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Song Parodies -> "Why I Kvetch All Day"

Original Song Title:

"If You Go Away"

Original Performer:

Dusty Springfield

Parody Song Title:

"Why I Kvetch All Day"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Imagine the late Christine Nelson, who used to sing with Allan Sherman, singing this.
Why I kvetch all day on this holiday -
It's not a holiday because I slave all day.
All our folks fly in and have to stay -
At our house all during Channu - kay.
So I schlep and cook and clean all day -
Why did we move to Californ - i -ay?
Wish they'd stay away, they'd stay away, they'd stay away.

If they stay away we'll have a holiday -
Where we can play instead of work all day.
We can watch football 'till the cows come home -
And catch up on reading John O'Hara's tomes.
I expect too much, that will never be -
Now the kids they cry - they want a Christmas tree!
A Christmas tree, a Christmas tree, a Christmas tree!

Meine mishpocech -
Machetunim -
All meshuggeneh -
Hok nit kain tchynik!
My Moishe's goyish -
Bravel me shiksa -
Moishe Kapoyr -
A nechtiger tog!
Brekhn zolstu dem kop -
Feffer dir in noz -
Miesse meshina -
I'm oysgematert!
Oy vay is mir, oy vay is mir, oy vay is mir!

If they stay away we'll get some sleep at night -
A week of peace and quiet without family fights.
We'll clean the house and it'll stay that way -
There will be no need to lock the booze away.
I'll fry latkes just for you and me -
And the kids can pay for their damn Christmas tree!
If they stay away, they stay away, they stay away.

But here they come like a swarm of bees -
Mom on her broom, the rest in SUV's.
A noisy room full of screaming kids -
A throbbing pain behind my eyelids.
Entertaining shnorrers the whole day through -
Tell them to buy a place in Malibu!
And they'll stay away, they'll stay away, they'll stay away.
Yeah, yeah, I know I should have thought of this last fall, but I didn't, so sue me!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - April 25, 2006 - Report this comment
cool....was she the "i can't dance" singer ?
2Eagle - April 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Remember "Sarah Jackman" and "Marvin, you're a rotten kid."?
Tommy Turtle - April 25, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm a Dusty fan, but DKTOS... read it with OS lyrics by the side. Very imaginative.... saw that OS goes into French where you went into Yiddish; I understand only a little of each.... 555 for high creativity and craftsmanship; maybe more user-friendly with links to OS and translations for the goyim.
btw, while looking up OS, saw for the first time that Dusty was les and cut herself a lot... always a story behind the music.
Rick C - April 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Such a parody you've written. I laughed so hard I got a goiter 555
Dee Range - April 25, 2006 - Report this comment
555 The mom coming in on her broom line cracked me up.

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