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Song Parodies -> "Retarded Puns"

Original Song Title:

"Fortunate Son"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Creedence Clearwater Revival

Parody Song Title:

"Retarded Puns"

Parody Written by:

The CrazyCam

The Lyrics

Yes, I love the hypocrisy of this whole song too. But it's in good humor still, so why not? I accept all justified comments, questions, complaints and explanations. I pity the fool who does so back...wow, actually, that was not intended at first to impersonate Mr. T, but oh well, I'll keep it.
Most jokes are spawned made to make ya laugh
Ooh, some aren’t good for brain
Like if you jump off a bridge in France
Oh, they’d consider you in Seine, Lord

You know me, you know me
Don’t like them senseless, thick puns, puns
You know me, you know me
Don’t like them retarded ones, no

Some folks are born, suffering they can
Ooh, they endure jokes well, Lord
But when comics note a house ringer
Lord, it’s described as a-door-a-bell, yeesh

You know me, you know me
Hate all them moronic, dim puns, no, no
You know me, you know me
Hate all them retarded ones, lord

Some comics make actually funny gags
Ooh, you fall out of your seat, lord
Except when they discuss a vegan
She became one ‘cause she couldn’t make ends meat

You know me, you know me
Refund for them dimwitted, cheap puns
You know me, you know me
Refund for them retarded ones

You know me, you know me
So tired of retarded ones, ones, ones, ones
You know me, you know me
So tired of retarded puns, dumb, puns, dumb
http://www.metrolyrics.com/fortunate-son-lyrics-ccr.html

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 2
 
 5   3
 3
 2
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - March 17, 2010 - Report this comment
A dissentling opinion: Puns are not always the lowest form of humor (Have you ever seen Carrot Top or even Marty Allen?). Sometimes they can be raised to an art form...as when Dorothy Parker, referring to her abortion, said "It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one b*stard!". BTW, the 5s are from me...just try to stop me (lol)! ;D
The CrazyCam - March 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Rofl, yeah, Carrot Top is the very bottom of the barrel. Chairman of the Board...ugh, I still cringe at the thought of that film. I do actually find puns funny, but after I laugh, I shake my head in shame because of how simple, yet clever they are.
John Barry - March 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Screw Samuel Johnson. The pun is the highest form of humor.
The CrazyCam - March 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Yeah, it depends on what pun though. Some are just plain stupid, but the guy who came up with the "in Seine" one, for example, is very clever. Puns are, for the most part, hit-and-miss. It just depends what brow of humor you prefer. Anyway, thank you, Old Man Ribber and John Barry!
Dan Creeden - March 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Love it. When are you gonna write Have You Ever Heard The Pun? 5 stars and a Half Moon Rising.
Phil Nelson - March 17, 2010 - Report this comment
good puns
The CrazyCam - March 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Thank you, Phil Nelson and Dan Creeden. Lol, that song's all yours, Dan. Ah, and ya noticed my comment on your CCR parody. Yeah, twas decent. Ugh, I forgot where I got my puns now. I just picked 3 at random. But hey, I have some new ideas for this song: MORE PUNS! :O
Tommy Turtle - March 17, 2010 - Report this comment
From any other new writer here, this would be an excellent start. However, since you've been quite strict in pacing comments to other parodies (without actually showing where the errors are), we'll use the same standard.

There are some serious issues in both pacing and stress. I'll write up the detailed analysis and post it a little later, along with an appropriate vote. Right now, I need to eat, and also, have been tracking down a spammer sending virus links to members at our forum, inthe00s. Back later with the facts -- objectively. Cheers.
Tommy Turtle - March 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Video used for comparison: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ec0XKhAHR5I

Ooh, they POINT the CAN non ...
Oh, they’d con .. SID er .. you
"consider" is double-mis-stressed. Would have to be pronounced "CON-sid-ER", which is awkward.
Tip: If there isn't a better sub or solution, you can do that once in a while, but alert the reader with hyphens, so they know that a syllable-stress change is coming:

Oh, they'd con-sid-er you...

But WHEN the . TAX man .. COMES to ..... .. the DOOR
But when . COM ics NOTE a .......... HOUSE rin ger

Here, it would have to be read as "when comICS note A house rinGER to match stress -- very awkward.

Lord, the HOUSE looks ...like a rummage sale, yes,
Lord, it’s des ..... CRBED as a-door-a-bell, yeesh
This would have to be read as " ... it's DES-cribed ... rest is OK.

I ain't no millionaire's son, no. ... 8 syllables
Hate all them moronic, dim puns, no, no ... 10 syllables
You may have a different source; if so, please link the video or whatever. Else, pace is off by two syllables.

Hate all them retarded ones, lord
I ain't no fortunate one, no.
"Fortunate" stresses on first syl: FOR-tunate
"Retarded" stresses on 2nd sy: re-TARD-ed

Some folks inherit star spangled eyes, ... 9 syllables
Some comics make actually funny gags ... 12, but as we usually elide "actually" to three, still 11. Two over.
Tip: If you *are* going to elide for pacing purposes: put in an apostrophe to let the reader know: "actu'lly". But it's still two syllables over, even so.

And when you ask them, "How much should we give?" ... 10 syl
Except when they discuss a vegan ... 9 syl -- one short, and the stress will depend on how it's corrected.

Ooh, they only answer More! more! more! yoh ... 10 syl
She became one ‘cause she couldn’t make ends meat ... 11 syl
Again, once it's corrected in pacing, stress can be analyzed.

These things are easily analyzed -- and better yet, easily *prevented* -- by TT's Tips for Perfect Parody Pacing. Only two pages long, and it will have you doing all this stuff in your head, automatically, so that it comes out right the first time.
http://home.earthlink.net/~tommythedancingturtle/id3.html

Vote: 534, and thanks for accepting the invitation to display your own works after critiquing others. Now, did anyone "hate" you, as you were afraid of, really? ;) It would be great if your own critiques could be as specific when giving censure. Welcome to AIR!
The CrazyCam - March 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Actually, I think I know the problem. The lyric site I linked isn't accurate with the lyrics I typed myself (I go hardcore with lyrics). Gah, wish I just posted the original lyrics so there won't be as much confusion. For example, "described" in the last line of second verse has an unnecessary 'a' in front of it. I didn't bother typing it down because it's such a traditional CCR elements, it would be rather distracting. But, it's a good point, so why not? I'll place my extra 'a's all around my CCR parodies...or parody, I didn't really want to go past this one song. Damn, I thought I wrote the "Yeah!" before the third verse. Oh well, it'll all be fixed in V2. Another 'a', or really 'uh', should have been in front of except on third line of third verse, already explained what my intentions were though. As for the last line of the third verse, 'she' is taking place of the 'ooh' in the original song, and sorry, I say 'couldn't' as one syllable. It's a British slip of mine, so for you hardcore Americans, just say 'couldn't' swiftly. Alright then? Alright. Ugh, forgot to add extra puns and ones in the third chorus. And...that's it. I hope I cleared up those technical errors.
The CrazyCam - March 17, 2010 - Report this comment
What first time tipsy mistakes did I just make there? "traditional CCR element"**, so I think the only real errors were the absences of 'Yeah!' in the start AND end of verse 3, and the extra 'puns' and 'ones' for third chorus. Anything else was intentionally done different, and so it only appears bad in pacing. They a-add a-A's in a-every a-single a-sentence. But the two I noted above were significant enough, so fine, I'll highlight those areas.
The CrazyCam - March 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Oh, haha, I didn't even realize you posted at the same time. Okay, obviously, you're reHEALLY out to get me, since I didn't even bother to go this far to criticize someone. I write my verdicts very briefly, someone's got too much time on their hands, lol. Okay, since you kept pointing it out, I stress certain syllables more differently than you most likely. Not sure if you are American, but you might at least be doing it from their perspective. Even that fact's not relevant, your complaints on how one would stress a certain syllable have no justified reason as to why they are awkward. I don't see what's wrong with stressing CON and ER in consider, or RE in retarded. Anyway, way too much free time for you. Tsk! Now, I gotta get out of my suit, this thing is roasting!
The CrazyCam - March 18, 2010 - Report this comment
Ooh, did forget to read that first comment of yours. Again, I really don't wanna bother going through every single detail of a parody and specify what is good and what isn't. I am quite the busy teen. But hey, showing this to my sis, she'll enjoy it. And uh, not really new, but hokay. I have a whole lot of other songs saved in my flash drive, including a musical with attached music sheets. :D Close to done, just need more characterization put in place.
Tommy Turtle - March 18, 2010 - Report this comment
It's good to self-identify as British, as there *are* differences in en-BR and en-US that make for pacing and stress diffs, and they've come up many times before. E. g.. "sectret'ry" = "secretary", same with BR "milit'ry". Probably 80%+ of readers here are US, so it's good to know.

You wrote four long responses to my one, and you say *I* have too much time on my hands? !!! .. The only reasons that I did such a thorough analysis were that you had criticized the pacing of others, WITHOUT pointing to specific errors, and because your comments @ others were rather smug, so here was proof positive -- those in glass houses... Yes, there are many other things that I would rather have been doing. I save these exegeses (no, I'm not showing off; I can't think of a better word) for those who I think might appreciate and use them. I was mistaken in this case. It won't happen again.

It's also good to self-identify as a teen. Adults will cut you some deserved latitude. Cheers.
One last TTip: - March 18, 2010 - Report this comment
*Never* trust a web lyric. 98+% are wrong. Get the *original* record or CD in a YouTube video, transcribe it yourself, and work from that. Old saying: If you want something done right... (It took me quite a while to lean that, I'll admit.)
The CrazyCam - March 18, 2010 - Report this comment
I write these long responses pretty quickly actually, in like 4 minutes tops....cept this one, this one's taking much longer. And I said it didn't apply too much to what the main issue was anyway. I honestly don't want someone to tell me what's wrong. I prefer to figure out for myself based on vague responses. Seriously man, you didn't need to go through all of this trouble. If I wanted to point out every single error of a parody, that's basically correcting the parody for them. I do sometimes specify a noticeable problem, but I'm not gonna bother mentioning every minor detail. It's their job, not mine. You keep forgetting I hardly consider myself outstanding, or impressive, or even great. It's my attitude that fools people, deep down, I utterly loathe how imperfect every single parody is. But stress was never an issue, I make the awkward not...awkward, and vice-versa. Uh, hope that was directing to passive browsers, your denial of showing off, since I never said you were in the first place, lol. Well, whatever, I don't want direct help, okay? I already said what went wrong, I messed up a few things with the lyric citation transfer (OLT, yeah, that's what I used to do, use a web page, but I eventually switched to typing down the lyrics myself, which is so much better). I honestly didn't really proofread at all, haha. I just picked a parody at random, and described it a bit up on the top. Alrighty then, well, thanks for the consideration, but I just do not want help. If it makes you feel like I'm a fool though, my sister's on your side. :/ Ah well. And I said I didn't want to be cut slack, just give me brief opinions. Brief is better. But dude, for the next time I post a parody, just say there is a problem with a certain aspect of the parody, I have it all covered.
The CrazyCam - March 18, 2010 - Report this comment
The return key seems to not work for some reason. Anyone know the embed code for 'enter'? It's something like , right?
Phil Alexander - March 18, 2010 - Report this comment
You need to use uppercase BR inside angle brackets.. like ,br. (but holding the shift key down)

..re the parody - DKTOS, so I'll guess that TT's right on his pacing comments. Love the idea for it, but you could have tried to squeeze more puns in.

security code is "H8U".. which is a bit harsh, and not exactly accurate ;-)
Paul Warren - December 07, 2010 - Report this comment
I really LOVE the 3rd verse of this song! And yes...I'm MrC!

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