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Song Parodies -> "Hate Crimes"

Original Song Title:

"Word Crimes"

Original Performer:

Weird Al Yankovic

Parody Song Title:

"Hate Crimes"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Everyone, hands up!
Everybody's all fired up!
Slain, slain, slain
Pain, pain, pain
In the street... he lay

Michael Brown was 18 that Saturday
Robbed a store, on MJ... he strayed
Cruiser showed up real fast
Racist cop, racist mind
Another brother had to die this time

No way, is this for real?
Another eradication?
Gonna familiarize
You with some PO training
You'll learn that situations
Involving Blacks mean killings
And that cops are willing
To commit another heinous

Hate crime,
It doesn't matter
Down went the hammer
Community's shattered
They should know when
It's "justified" or it's just more "lies"
Black men are always
profiled, killed, then villified

Blacks resent these hate crimes
Officer careless
With few Black lives spared
Few tasered cripples
He shot him right down
Daylight showdown
Wounded with his head down
Bullets to the eye and head crown

Say you got the FPO
Followed by catastrophe, "death"
Now what does that mean?
You would not use "death" in this case,
It was aggressive
It's a wrong reaction
Excessive force action
Well, it's the shortening of a life, with a bunch of rounds, and the omission of hands up or surrender

Okay, now here's some notes
In the old days there were hangings
Police in Klansmen roles
But now a SIG is banging
Historical, endless racial saga
Nobody really wants to
Acknowledge racial progress (Obama)
Blacks keep in mind

That "Gs," "Homies," "Hoodies" and "crews" (Black youths)
Aren't peeps, but Niggas
Cops are haters
Who never waver
When shooting N-ggers
Colored on their hit lists

Blacks resent these hate crimes
The really need a
Federal protector
To check police behavior
'Cause, when under fire
Black lives extinguised
Their futures finished
Which causes anguish

One thing Blacks will remind you
Time to improve race relations is long overdue
Learn to “talk down” a suspect too
Listen to the words “DO NOT SHOOT!”
Hands up = compliant truth
And listen up when they tell you this
Shooting an unarmed Black youth gets Black folks pissed
Protesters do parade,
Yeah, they're mad as hell
Standin' at the place where Michael Brown fell
Black protesters a difference?
MILSWAT arms a coincidence???
And they thought that you'd gotten it in your head
That you don't always have to shoot a Black kid dead
Oh but, just now, you said
Racist police comments caught on CNN
That really makes them want to literally smack a 2x4 upside your stupid heads

They've read few details
Nothing transparent
The (Police) account is errant
Chief belligerent
Then that audio release
“Josie” was fantastic
That was sarcastic
Scripted, to make Mike look nasty

Blacks resent these hate crimes
Cop story phoney
Think Whites are only
Working with cronies
Oh, it's a lost cause,
Hey, hey, hey
Delays are NOT cool
Hey, hey, hey
FPD is a cesspool
Hey, hey hey
Black folks are not fooled

Never mind, Blacks give up
They won't get that cop
Slain, slain, slain
Pain, pain, pain
Blown away!!!
No indictment, then hell to pay...

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   10

User Comments

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No Knee Jerk - August 22, 2014 - Report this comment
There's virtually no real evidence. Just conflicting eyewitness reports -- one by the convicted liar Brady. Racial distrust all around. Best if you hold your fire, lest you fan the flames. One thing: Michael did not deserve to die for his behavior at the hands of a white PD in a Black suburb, although the convenience store video shows that the supersized kid needed to be taken off the streets for the sake of public safety.
@No Knee Jerk - August 22, 2014 - Report this comment
Right you are, NKJ. CNN plays tearful interviews with Michael's parents. We feel their grief. But they reared a son who was a petty thief and a bully and a kid who wasn't wary enough of a racist, 95% white police force. Nobody did the right thing.
Agrimorfee - August 22, 2014 - Report this comment
You will be surprised to hear me say this: I liked it. Great even-handed commentary, I grokked everything you were going for in it.
Lib-tionary - August 22, 2014 - Report this comment
Racist White Cop -- any police officer with a spotless record who decides to shoot an onrushing 6'4", 300 lb law breaking African American man who has already broken said officer's left eye socket with one punch, leaving said officer partially blind -- on the completely bigoted premise that the 300 lb black man poses a threat to said officer's life.
Rob Arndt - August 22, 2014 - Report this comment
Police train to use their pistols as LAST RESORT when the Officer is in imminent danger of losing his life. Attacking Brown's character and physical features is NO EXCUSE for DW having his pistol leveled as soon as he exited his cruiser and began firing a total of 6 shots at an UNARMED BLACK YOUTH! Brown's head was definately down as the last 2 rounds struck his head and eye, downward bullet travel in the latter case. Anyway, MB didn't deserve to die for ripping off a convenience store OR any confrontation with DW. If he had his hands up, then that's even worse. That cop MURDERED Michael Brown b/c he DID NOT follow standard police procedure. MB initially fled, stopped, and faced the Officer (while already shot). The only steps he took were two before falling over dead. There is NO PROOF that he "rushed" DW at all. No powder burns= distance shooting which IS evidence that Brown was not near the Officer. The distance between the cruiser and DW and MB prove that MB fled and that DW pursued and shot him dead. The initial autopsy proves MB was facing forward with head down when the fatal shot got him. And most importantly MB was UNARMED. No excuse for DW to let off 6+ rounds no matter what happened at the cruiser. Same for the MILSWAT police that leveled semi-automatic rifles and shotguns at protesters as a first resort for crowd control. CNN has the proof of definate racism frame- by- frame and the racist comments by St. Louis, FPD, and even National Guard troops commenting on N-gger behavior. So how am I fanning the flames???
No Knee Jerk - August 22, 2014 - Report this comment
You are fanning the flames by relying on the testimony to media of witnesses who are unreliable at best and of dubious character at worst -- like Brown's friend. Then you are bolstering the case against DW with ad hoc interpretations of autopsy reports. The police department has not filed a report. The gathering of evidence is ongoing. Toxicology results are pending. This is no time for a rash armchair prosecutor. Hold your fire.
Rob Arndt - August 22, 2014 - Report this comment
I am going off forensics and distance shooting as well as overtly excessive force for an UNARMED MAN no matter what MB did. He did NOT deserve to die with 6 rounds in him. You are basing YOUR info on third hand Josie rehearsed testimony of MB rushing the officer and so he had a right to use lethal force. You call Brady a liar when he is in perfect range of the shooting and the autopsy report shows MB in a head down position for the last 2 shots. The exit from the eye is downward. You ignore facts and no powder burns on the skin= distance from DW and DW was distanced from his cruiser which began this incident= total 30-35 ft away from the cruiser which isn't even in sight with the video recordings from witnesses. You cannot ignore that or the fact that DW came out firing when the suspect was fleeing, HIS back towards the officer. He was hit or grazed and turned around wounded and did NOT charge but stepped a few steps to fall over as the majority of the testimonials claim. He fell flat on his face and was not even picked up until over 4 hrs later!!! No one would do that for a dead dog in this day. FPD has a long history of racism and oppression in their community and the facts I laid out over use of MILSWAT against largely peaceful protesters and racist langusge caught by CNN is completely ignored by you. It seems that YOU are biased and are already seeking for the officer to go back to work after committing murder of an UNARMED BLACK YOUTH. Even if he were White, there is NO EXCUSE to fire 6+ rounds at distance when the perpetrator is both injured and unarmed with his hands possibly up in the air for surrender (4 wounds as proof). Even if he robbed that store, was on marijuana, and assaulted the cop at the cruiser, once he fled and stopped, turned around... no excuse for DW to KEEP ON FIRING. It is against Police protocols and is beyond excessive. What part of beyond excessive do you not understand??? DW executed MB and is being coached on what to say and then we have a _third party_ leak of his supposed testimony. If he is honest, why doesn't he testify himself or make a statement to the press? As for unreliable witnesses, you should count "Josie" as the most unreliable of all. Third hand doesn't trump first hand anyday and FPD has a record of oppressing Black Ferguson residents as witnessed on camera with the military equipment aimed directly at them as if this was Iraq or Afghanistan. You can NEVER level assault weapons, sniper rifles, and tac shotguns at a peaceful crowd w/o the reasonable fear of a massacre happening if something goes wrong. Riot police are supposed to have helmets with face masks, gas masks, simple body armor vests, a shield and baton as standard gear. Not assault rifles, tac shotguns, armored infantry vehicles, MRAPS, flash bangs, tear gas, helicopter support, K-9 units, and wearing cammo instead of blue. Cammo is for the military and hunters! Is this the WTO attack against White Anarchists or South Korean students hurling bricks, rocks, and trash cans against riot police? NO!!! This is America and people have the right to assemble and protest w/o facing a police ARMY. How lame can you be??? Seriously??? Your response shows that you know nothing of police training, protocols, and proportionate response. Now go away, you armchair apologist.
Rob Arndt - August 22, 2014 - Report this comment
Btw, there have been gunslingers in the Old West that used fewer rounds than Darren Wilson to bring someone down!!! I wanna know how many TOTAL rounds he fired besides the SIX in MB, given he had a 15+1 semi-auto and MB had NOTHING!!!
WCJ/TMJ - August 22, 2014 - Report this comment
Your parody just gave me an idea for another parody, from D.J. Jazzy Jeff, Thanks Rob!! Oh, and hello again! 😃 The Mighty Jin Here! Just came swinging on by on a vine, and happened to catch this great parody about an awful topic that even I despise and have had, and could have another go at myself with "PIGS!!." HATE EM’!! But, correct! no one be god, over anyone’s life, but the one that the "''REAL GOD''" we all know 😉 gives to us, and then we are…. So, if me Jin read your song words correctly, then this "MAN!" (referring to "white pig" ’no offense on the 'white!') was guilty of a "little, bitty, teensy, weeny, black and white, murder-one-o-meanie!!." 😆 But a very, very, great Weird Al takeoff, Rob, 5-"Shooting" Stars, and a medal of gold! 😃
Jonathan - August 22, 2014 - Report this comment
Imma just stay out of this coversation... 455
No Knee Jerk - August 22, 2014 - Report this comment
Rob, in your hysteria you obviously did not read my two comments. I counseled forbearance until the evidence is all in lest you play your small part in stirring up an unruly mob and poisoning the jury pool. What's wrong with waiting to see if there's any evidence of Brown's DNA on the weapon? Or if clothing fibers were swapped between DW and Brown? You write "I wanna know how many TOTAL rounds he fired besides the SIX in MB, given he had a 15+1 semi-auto..." Ah, so you want ALL the evidence. Well, so do all responsible people.

I specifically said "Michael did not deserve to die for his behavior at the hands of a white PD in a Black suburb." You accuse me of basing my "information" on the third-hand testimony of Josie. You accuse me of bias and wanting the police officer to go back to work. You accuse me of knowing nothing about police protocol. Where the hell did you get all that from? It's not even implied in my writing! My comments indicate that I respect the American concept of being innocent until proved guilty. You, on the other hand, are dangerously close to committing verbal lynching.

You demand of me nothing less than sharing your seething knee jerk indignity. You are off the rails. You think you know all the facts you need. You don't know any facts but what you are fed by Don Lemon and Jake Tapper. I understand perfectly well that there are virulent racists in the Ferguson PD, as their are virulent racists all throughout the "community." I know very well that police departments everywhere possess military hardware supplied by the Pentagon with congressional approval.

You apparently have nothing to do but sit around all day watching the "experts" on CNN opining on crime scenarios. Then you come on this site and parrot their theories as if they were holy writ. You're being suckered by the sensationalist cable news.

Go back to watching cartoons. Better yet, get a job!
Rob Arndt - August 22, 2014 - Report this comment
Unlike you and the other racists here that hide under false S/Ns, I KNOW law enforcement and military as well. There is standing evidence that Darren Wilson broke with his training and police protocols in opening fire on a fleeing non-wanted unarmed Black youth and then executed him at 35 ft from his cruiser while the victim faced front and was falling over as evidenced by the head wounds with downward bullet trajectory. That matches witness testimonies (plural) that you try to character assassinate. SIX ROUNDS OR MORE IS UNJUSTIFIED NO MATTER WHAT BROWN DID AT THE CONVENIENCE STORE OR TO THE OFFICER WHILE IN HIS CRUISER. HE DIDN'T HAVE TO DIE AT 18. IF IT WAS A WHITE KID THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE PLAYED OUT AS IT DID- FACT. Again, you show absolute ignorance of police training and protocols and what overkill (no pun intended) is. I know what the police can and cannot do and so should you. You also ignore the MILSWAT gear the police used in confronting largely peaceful protesters exercising their rights. CNN has all of that videoptaped of the assault rifles, tac shotguns, sniper rifles, and pistols leveled at unarmed civilians. Throwing a water bottle does not required that type of gear, but of course you've never worn threat level vests or wielded any of those weapons. I HAVE and know that in that case it was wrong with a capital W. Please do not tell me of parroting CNN. I have the most experience on this site with weapons, MILTECH, and fully understand police procedure. So who are you to me? No one. Just another racist commentator that wants the dirty white cop exonerated by corrupt, racist FPD, an unwanted prosecutor connected to law enforcement for generations, and a do-nothing apologetic Governor. Thank God the Feds are there for the civil case that will follow. I am not suckered by anyone, especially third party tales rehearsed by "Josie." Where is the statement by Darren Wilson? It's been almost 2 weeks later...
Rob Arndt - August 22, 2014 - Report this comment
On a positive note, hey WCJ/TMJ... WHEN are you coming back??? Been waiting for some new MJ and JJ parodies. Please come back, we miss you :)
Rob Arndt - August 22, 2014 - Report this comment
NKJ, let me translate for you: YOU don't know what you are talking about and cannot refute what I stated. You might not even be from the USA so that makes any of your views on our police and the corrupt judicial system invalid. If from the US, you are a Caucasian racist b/c you want time for the facts that in reality are needed for FPD and DW to cover their tracks and rehearse a false rendering of the facts of what happened 2 weeks ago. You have no empathy for the family of MB nor the Black Ferguson community that is fed up with oppression and which demands justice expeditiously with a special prosecutor that can be trusted. You character assassinate MB and all witnesses for MB while believing in the suspicious third hand report of some "Josie" character that claims to speak for DW. You blatantly ignore DW's breaking of police protocols for lethal force, the autopsy report by an expert in the field, and the factual MILSWAT gear and armor used to suppress the Black community in Ferguson, weapons leveled as first response. If this were Iraq or Afghanistan, then they could have massacred those people and the journalists. Can't you see the ISIS protests signs they carry? "ISIS Lives Here" says it all. Your ignorance is astounding and when you cannot answer you try to evade by name-calling. Let's see... fascist? No historian. Racist? No, am on the minority side seeking justice. A religious fanatic? Nope, just not into atheism which btw IS a religion in itself- a strong belief system against a deity that is organized and funded with an agenda (see the movie "God's Not Dead"). A TV addict? A viewer with a diverse line up. And a numbers worshipper? Nope, just productive like JAB. Now what have you got to say for yourself? Everything you've written tells us more about you than me. Now run along and try to write some parodies instead of spamming the comments page!!!
No Knee Jerk - August 23, 2014 - Report this comment
Why don't you try actually reading my comments? You keep railing against things I never wrote or implied. You want me to write on your terms and get down in the weeds about autopsies, bullet trajectories, distances, etc. I will not, for precisely the reason my comments explain: it is premature and possibly compromises the legal process. I have a common-sense message that you mangle: Wait for the evidence. You extrapolate that to mean, among other outlandish things, that I believe "the suspicious third hand report of some 'Josie' character." What recess of your fevered brain does that come from? You have a canned story, right or wrong, about Ferguson, and you're determined to twist my words, and make me your phantom opponent, so that you can tell it. Each time I successfully suck you into a prolix diatribe, you display your dysfunctional behavior more and more.
Brian Kelly - August 23, 2014 - Report this comment
I'm not joining in the political discussion as it's way too heated, but I do need to ask the writer something: are you aware you did a parody of a parody?
Rob Arndt - August 23, 2014 - Report this comment
@ Brian K, yeah, from "Blurred Lines" originally and then parodied by Bart Baker and now Weird Al. I have 103 PoPs (Parody-of-Parodies) here of artists and other AiR parodists! @NKJ, all your trivial posts are now reduced to non-effectual and immature insults, which makes you a troll, and a petty one at that. You have demonstrated many times that you are incapable of debating in a logical manner and yet return to this thread repeatedly, accomplishing nothing. Btw, your fear of firearms, motorcycles, occult research, and history is baffling. All knowledge is good and Americans have lots of guns and bikes and watch TV too! Your attempt to label me has failed, especially since I coordinate in my church which involves 100s of people, many of whom I know and interact with weekly. I am sick and older now, but you confuse my productivity with isolation. This is a hobby to me and I largely write at night before going to bed. AiR is not my life, but seems to be yours! And your sexual deduction is not only off but creepy. Who brings that up here? Seriously? Also, by your tone and language and the comments page chronology of posts, I have to ask... is this Meriadoc? You sure sound like her, which is sad. Btw, "The Lonely Guy" was a movie with Steve Martin a long time ago. I guess since you don't watch TV or movies that even your refs are outdated. I suggest that you actually take a firearms course and motorcycle course to understand these things before mouthing off about them. And learning something new is always a good thing. I certainly have educated many people on this site about a wide range of topics. What have you done? Just criticize which takes no effort at all and is unproductive. NFR
Tom Freberg - August 24, 2014 - Report this comment
sad to see a site so full of humor dominated by one idiot"s hatred
@Tom Freberg - August 24, 2014 - Report this comment
Right! And he doesn't give a damn about pacing, either.
Brandon Reina - August 09, 2015 - Report this comment
I did my own version of "Word Crimes" which is "Pet Shop Crimes" in which the Beagle Boys steal Blythe Baxter's handmade fashions from Littlest Pet Shop, enabling SheZow to track them down. The Beagle Boys - DuckTales (Disney) Blythe Baxter - Littlest Pet Shop (Hasbro) SheZow - SheZow (Ragdoll Productions)

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