-> "The Ballad Of National City"
Original Song Title:
"The Ballad Of Jed Clampett"
Parody Song Title:
"The Ballad Of National City"
Let me tell ya' all a story 'bout a bank I dread
NC.. National City, they can suck my head!
I was robbed by this bank,
Through an escheatment law..
Gave my money to the state,
Rubbed my backside raw..
Savings, that is,
Vacuumed, like it didn't exist..
Nothin' left,...but, dollar dust..
Was informed by the teller at the drive-thru branch
Made my blood rush red just like an avalanche..
I screamed, "Whatcha' mean..
Where the Hell's my cash?"
If I'd 'a had a pistol, might a' done somethin' rash..
Blast, that is.
Over there heads first,
Or maybe, not even a warning shot..
Well, the flabbergasted gal says I should go inside
The manager will then explain, so in, I flied
Six words, "I'm with a customer, please wait" she crowed
I was fumin' like a truck flare, ready to explode..
Cracklin fuse, that is.
Dynamite! WHAT..? WAIT..?
At a time like this ???
So's, another gal came over, a good thing, she did
In another twenty seconds, I'd a' popped my lid..
As she fingered her computer, told me "Sir, stay calm .."
My mind was detonatin' like a napalm bomb...
Flamethrower, that is.
Little Viet Nam!
She was actin' like it's nothin'...happens every day
My mouth is bloomin' cotton, words are hard to say..
She says they thought that I was dead, account dormant..
"Well, can't you see I'm here alive??" I rave and rant..
Out a' control, that is.
"Catch Twenty Two'ed"
She tells me I must call the state, there's nothin' they can do
Wishin' I was Richard Reid, so, I could blow my shoe !
She scribbled down a number, and then handed me a slip..
I could feel hot blood a' squirtin' 'cause I'd bit my lip!
Hemoglobin, that is..
Type A B,
It was all I had left!!!
Homeward, fast I hurried in my silver Malibu
Grabbed a phone, was put on hold about an hour or two..
Now, it's five o'clock on Friday...no one in weekend hours
Had to suffer Sat and Sun, takin' ice cold showers..
Trauma, that is...
A truck load of "Why Me's????"
On the phone about a month, I made a call each day
It's hard to get back money once it's whisked away
Had thought about a lawyer, but he would a' jawed a bite
So, I fought like Jimmy Stewart in "A Wonderful Life"
Yelled a lot!
Pumped up passion!
Etched me some nice ulcers..
They mailed a fancy affidavit, said I had to sign
I told 'em they could shove it where the sun don't shine
They wanted me to claim the blame for what was their mistake..
And promise not to sue, I told 'em jump that lake
Superior, that is! The big one..
No floatation device!
Wearin' concrete boots !
After nearly thirty days, received a call that said,
Your Index savings fund's no longer in the red
"That's fine, I'm closin' my account...Get that vault tapped!"
I'll come by in half an hour, have the cash all wrapped..
Filthy lucre! No checks!
Well, they stuffed my bundled bounty in a plain brown bag
Strolled from that institution with a real cool shag
Just wished it could 'a been a billion, so's to leave 'em bust
From now on, Tyra is the only Banks, I'll trust..
Or zippered mattresses!
Cookie jars !
And I ain't comin back now, ya' heah?
Your Vote & Comment Counts
The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they
appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to
leave a comment below about this parody.
|How Funny: ||5.0|
|Overall Rating: ||5.0|
|Total Votes: ||8|
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| || || || ||Pacing|| ||How Funny|| ||Overall Rating|
| ||1|| ||0||
| ||2|| ||0||
| ||3|| ||0||
| ||4|| ||0||
| ||5|| ||8||