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Song Parodies -> "Ruby Killed This Guy"

Original Song Title:

"Judy In Disguise"

Original Performer:

John Fred And The Playboy Band

Parody Song Title:

"Ruby Killed This Guy"

Parody Written by:

Alvin Rhodes

The Lyrics

ruby killed this guy
didn't get too far
officers, by
knocked the livin' tar
what a surprise
and no one knew why
ruby killed this guy
in dallas

lee was wearin' iron bracelets
guest of texas law
shot in the heart, yeah yeah
and no one foresaw
never thought a man would try
ruby killed this guy
in dallas

jumped in on the right
jumped in on the right
shaken by the sudden sight
cops jumped on ol' jack and held tight

ruby killed this guy
that he was aimin' for
a circus of horrors, yeah
on the jailhouse floor
he did it so cold and callous
a life he did take
in dallas

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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white trash - July 20, 2007 - Report this comment
good job love the parody
John Barry - July 20, 2007 - Report this comment
"in Dallas" for "with glasses". . .nice touch.
alvin - July 20, 2007 - Report this comment
thanks white trash and john
Michael Pacholek - July 20, 2007 - Report this comment
We'll never know if Oswald acted alone -- or at all -- but I'm convinced Ruby did. And I understand his reasons, avenging JFK, wanting to spare Jackie the pain of a trial. But he still shouldn't have done it. The American people deserved to know if Oswald did it, and, if so, why. Ruby was no hero. Then again, even if he didn't kill JFK, Oswald was scum anyway, and there's plenty of evidence for that (betrayed his country, beat his wife, sided with Castro, etc.). Here's something weird, on a totally unrelated subject: The security code for this comments was MWD. If anybody finds WMD... as a security code... does that prove that Bush deserves supportive parodies?
alvin - July 20, 2007 - Report this comment
thank michael...i've always been fascinated with the JFK / LHO / JR thing...i was 8 and it was the first time i really payed atention to anything in the news....and i hope bush's colonoscopy is especially painful
stuart mcarthur - July 21, 2007 - Report this comment
nice one al, but I'm especially interested in MP's comments...MP..MP..MP - that's so you'll see this, MP ;-)

Michael, I've always been more intrigued by the Ruby story than the LHO story, so I'm interested that you say you're "convinced" Ruby acted alone. Why are you convinced? Is it really just because of the 2 reasons you just gave. ie. that you think that he wanted to give away his freedom and his life just to avenge his country's leader (happened in Shakespeare's plays and Greek mythology I guess, so it might be possible), or that he decided to give away his freedom and his life simply to spare Jackie some discomfort? Or do you have another reason? Because it's the precise unbelievablility of those 2 reasons (imo) that I've always been 100% sceptical of the motives, and that's where the truth always lies.

So the answer is probably in the results of his actions, and who desired those results. The results of his actions were that nobody was able to find out the truth about LHO's involvement (him being suddenly dead and unable to be cross-examined) - and whose purpose did that obstruction of truth serve? The Govt's? The Mafia's? The Commies? Oliver Stone's?

I think the whole answer to the mystery of JFK's murder lies in the motive or the reasons for Ruby's actions, yet there is so little information or speculation on it. Does anybody else agree? Why am I the only person who seems to wonder about this?
stuart mcarthur - July 21, 2007 - Report this comment
* chirping of crickets *

Michael Pacholek - July 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Sorry about the delay, Stuart. Anyway, while there's plenty of evidence Ruby knew a bunch of mobsters, that evidence also suggests they wouldn't have counted on him to "do a job" for them. I'd still rather be stuck on an 8-hour bus ride with him than Oswald, but he was a small-time strip-club owner who thought he was a bigshot. He was Jewish (his real name was Jacob Rubenstein), and yet he was able to overcome prejudice in Texas, and loved America for it. It wasn't specifically JFK but the Presidency he was trying to avenge. And he did say after he was arrested that he wanted to spare Jackie a trial. A lot of people thought of him as a hero for that, but I can't accept him as such. Now, if he'd gunned down Carlos Marcello and Santo Trafficante, the mob bosses who were the likeliest guys to have ordered a "hit" on JFK, I would applaud him. Those guys were scum even if they weren't involved. But guys like that didn't think much of Ruby before the shooting. That's why I find it hard to believe they hired him to silence Oswald. After all, if Oswald talked about them, I'm not sure he would've been believed. And the Mob's lawyers would've said just that: "This guy killed the President, he renounced his citizenship, he's a Communist. You can't trust his word." I guess you're lucky to live in a country where leaders don't get assassinated (Gough Whitlam doesn't count), Communism has always been an afterthought, and the closest thing to a true Mob boss is... Rupert Murdoch. Come to think of it, he's the biggest one here, too.
stuart mcarthur - July 24, 2007 - Report this comment
multiple lols on the 8-hour busride, Gough, and Rupert (btw we've had our own gangland wars here in Melbourne the last 5 years - a bit Al Capone-ish - they're making a miniseries about it - the 2 rival gangs were so determined to knock each other off there was a real worry that soon Melbourne mightn't have any dumb-ass gangsters left)

thanks for the interesting info on Ruby MP, but it's still just generally accepted that Ruby was what he appeared, ie. a small-time hoodlum with a fierce and unlikely patriotic streak - unlikely because as I said before, since Shakespeaere died, there haven't been many characters prepared to fall on their sword out of love for their leader, let alone their leader's wife (Janette Howard can handle attending a murder trial, as far as I'm concerned - I'm not prepared to go to prison for the rest of my life in an attempt to avoid her the uncomfortable seating, like Jack Ruby apparently did.)

That Jack Ruby's generally-accepted insanely-noble, patriotic, selfless motives haven't been re-examined by the Oliver Stones and the Moores and the Vidals over there is an endless source of wonder to me. The truth of the whole JFK thing lies in who REALLY benefited from Ruby's actions - Ruby certainly didn't.
stuart mcarthur - July 24, 2007 - Report this comment
PS: MP, why would having to overcome prejudice in Texas make you love America? (as you said above)

and PPS: did you ever google "Khemlani" and the "loans affair"?

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