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Song Parodies -> "Feel His Quills"

Original Song Title:

"Feel It Still"

Original Performer:

Portugal. The Man

Parody Song Title:

"Feel His Quills"

Parody Written by:

Matthias

The Lyrics

This is for Peter Andersson's ONE WEEK NOTICE challenge (Week 12) hosted once again by me, Matthias! Warning to all people camping... Don't try this at home (or in the woods)...
Can't keep my hands to myself
The park ranger scoffs
Grizzly bear's making me yelp
I'm out here hugging all the squirrels as I please
Why did Fozzy make me his meal?!

Woo-wee, Stroked an eagle and got nicked, Yow!
Hate this stinking itch cause I'm covered in ticks now
Porcupine went "Pow!" as I feel his quills

Woo-wee, Ran through nettles and I tripped now
Catching crickets with my rapid kung-fu grip, Wow!
I'm shark chowder "Ouch!" As I feel his gills

Snatched another mouse in reach
Petting all these fuzzy critters, Pumas made me so bitter
Ranger tells me to leave
Since that cougar made my skin peal

Woo-wee, Tried to cuddle with a skunk now
Mr. Stinky's pissed, He's angry as a drunk now
Think my mind's unwell since I really smell

Woo-wee, In a scuffle with a hick now
Since that chicken was that dumb redneck's side-chick now
Grabbed a gopher gal made my blood spill

Heard: "You'll get a wart you freak!"
(Woo-wee, There's an otter in my fist, Now!)
Rattlesnakes are busy hissing
I'll cry when I grope those sheep
I'm crazy with strange tendencies
Wanna play but I'm just mauled by snouts
(Woo-wee, Gave that beaver a huge kiss, Now!)
That swine won't stop it's wriggle and it gives me the giggles
I'm... gonna... crawl... through fallen leaves...

Ducks are ducking
Fawns are fawning
Dogs are dogging
Hogs are hogging
Frogs are frogging
Swear I'm not on crack!

Woo-wee, Jumped a rabbit in the sticks, Yeah!
No gloves since it's my bliss to find out if he has Trix now
Won't pet polar bears cause they aren't that chill

Woo-wee, Tossed a badger in the mix now
I've been feeling tits but those birds went and flipped out
Hopped a boulder now and ran up that hill

Woo-wee, Gave that camper a swift kick, Clunk!
Wrecked their picnic since I wanna catch a chipmunk
Swear I'm sober now but it's such a thrill
Might go catch some krill with my ninja skills


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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   1
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 4   0
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 5   5
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - November 17, 2017 - Report this comment
You and Al Franken...I think you know what i mean...that was bizarre.
Matthias - November 17, 2017 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee... I actually DON'T know what you mean... Is he into beastiality or something???
Peter Andersson - November 17, 2017 - Report this comment
I'm guessing Agrimorfee is refering to the "I've been feeling tits" line and current news (that has made it over here too, apparently he's a serial groper or something). Good job here, as predicted some overlap with my forest adventures - we both ran into hills, hicks and giggles.
Claude Prez - November 17, 2017 - Report this comment
Fun stuff Matthias! Especially liked the chipmunk rhyme, plus the phrase "kung-fu grip" always makes me laugh. Also, I "gave that beaver a huge kiss" as well so there is that...
Below Average Dave - November 17, 2017 - Report this comment
I'm curious--what forest did you go to that happened to have an ocean with sharks in it. . .You learned nothing from all my animal parodies--you can't trust them, they will hurt you! Porcupines are not friendly creatures-but they are cute.
Jeff Reuben - November 18, 2017 - Report this comment
I'm picturing a video with you as Skipper Dan running through the woods (now) enduring everything in your song. I've been on several camping trips with lakes, so that helps the sharks fit in for me. Sharks with friction laser beams on their heads :)
Matthias - November 18, 2017 - Report this comment
There are some forests near oceans such as Maine or on the shoreline of Canada. I think some places in upper California are forested as well. Thanks everybody!

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