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Song Parodies -> "You're Divorcing Me"

Original Song Title:

"Cooler Than Me"

Original Performer:

Mike Posner

Parody Song Title:

"You're Divorcing Me"

Parody Written by:

Rebekah Dub

The Lyrics

The Kardashian-Humphries divorce in Kris Humphries's POV.
If I was a songwriter I’d try to write a song
In an attempt to convince you to stay with me
I had hope for our future, wanted little Humphries
But we won’t get to now because you’re divorcing me

You got Kourtney and Khloe
Your mom and step-dad
And your reality show, what’s it called again?
Oh, that’s right! Keeping Up With the Kardashians,
And I’ll be left penniless after the divorce

You’ve got paparazzi everywhere
And they camp around the house every week
And you don’t know how it makes me feel
I shower at midnight now

(Psh!) That headdress looked banal on
You; what were you thinking when you wore it?
What were you thinking when you announced
We’re getting divorced via a gossip website?

If I was a songwriter I’d try to write a song
In an attempt to convince you to stay with me
I had hope for our future, wanted little Humphries
But we won’t get to now because you’re divorcing me

You’ve got a doppelganger
Who does commercials
For Old Navy, which makes me jealous ‘cause I don’t
Have a doppelganger to call my own, and
The gossip magazines make me sound like a douche

Due to persistent rumors that our
Brief marriage was going south so quickly
Oh, you don’t know how tacky you look
When you seek publicity

(Psh!) I should have suspected that
Our wedding was a publicity stunt
But you insist that you didn’t make a
Dime off our wedding, not a cent from our wedding

‘Cause it sure seems you have some doubts
Despite your claims that you married me for love

If I was a songwriter I’d try to write a song
In an attempt to convince you to stay with me
I had hope for our future, wanted little Humphries
But we won’t get to now because you’re divorcing me

You got Kourtney and Khloe
Your mom and step-dad
And your reality show, what’s it called again?
Oh, that’s right! Keeping Up With the Kardashians,
And I’ll be left penniless after the divorce
I don't know Kris Humphries personally, but I can only imagine how he must feel after getting blindsided by Kim Kardashian.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   1
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   2
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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - November 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Their marriage seemed like a stunt, didn't it??? When I saw them together it just didn't feel real. She looked happy- him, less so. Creative song-555!!!
Rebekah Dub - November 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Yeah. They're one more couple to succumb to the sham that is Hollywood marriage. It's sad. Glad you enjoyed the song. I, too, have been on the receiving end of a blindside breakup. They suck.

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