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Song Parodies -> "They're The Party (New Labour)"

Original Song Title:

"It's My Party"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Lesley Gore

Parody Song Title:

"They're The Party (New Labour)"

Parody Written by:

Andy Primus

The Lyrics

They’re the party who were trashin’ our country
Trashin’ our country
Trashin’ our country
You’d think that too, if a decent IQ

I’m ruddy glad that New Labour has gone…‘twas, surely, not before time
That Brown was wreckin’ our land…an’ Blair thought he was divine

They’re the party who were full o’ the wankers
Aidin’ the bankers
Aidin’ the wankers
You’d think that too, if a decent IQ

Here at my business: no workers in sight…they smoke in a shed in the yard
When they’re all slackin’ outside…to get work done is so hard

They’re the skivers who don’t work when they ought to
Shirkin’, they all do
Workin’, they don’t do
They say they’ll sue if I say it won’t do

C;
C;
(Smoke break for the “workers”)
C;
C;

Puffin’ on ciggies ain’t welcome no more…hate to hear how they cough
They got a nasty surprise…told ‘em all to piss off

It’s my comp’ny; I’ll employ who I want to
Use who I want to
Choose who I want to
No job here due, if a cig is for you

Oh
It’s my comp’ny; I’ll employ who I want to
Use who I want to
Choose who I want to
No job here due, if a cig is for you

This one would have been more relevant a year ago. My brother (the business owner in this parody) recently came up with the idea because he hates both New Labour & paying people to smoke in the yard while they should be working. He heard the song on the radio, began changing a few bits around & then couldn’t get the idea out of his head. Sound familiar?

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 5   3
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You Should Be Made An MP... - September 05, 2011 - Report this comment
.... "Master of Parody".

Funny thing - just saw a report on a US news channel about the US Postal Service. Losing business due to email etc., and losing money as a result. Why? Because their contracts with the postal workers' union forbid layoffs. So they're paying some thousands of "workers" who have nothing to do but, as you said, take an all-day smoke break.

In the US, such contracts and the forced do-nothing jobs are called,"feather-bedding". Do you use that word? Dates back to 1800s, when a railroad could travel only 100 miles/day. Even as speeds increased, they had to change crews every 100 miles, so it was, like, two hours of work per day, then lie on your feather mattress the rest of the day. Carrying 12 crews to do the work of three. And keeping the guy on the caboose (last car) holding a lantern as a warning to those behind, long after modern electrical signaling systems. Probably didn't bother to hold the lantern lol.

Big factor in encouraging people to risk that new-fangled "flying", despite the noise, vibration, and lack of ability to fly "above the weather" in those early planes vs. modern airliners. Killed off most long-distance passenger rail service.

Mostly only short-distance commuter rail, in cities with enough population density to support it, like the Boston - NY - Washington DC corridor. Long distance RR is mostly hauling of freight too heavy for airlines, like coal, oil, gravel. And after enough RR co's went bankrupt or merged, the contracts finally became a bit more reasonable for those left.

However, to suggest that employers should have their choice of who to hire and how many, brings an immediate scream of "Anti-labor, enemy of the workers". The Governor of Wisconsin took heavy flak for that, and so have a number of private co's.

Paying people to do nothing, carrying excess payrolls.... Gee - maybe that's why so many jobs have been outsourced overseas - YA THINK!? ... which brings screams from the same unions that forced the co's to look for someplace more reasonable in the first place.

I'd vote 555, but according to my contract, I don't have to vote on holidays. And today is Labo(u)r Day - how appropriate! *Everyone* gets paid for not working -- except people like your brother, who sign the paychecks.
Old Man Ribber - September 05, 2011 - Report this comment
Andy - I'm no expert on British politics, but I cringe when I see the word "Thatcherism" used by American columnists in the same breath as Fascism. Good parody with a sting. ;D
AndyP - September 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks YSB... - "feather-bed" is in the Oxford but I'd not heard of it in that context. It's not listed as a US only, so we probably do use it. I've only heard of a Norton featherbed frame, which was the fave choice to build a Triton (Norton frame/Triumph Bonneville engine).
Very appropriate Labo(u)r Day - you mentioned that Monday was a holiday, but I didn't know it was called that. Are they all called that, or just that one? Our odd days off throughout the year are called "Bank Holidays".

& OMR - British politics or US politics - what's the difference? They all promise everything (to get the votes) but then fail to deliver.
YSBMAMP, Vol 1 - September 07, 2011 - Report this comment
No, this is one pushed through by the unions, as just another excuse to get one more paid holiday (= day of not working, as opposed to en-BR holiday = vacation, travel). The pols OK'd it, because there a lot more workers than company owners, which means, a lot more votes. And despite the howls about corporate lobbyists (valid), the Big Labor unions grease palms every bit as much.

Side note: At a union rally on said holiday this past Monday, Jimmy Hoffa, Jr. (look up Sr. in WP - mysteriously disappeared, still unsolved, some ghastly speculation), head of a major labor union, was railing against the Tea Party, which favors freedom of *both* sides -- your brother's right to fire the lazy or unnecessary; workers' rights to form unions, and your brother's right to hire non-union workers who are eager to do the job for the pay and benefits offered.
          Hoffa called the Tea Party members "sons of b****es" (this page filtered his word), and said, if they want a fight, we'll fight, and "take them down" - again, his exact words, sounding very much like threats of violence.

The POTUS followed shortly thereafter, and of course praised Hoffa. Reporters later asked POTUS' Press Secretary if in fact such language as Hoffa's was endorsed by the Pres. Secretary dodged the question repeatedly, said the P didn't speak until 20 minutes after Hoffa, didn't hear all of it -- yeah, right, and there's a bridge over the Thames that I'd like to sell you, too. (Not the one that was sold to Lake Havasu, LOL.)

All other holidays have names, although some of the original significance is lost (like Christmas, lol). New Year's Day - d'oh.

"The United States does not have national holidays in the sense of days on which all employees in the U.S. receive a day free from work and all business is halted. The U.S. federal government can only recognize national holidays that pertain to its own employees; it is at the discretion of each state or local jurisdiction to determine official holiday schedules." ... banks generally observe all Federal holidays. Among the Federal holidays:

There used to be separate holidays for the birthdays of George Washington, first POTUS (had a slight run-in with your chaps, IIRC ;), and Abraham Lincoln, who ended legal slavery in the US at the cost of a Civil War won, and of being assassinated by a disgruntled loser.

YSBMAMP, Vol 2 - September 07, 2011 - Report this comment
They got combined into one holiday, "Presidents' Day", which sort of sounds like honoring all of them, even the dishonorable, and IMHO is a disgrace to two great leaders. Reason: No holiday honoring a black person, so they pushed Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Employers screamed at yet another unpaid day; hence, Washington and Lincoln lost their own days. Allegations that King had Communist links, and substantial evidence and admission of a lot of extramarital infidelities (one ongoing mistress and a ton of one-nighters), were conveniently overlooked. Granted, he did a lot to ending the segregation etc. that still permeated the South, but i think Rosa Parks showed more courage, as did James Meredith - or Condoleezza Rice's father, for that matter. (e-mail discussion of riots.)

MLK day was first observed in 1986, but not by all states. It wasn't until 2000 that all 50 states observed it, and the last three to do so were non-South, non-former-slave states: New Hampshire, which as the name implies, is in the "New England" area (Northeast), and Arizona and Utah, two states that weren't even states during the US Civil War. (Admitted 1912 and 1896, respectively.)

Memorial Day, honoring all who died in war, from the Civil War onwards; Independence Day - see the above little ruck with HM King George III - although they actually got the date of independence wrong by two days, an error still uncorrected to this day.
          Columbus Day, honoring the "discovery" of America, although Vikings had come to N. America since, IIRC, the 800s or 900s, - a holiday not dear to Native Americans. (maybe you can make use of that information?)

Veterans' Day: "Honors all veterans of the United States armed forces. It is observed on 11 November to recall the end of World War I on that date in 1918 (major hostilities of World War I were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 with the German signing of the Armistice)."

Thanksgiving Day, originally representing the end of the harvest season in the northern states, though warmer states grow crops year-round . The event that Americans commonly call the "First Thanksgiving" was celebrated to give thanks to Native Americans for helping the Pilgrims of Plymouth Colony survive their first brutal winter in New England. Gee, I'll bet the Native Americans regret that! ;-D ... Made official by Pres. Lincoln during said Civil War.

And Christmas. Which gets started earlier and earlier every year. One store started selling Christmas decorations this past weekend. Highly secularized now, and often celebrated by non-Christians, since so much of it comes from Norse and other Nordic tradition anyway. (Burning logs for bonfires? Mistletoe? All Northern, not applicable to a birth in a desert.)


And LOL - and "amen" to comment @ OMR!
AndyP @ YSBMAMP - September 07, 2011 - Report this comment
DK about the activities of JH jnr but have seen a TV docu about snr - Jnr sounds like a stereotype 50's movie hoodlum ;)
"bridge over the Thames" - can't remember the whole story but I seem to recall that they thought they were buying Tower Bridge. I'll look it up on Wiki & see if that's right.
So, you've got "Presidents' Day", "Martin Luther King, Jr. Day" & "Columbus Day". How about a "Native American Day".
I know a bit about Rosa Parks from seeing another TV docu.
Ruck: ha ha, good to see it in use ;)
Vikings: doubt they got there that early. First recorded raid on Britain was in 793. Eric the Red discovered Greenland in about 985, after being exiled from Iceland. His son, Leif Ericsson, was in Canada about 1000.
Xmas: I borrowed a book from the library a while back about all the Pagan stuff that was adopted - a very interesting read.
More on Labor Day, etc. - September 09, 2011 - Report this comment
"The first Labor Day holiday was celebrated on Tuesday, September 5, 1882, in New York City, in accordance with the plans of the Central Labor Union. The Central Labor Union held its second Labor Day holiday just a year later, on September 5, 1883. In 1884 the first Monday in September was selected as the holiday, as originally proposed, and the Central Labor Union urged similar organizations in other cities to follow the example of New York and celebrate a "workingmen's holiday" on that date. The idea spread with the growth of labor organizations, and in 1885 Labor Day was celebrated in many industrial centers of the country. From 1887 to 1894, 32 enacted Labor Day holidays. On June 28, 1894, Congress passed an act making the first Monday in September of each year a legal holiday in the District of Columbia and the territories (source: US Dept. of Labor)."

You pegged the Hoffa family: Like father, like son. Chip off the old block, and all that.

Didn't bother to look up the first Norse on N. America, but it seems you're right - around 1000. Which makes the claim of Columbus "discovering" it almost 500 years later kind of silly. But it's practically a religious holiday for Italian-Americans, lol -- and you don't want to cross certain elements of that crowd, trust me! (j/k - no offense intended. No, *really*, guys, I was just joking, I swear! ;)

"London Bridge is a bridge in Lake Havasu City, Arizona, United States, that is based on the 1831 London Bridge that spanned the River Thames in London, England until it was dismantled in 1967. The Arizona bridge is a reinforced concrete structure clad in the original masonry of the 1830s bridge, that was bought by Robert P. McCulloch from the City of London. McCulloch had exterior granite blocks from the original bridge numbered and transported to America, to construct the present bridge in Lake Havasu City, a planned community he established in 1964 on the shore of Lake Havasu. The bridge was completed in 1971 (along with a canal), and links an island in the lake with the main part of Lake Havasu City.

"It is a popular rumour that the bridge was bought in the belief that it was London's more recognizable Tower Bridge, but this was ardently denied by McCulloch himself and by Ivan Luckin, who sold the bridge." (to be continued)
3,000-character limit per comment - September 09, 2011 - Report this comment
A common metaphor for an outlandish claim, or someone foolish enough to believe it, is, "If you believe that, I have some land in the Everglades that I'd like to sell you." That is a mostly-swampy area at the southern tip of Florida. During the rainy season (~ May - Oct.), much of it is flooded. During the dry season (the other months, d'oh ;) , or if there is a drought period. some formerly-flooded or swampy land becomes dry land. (And very fertile, and good roosting grounds for migratory birds who come south in the winter, and find lots of yummy bugs and worms on the land and fish in the water.)

During the huge Florida land boom of the 1920s, unscrupulous salesmen would sell such dry lands to Northerners who were down for the winter or on holiday, and didn't know any better . Of course, the "land" was useless 2/3 of the year. Sometimes, the crooks didn't even own it. A good bit of the Everglades is now a National Park.

I DK if you'd know that saying, or the basis for it, and so made an analogy about selling you the London Bridge that is more or less in Arizona. Other such sayings: "sell you the Brooklyn Bridge" (between NYC's boroughs of Manhattan and Brooklyn, and Gov-owned) or "the Empire State Building" -- tallest skyscraper in the world for 40 years after its 1931 completion, and after the destruction of the Twin Towers in the 11 Sep 2001 attacks, it was once again the tallest bldg in NYC, though there are taller ones globally. Implication is a forged deed, and someone stupid enough to pay for it. ;-D

Not too many full-blooded Native Americans left, although a lot of "white" people have some NA blood. (Old saying: When two different peoples meet, first they fight, then they fornicate.) I had a gf who was part-Cherokee., about 1/8, I think, but would be ID'd as "white" or "Caucasian", and you'd not know it from seeing her. (The rest was English-Scottish. Shame on those boys, messing around with the natives! ;)
AndyP - September 10, 2011 - Report this comment
"It is a popular rumour that the bridge was bought in the belief that it was London's more recognizable Tower Bridge, but this was ardently denied by McCulloch himself and by Ivan Luckin, who sold the bridge."

Very popular! - I remembered hearing the rumour from schooldays - I've finally found out 35 years later that it was wrong.

"Brooklyn Bridge" - I've travelled over that one on my one and only trip to the US.

"the Empire State Building" - been up to the viewpoint & took the snaps.

Also saw the Statue Of Liberty - I can remember walking through the bank district to a large park where you catch the ferry to the island.
TT - September 11, 2011 - Report this comment
Did you get to the top of the statue of Liberty Enlightening The World? (that's the actual name, although the name you quoted is pretty much universal now. History of that here:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/emmalazarus0.shtml

Sorry for yet another plug, but you might find some more interesting tidbits for your N-A work in progress.

I was lucky enough to be able to climb up inside the statue, to the glass panels a couple of hundred feet above the sea. Great view. Don't think they let anyone inside now -- the general panic (the terr*rists won). Also got to the obs deck of the Twin Towers. Guess there are advantages to being older, though I'd trade them for being younger LOL.
AndyP @ TT - September 17, 2011 - Report this comment
No, I didn't get to the top of Liberty. They had one of those ropes that divides the area outside into lots of seperate queues. DK if there's a specific name for them, but you start at the end & slowly zigzag your way along until you're at the entrance. The queue was all the way through it, with about a further 100 waiting to join it. I couldn't be bothered to wait, so I just had a walk round the island and then got the ferry back across.

I didn't go to the obs deck of the Twin Towers either. I'm interested in the architecture of buildings so I went up the Empire State instead. Compared to that one, the TT's (LOL) were very dull looking. LOL - security code is YAQ - something we both do a lot of!
TT - September 20, 2011 - Report this comment
You're not the only one who complained about the architecture of the TT (and yes, LOL). When the plans were revealed, many thought them too stark and plain. De gustibus non disputandem est.

I rather liked them. Was never into gargoyles or Goth stuff. Form follows function. They were so huge that dressing them up too much would be too "busy", but that's just my opinion, and you know what opinions are like --

Anyway, they looked "clean" and modern, to moi. I guess if you're used to Medieval castles, .... ok, enough YAQ. ;)

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