blub, for the homebrew made right in my tub
No Coors or Budweiser hurl for me

No belching, brassy, blowzy bad-breath barf-brew, no sir!
That kinda stuff grows you a belly no Romeo ever wants
I prefer to use my dime while spending all my time
On a dewy young brew that keeps surprising
All the while its head is rising
No watery, tinny, cheapo, blahski brewski, no folks!
Why they’re selling us cat piss and we’re the suckers you see? Phooey!

I flinch, I hide, when the Budweiser frog goes croaking by
I smile, I grin, when it’s time for a dip in bathtub gin
I hope, I pray, for Coors to ship just to Uruguay
No Coors or Budweiser will ever be a hurl for me
No Coors or Budweiser hurl for me