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Song Parodies -> "Playing Too Much Trombone Can Destroy Your Constitution"

Original Song Title:

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"

Original Performer:

Mary Poppins Soundtrack

Parody Song Title:

"Playing Too Much Trombone Can Destroy Your Constitution"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

For round two of my assault on the amiright Big Seven, I turn to the movie Mary Poppins. I now know why Chim Chim Cher-ee was chosen as the Academy Award winning song rather than this one! That said, this is probably the easiest of the seven to parody...and I ALWAYS take the line of least resistance. ;D



Playing too much trombone can destroy your constitution.
To a total breakdown it can make a contribution.
Play too many jobs and you'll be in an institution.
Playing too much trombone can destroy your constitution.

Hum diddle diddle diddle - play on the slide.
Hum diddle diddle diddle - pain in my side.
Hum diddle diddle diddle - scars on my hide.
Hum diddle diddle diddle - I almost died!

Oh it's been more than forty years - since I took up the horn.
My arm bones now are damaged - all the ligaments are torn.
My teeth have an odd angle - I now have the strangest bite.
My old right lung - is badly sprung - and I can't breathe at night! (Oh!)

Playing too much trombone can destroy your constitution.
If you play it badly you will cause some noise pollution.
All the neighbors soon will be demanding restitution.
Playing too much trombone can destroy your constitution.

Hum diddle diddle diddle - sounds like a prop'.
Hum diddle diddle diddle - ears gonna pop.
Hum diddle diddle diddle - Hey! Make it stop.
Hum diddle diddle diddle - Just call a cop.

My tone had all the power of - a thousand fire alarms.
Soon residents for miles around - were getting up in arms.
it terrified young children - and it scared the shell-shocked vets.
And PETA raised a stink - said I was torturing the pets! (Oh!)

Playing too much trombone can destroy your constitution.
If it is your livelihood - you'll die in destitution.
You will do much better if you take up prostitution.
Playing too much trombone can destroy your constitution.

Hum diddle diddle diddle - need a trombone?
Hum diddle diddle diddle - leave me alone!

(Spoken)
Now you could switch to another instrument. But that would put the remaining trombonists on the endangered species list, and we wouldn't want to do that...would we?

(Sung)
So don't expect to get a lot of calls for music jobs.
The only people working are the drums and gee-tar slobs.
But there are other uses if you'll only use your head.

(Spoken)
For example: (Yes?) Last night, I played it in the kitchen and now all the bugs are dead! (Female scream) And it's a darn good thing too. (Oh!)

(Sung...rapidly)
Playing too much trombone can destroy your constitution.
Switching to a tuba never is a good solution.
It is the wrong instrument if you're a Lilliputian.
Playing too much trombone can destroy your constitution!



Two down and right on schedule! ;D

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 1
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   9
 9
 9
 

User Comments

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Night Owl - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Wow, earliest update ever...

Great first try on this not-at-all easy OS. Many, even vets, don't bother with the dialog (coughkrcough). Definitely Five-worthy for the first shot.

Suggestions for future: vary the um-diddles too, although at least the latter halves were varied, unlike the previously-coughed version. ;)

Most versions here seem to hold to an AAAA rhyme scheme all the way through each stanza, probably just to show off ;), though you're quite correct that. TOS uses AABB as you did here.. No foul. 555, and congrats on two down!

Looking forward to the other five!
SamuraiMaster - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Who keeps onebombing you? :( Good thing I am a drummer...
John Barry - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
I can't even master the sax. Can't imagine the embouchure challenges the trombone must pose.
Barry J. Mitchel - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Harold Hill (Music Man) was right: "You can't make a living selling slide trombones. No,sir; no,sir!" But playing one? Demand exceeds supply. What other instrument can play "Rastus Trombone"? It's time someone composed a concerto for trombone and orchestra, or put Suzuki trombones in public schools. But alas, PETA (plug every trombone aperture) would object. 555 ;-(o)
Old Man Ribber - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks all. Owl - some fine avian wisdom (by chance are you related to a TurTle?). Master - no clue who or why. JAB - it's easier than you think. Brass must do more with the mouth, but you woodwinds have to develop finger co-ordination we've never imagined. BJM - I like the way you think! The truth - I am really not that great...I was a euphonium major in college. But as an instrument for a crazy man...it works! ;D
AFW - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Well, if you play even half as well as you parody...you gotta' be Glen Miller..
Old Man Ribber - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
LOL...Glen Miller was a very skillful efficient trombonist whose gifts were elsewhere. You may have something there, AFW! ;D
Mark Scotti - September 21, 2010 - Report this comment
Great job on one of the big 7, OMR. All 555 notes were sweet!!
Wild Child JIN - September 22, 2010 - Report this comment
I think I can sllliiiiiddde out 3 fives from my trombone for this one! :-) 555
Christie Marie M - October 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Ribber Mans the Big 7 #2. Sorry to have missed this one! This sure played on a right note. Tooting 555's for this one!

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