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Song Parodies -> "Slacker Jeb"

Original Song Title:

"Cracker Jack"

Original Performer:

Cracker Jack TV Commercial

Parody Song Title:

"Slacker Jeb"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Jeb Bush is the most disappointing REP candidate this election cycle...
[Spoken]
What do you get when you wanna attack?
Someone DEMs can't beat
Has a name that's well-known
SuperPAC funded- $100 million- wow!
What do you get?

(Chorus)
High numbers projectin'
Not voter rejectin'
Low-energy, dust-collectin'
6th place seldom mentioned
Slacker Jeb!

[Spoken]
Thought he was best, but now is a flop
Had his name, had his pride
Trump and others passed him over
Even Rubio- his friend, now foe!

(Chorus)

Can't get out his message
Cannot win the prize
That's what you get with slacker Jeb!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Bob Gomez - December 07, 2015 - Report this comment
Rob, gotta agree with you on this one. It's almost as if his sense of entitlement is showing, and he's embarrassed by that. To win, he would have to run against his brother's record, and I don't see him doing that anytime soon.
Rob Arndt - December 07, 2015 - Report this comment
The Bush name is a liability, so his campaign uses the Vote Jeb! ruse. And Trump's "low energy" label has stuck. Bush has now plummeted to a very low 3% while Trump has reached 36%!!! I guess $150 million in SuperPAC money means nothing this election. Trump supporters pretty much don't care what their candidate says as he's a Washington outsider and a rich celeb.
Jonathan - December 07, 2015 - Report this comment
and to think he started out as my top choice for prez... "sigh" is it just me or is he not anywhere near as likeable as George Sr. or Dubya? 5's
Max Power - December 07, 2015 - Report this comment
To be fair, Sr. may have been the most likable despite being a one term president. I mean people did held a level of respect for the guy, even those who hated his son.
Rob Arndt - December 07, 2015 - Report this comment
For me it was opposite. I admired GWB despite the circumstances of the Second Gulf War and the Katrina embarrassment. George HW Bush I was mad at due to all the base closures. And Jon, I am truly baffled by Jeb's fall. He started out on top and is near zero now. Nobody could have anticipated the staying power of Trump.
Michael Pacholek - December 08, 2015 - Report this comment
It has nothing to do with Trump. It has everything to do with Jeb being the symbol of not only the Bush record (and both daddy and big brother were bad), but the Republican establishment in general. If he did somehow get the nomination, Hillary would redecorate the White House by putting Jeb's head on a plaque over the fireplace. It would be like if Jack Kennedy lived and had both Vietnam and Chappaquiddick, and then Ted ran.
Rob Arndt - December 09, 2015 - Report this comment
Michael, I beg to differ. Bush initially was out in front and as one of the most outspoken Conservatives, challenged Mr. Trump on his lack of Conservatism within the party. He took some hits from Trump on his brother's running of the nation during 9/11 and the consequences, but many jumped to Bush's side. Bush stated that Trump was a joke and didn't take him seriously as other established GOP candidates. He criticized Trump's immigration policy with the wall and thought he would gain favor with Latino voters because of being Florida Governor, speaking Spanish, and the fact that his wife was Hispanic. Nope, failed. Trump blasted him as low energy and attacked his relationship with Marco Rubio which created a rift between them. Meanwhile, Trump's numbers just kept rising as the top non-establishment candidate who was self-funded. Bush was criticized for taking Super PAC money and he failed to capitalize on it with attack ads. The debates put Trump up front and when other rivals gained, Bush was not one of them. Carson, Fiorina, Rubio, and Cruz have surged. At one time Carson and Trump were tied, but Carson sank himself over wild statements over Muslims for President, his invented tough guy childhood, and other fantasy world assertions. Bush barely was in low double digits and did not capitalize in the debates. Trump hit Bush with low energy repeatedly and Rubio with his sweating. In the second debate Bush turned on Rubio over his senatorial duties and that hurt him as mentor and friend. Apparently, Latinos didn't like that either. So, a drop to single digit 8% and no matter how much money he has raised and bragged about, Bush is down to 3-4%. Carson dropped to single digits as well while Rubio and Cruz rose. It doesn't matter about his family at this point. Voters have rejected all the Conservative candidates which have Govt experience. Trump is riding high on Anti-establishment and the fact that he isn't bought by lobbyists and special interests. His staying power no matter what he says has baffled all critics and it is almost January 2016. His numbers have jumped into the high 30s which in a two man race would put him at over 50% easily. The DEMs have just Sanders and Hillary, and she isn't guaranteed the nomination. Hillary's numbers have been up and down as she has had to fight off her E-mail scandal accusers and her Benghazi actions which have labeled her a liar. Sanders draws consistently larger crowds and has been within the margin of error several times. But perhaps he goofed when he labeled himself a socialist. Clinton is still trying to distance herself from Obama's failed policies while still using her genitalia to attract female voters. Her voting record and scandals are her liabilities. And Sanders appeals to all the Anti-establishment DEMs for the Left. I wouldn't write him off as of yet. But Bush seems destined for failure on his own. He can't seem to gain momentum and no one knows what his message is for America. Cruz and Rubio are more likely to challenge Trump on Conservatism than Bush and be believed! The current numbers reflect this. So forget about the family connection. Bush is a dud on his own. Failure to connect with both the Right and American undecided voters. Trump's base is solid.
Callmelennie - December 09, 2015 - Report this comment
I agree with Michael that the Bush name is toxic because it would allow The Clintons to automatically turn the election into a comparison of their years and the Bush years. On the other hand, what is the point of Jeb? The guy emits about as many sparks as a used AAA battery.
John Chancellor - December 09, 2015 - Report this comment
Rob writes, "[Trump's] staying power no matter what he says has baffled all critics and it is almost January 2016." No, it is almost January 1933!

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