Though I said your feet were hooves
And your laugh was like a bray
It wasn't me who chained you to
The post the other day

Now that you have gone and spawned
And we've got a newborn roan
I'm prepared to stand by you
For my words, I'll atone

You don't have to shave your lovely
Face and cloven hands
You don't have to shave your nethers,
I will understand
Don't leave me, don't leave me
I won't be a burden
But don't leave me and saddle me with fears...

Though you have no mammaries
You are not without appeal
And you are the only ass
I'll ever want to feel

You don't have to shave your knock-knees
I reverse my stance
I will never give another
Ass another glance
Believe me...
Believe me...
Believe me...