[ominous guitar intro]

My thumb got bit in a pie
Listen up and I'll tell you why
Let Dave Crosby cook for us guys
Was a huge mistake, was not wise

'Cause my thumb got bit
in Crosby's pie
Cooked while blackbirds still alive

Shoulda known something's wrong
But that night
I really was stoned
Young said, "Hey, Steve try some pie"
So I stuck my thumb in; it got bit
and I whined

I said
"Ouch"
Yeah, I said "Ow"
I got bit and then I howled

Left me squealing like a beast
I said "OW, Damn; those birds aren't deceased"
Bit my thumb
and then caused me to whine
Crosby just stood there and he smiled

He said
"Hey, Steve
Dude, stay alert
those birds bite and it sure hurts"

That annoyed me, yeah, I freaked
I was so riled up, man, I shrieked
"What the f*ck is with you now, Dave?"
Then Crosby smiled
said, "Man, you should chill out", I raved

"This better stop
man
stop this now"
Dave replied
"Don't have a cow"

Blew my top
man
yelled real loud
"Crosby, your cooking's really foul

It's glop
you can't hold it down
taste it
I guarantee you'll frown

[out to fade]
toss it out
yeah
throw it out..."