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Song Parodies -> "Econ 101 Turtle: TT"

Original Song Title:

"What A Wonderful World (This Would Be)"

Original Performer:

Herman’s Hermits

Parody Song Title:

"Econ 101 Turtle: TT"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

A little side dish (oops -- did Tiger Woods turn that into a bad expression?) to our other post today, this one more from moi's (FG) perspective.

Don’t know much fis-cal history
Don’t know much economy
Don’t know much about Bretton Woods [1]
Don’t know much about exchange of goods
But I do know I have TT
What he knows, he always shares with me
And I gather each pearl, gratefully!

Don’t know “Cost of Opportunity” [2]
Long run/Short run dichotomy
Never understand Dow Jones charts
Can’t tell Friedman and Keynes apart
But I know that Tommy loves this stuff
Graphs, statistics: Can’t get enough
My financial advisor: TT

Now, he don't claim to be L. von Mises [3]
But he’s like him to me
The banks are declining, the stock market’s crazy,
TT can explain, you see

Macro/Micro? A mystery
Rate exchange of currency
Haven't planned for retirement
And can’t figure where my savings went
But I do know that others, too,
Share confusion and are feeling blue
And I tell them to call on TT

[Interlude: Politicians posture, each blaming the other side, while the world slides downward for refusing to recognize the facts of (economic) life and of "human action". (see note #3)]

So if you find confusing, too --
What the politicians say and do
Ask our MBA Turtle, TT!




[1] "Bretton Woods" -- an international conference held in Bretton Woods, New Hampshire, USA, in July 1944, to design a plan to restore global economic order from the disastrous disruptions caused by World War II. There is a "slight" chance that more details might be found in our companion post today, "American Pie Shrinks As More Slices Handed Out".

[2] "Opportunity cost" -- in economic decisions, the value of what you must give up to do the thing you are thinking about doing.
(FG Fairly & Graciously turns the lectern over to TT at this point.)

Simple example: A car dealer offers you either 0% financing, or $3,000 "cash back" if you buy a new car (not both.) Suppose the retail price of the car is $20,000.00, and that you actually do have the needed $17,000.00 cash in the bank. (You do, don't you? :-) To determine which is the better deal, you must consider how much interest the bank would pay you on that $17k over the same period of time. Paying cash for the car saves $3,000.00 vs. the freebie loan, but there is an "opportunity cost" of the lost interest that would have been earned if you took the free loan and kept the money in the bank. Currently, savings account rates are low - only 1 - 2 % in the US -- so the opportunity cost factor here is almost negligible.

Hint: Most of the time, the 0% financing will be the less favorable deal. The car dealer's finance company isn't stupid. If they can't make more on the discounted financing than the bank is paying on deposits (they'll pay the car dealer the same $17k that you would, but they'll get your note for $20k in return), they'd just put their money in the bank instead of taking the crazy, foolhardy risk of lending it to someone like you. (j/k! -- but you get the point.)

Bonus hint for geeks and wanna-bes:
Most 0% loans are for short terms, often as short as two years. In the above example, the finance company's $17k loan has an effective annual return to them ("APR") of about 16.2%. We *told* you they weren't stupid. :) You can't get 16% on your bank savings account. But in effect, the loan costs you that.

Bonus hint for the Real World:
Suppose you don't have the cash (Shocked! We're *shocked*, we tell you!), but your credit union will lend you the 17k (3k cash back is the down payment) at, say, 5% APR. You now know to take the credit union's loan, because paying 5% interest with a 3k rebate is better than paying 0% interest at an effective APR of 16.2 %.

[3] (TT:) Why do so many people think economics is some arcane mystery, like rocket science? Here's one example: The actual opening paragraph of Wikipedia's article on von Mises' book, "Human Action":

" 'Human Action: A Treatise on Economics' is the magnum opus of the Austrian economist Ludwig von Mises. It presents a case for laissez-faire capitalism based on Mises' praxeology, or rational investigation of human decision-making. It rejects positivism within economics. It defends an a priori epistemology and underpins praxeology with a foundation of methodological individualism and laws of apodictic certainty. Mises argues that the free-market economy not only outdistances any government-planned system, but ultimately serves as the foundation of civilization itself."

Cripes, it's bad enough that TT has a thing for sheep; now everyone knows that he's also an apodictic praxeologist. (huh?)

Here's how TT would describe von Mises and his greatest work:

"Ludwig von Mises (1881 – 1973) was an Austrian economist whose magnum opus was 'Human Action: A Treatise on Economics'. It presents a case for laissez-faire* capitalism based on Mises' rational investigation of human decision-making. Mises argues that the free-market economy not only outdistances any government-planned system, but ultimately serves as the foundation of civilization itself."

See? It *can* be explained in reasonable English -- which we tried to do in the companion economics parody posted today. (This is where having a bright, well-educated partner, but without a background or education in the financial fields, served as an invaluable sounding board for the other parody, giving feedback and making sure that TT's professional knowledge was being put into English that other readers without specialized knowledge could grasp. Since FG has already hit the hay and left TT to do the posting -- he knows the HTML markup code, anyway -- she doesn't know this comment was added. Surprise! xoxoxo muah!)

TT had to read the entire 900+ -page original of "Human Action" (*zzzzzz*). All *you* have to do is read our companion parody posted today. Lucky you!


* "laissez-faire" - (c. 1680) French for "Let It Be", a title brutally ripped off by The Beatles almost 300 years later.

© 2009 Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail: tomm...@yahoo.com

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Old Man Ribber - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment
No economies taken with the wry chuckles. Adam Smith and John Maynard Keynes have nothing on FG and TT. ;D
TJC - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment
"Praxeologically perfect in every way!" [attrib to: M(ises). Poppins]

N00b question: But isn't it lay'ze'faire at the root of Woods' recent economic catastrophe?
Patrick - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment
If you can't tell Keynes from Friedman, you need a refresher course. First person in history to mention Ludwig von Mises in a song. Maybe you can work in Ayn Rand some day. I just read a shocking revelation about Rand the other day. But its nothing completely out of character.
AFW - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Quite intellectual...I knew I should've went to college...
Fiddlegirl - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment
OMR: Smith and Keynes may have nothing on us, but the FBI has a *whole file* on TT... (Oops, I don't think I was supposed to say that.) ;) Thanks for kind v/c.

TJC: TT always praxeologics what he preaches! :) Your witty v/c always appreciated.

Patrick: Yes, I do need a refresher course! (Is there an "Economics for Dummies"?) And Ayn Rand is one of TT's fave authors-- after L. von Mises, of course. ;) Thanks for the props!

AFW: 20 years ago, I didn't know what an intellectual was. Today, I are one! ;) Thanks for kind words, as always.
blackjack21 - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Footnote and fancy spree.
Tommy Turtle - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Old Man Ribber: Keynes had nothing, period, except destruction -- hence the expression, "Raising Keynes". (heh heh) ... and no doubt was named after the Biblical Cain.:) But appreciate the comparison to Smith! Thanks for v/c!

TJC: Methinks Woods' catastrophe is more than merely economic, though it cost him a pretty penny, and a lot of ugly dollars. Fortunately, those dollars were all highly devalued :) Besides, if he'd followed the translation, and just "Let It Be" ;) .... Seriously. LOL at the "noob" question, and I seemed to have missed that particular Poppins quote -- uh, where exactly is that? .. thanks, TJ! :) :) :)

Patrick: Re: "Maybe you can work in Ayn Rand some day."

Your wish was already my command:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/dionnewarwick20.shtml
Enjoy!

Re: shocking revelation about Rand: Not sure if you're referring to her chocolate-and-cheese addiction, her amphetamine-powered writing bouts (worked a full time job until achieving authorship success, and wrote not one, but two, magnum opi, plus numerous lesser works -- try "We, The Living", a fascinating semi-autobiographical novel of the results of the Bolshevik Revolution) or her prolonged and open extra-marital affair. ("Cougar Woman", long before the term existed -- *soooo* ahead of her time! ) But we judge the work, not the person behind it, and I'm sure most other famous figures in history, science, golf, etc. had their personal flaws. (Did I say "golf"? Wonder why?)

Thanks for v/c, and for racking up yet another FirsTT! (Said to be the first writer to have used "vapid" in a parody, and surely the first to have used "deoxyribonucleic", lol!)

AFW: Old joke: Definition of an intellectual: Anyone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of The Lone Ranger. Which excludes us, as you can see by http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/jaylivingstonandrayevans0.shtml. ... TT always found a hidden pun in that joke: In-Tell-ectual. But no one else did -- story of his life. :-( Thanks for v/c!

blackjack21: LOL, and you're on a "multum in parvo" comment roll! Thanks!
Patrick - December 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Really liked your take on Atlas Shrugged. That book explained so much of the world and why it runs as it does. Wish I had read it when I was younger. I just ran across a posting from Rand's journal, circa 1928, in which she expresses admiration for a man who defied the norms of society, cared not what public opinion thought of him. Unfortunately the public was judging him for abducting and raping a 12-year old girl, collecting a ransom from her father, then dumping her dismembered body in front of him. The dull, petit bourgeois jurors of California, in those pre-gas chamber days, put a rope around his neck and sent him to his eternal reward. I just heard on the radio that Tiger Woods has been named "Athlete of the Decade". Of course this has been a decade in which baseball players are renowned for taking steroids, and basketball players are known for beating up their girlfriends. Cheating on one's wife with not one, but, what is it, twelve(?) other women. Definitely an honor more deserved than Obama's peace prize.
Tommy Turtle - December 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Patrick: I think the count (score?) is up to 15 -- last I heard. Expect more to come out of the Woods. (oh, TT!)

I'd like to be pointed to that journal entry. Kidnap and murder aren't sanctioned anywhere in Rand's books or philosophy.

Yep, Tiger was quite an "athlete", alright -- on the greens or the sheets - and no, I don't see any more peace in the world than before O took office, only an escalation in Afghanistan.

Or as SNL put it, "Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize this week, the first time in history that a Nobel Prize has been awarded for Not Being George W. Bush." ... think that pretty well sums it up. ... and speaking of "devaluation", doesn't that kind of devalue the Nobel? Poor Alfred Nobel must be spinning in his grave.
Peregrin - August 15, 2012 - Report this comment
Good one, "And I tell them to call on TT". I'll be ringing on MBA555
Tommy Turtle - August 15, 2012 - Report this comment
Peregrin: Thanks! ... and I hoped you might like the last line of the footnotes. ;=D
Tommy Turtle - November 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks to ChuckyG for fixing the "dollar-sign bug" that had caused the dollar amounts in the footnotes not to display properly.

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