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Song Parodies -> "The SS (Extended Version)"

Original Song Title:

"Facing Death"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"The SS (Extended Version)"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Due to the long chronology of the SS, I had to extend this parody quite a bit to get to the end. It was impossible to cover all the facets of the Allgemeine and Waffen SS and only brief mention of the Black Sun religious order, the SD, and SS E-IV technical branch. The SS also controlled the Gestapo, had RuSha (Race and Resettlement), and many other ties to the occult like the Ahnenerbe. What I tried to do was move through the SA to the early Allgemeine and Waffen SS through the years. The chorus asks if there really was any distinction between the two. The Waffen SS will say yes but in scale of war crimes in the death camps and in the field against innocent civilians and unarmed captured soldiers, there really is none. Cold-blooded murder is the same whether you use labor, Zyklon B gas, torture, or with armament like guns, bombs, flame throwers, tanks, mobile gas vans, etc... I think you get my point here.
Here we go…
‘Nother history lesson…

It was early in
Nazi political history
Hitler’s Sturm Abteilung (SA)
Violent ‘Brown Shirt” thuggery
They roamed the streets
Beatin’ Communists,
Columnists, any enemy
with an strong Iron Fist

Hitler got nervous in ‘34
So he purged them, he was ruthless
Replaced them formidably
With his elite body guard SS
Meine Ehre Heisst Treue (My honor is loyalty)
First order of business?
Oppressing and killing Jews

This was the Allgemeine (General) SS
Ran the concentration camps
Meanwhile the “asphalt soldiers”
15,000 strong became the Waffen SS
The German Army (Heer)
Resented competition
They fought for every new recruit
Waffen SS in a difficult situation

Allgemeine or Waffen SS
What really was the difference?
They both committed war crimes
In death camps or against armed resistance

Outbreak of the war in ‘39
Waffen SS in Poland
Subordinate to the Heer
Were given out-dated weapons- to foil them
But they succeeded in fierce battles
Assault tactics considered reckless and suicidal
Gained them proper respect,
Einsatzkommandos soon to follow

Administration decision in ‘41
Made no distinction between Waffen or Allgemeine
So Waffen SS were unaware
That they were forever linked to genocidal crime
Although war crimes
in the field intensified
The Waffen SS
Had no idea of linked Allgemeine crimes

It was mid-war and they acquired
So many Slavic prisoners
They could not process them all
So most starved while others became slave laborers
It became difficult
To separate battle from civilian murder
Retaliations occurred frequently
For killings of German soldiers

Allgemeine or Waffen SS
What really was the difference?
They both committed war crimes
In death camps or against armed resistance

Then came the Ghetto in ‘43
Systematic destruction
Tens of thousands captured
Many shipped to death camps per instruction
War was turning
More SS divisions
With the attempt on Hitler’s life in ‘44
Waffen SS now got the best weapons

The German Army in ‘45
Was now in competition to the last
SS elite status and Racial Purity
Were now a thing of the past
Himmler ran a religious Black Sun Order
And the SS had internal security- the SD
A secret Technical Branch E-IV too
That explored occult advanced technology

Himmler viewed himself
As an old Drighten Warlord
Wanted to replace Hitler
Move war production into his underground world
Speer couldn’t touch him
He refused the demand for materials and manpower
The SS had become
A State-within-a-State under Himmler and Kammler

Allgemeine or Waffen SS
What really was the difference?
They both committed war crimes
In death camps or against armed resistance

Kammler took over all
German secret weapons production
From missiles to jets
To nerve gases and synthetic oil production
The war was coming to a close
The Waffen SS was trying to hold the lines
While Himmler was trying to negotiate surrender
Kammler was (aboard a Ju-390) with a machine that could bend time!

In the end, the SS organization was a mess
Declared illegal, they were placed under arrest
At Nuremberg Trials
All condemned as terrorists
Himmler cheated the hangman
Killed himself with cyanide
Kammler disappeared off the face of the earth
To South America to hide
(or made a deal with the US for technology bribe)

Murderers are murderers
No matter what the uniform
Allgemeine and Waffen SS
Killed in many forms
Death camps worked Jews to death
Many were even gassed
In the field Einsatzkommandos killed
With mobile gas vans, fires, and blasts

Allgemeine or Waffen SS
What really was the difference?
They both committed war crimes
In death camps or against armed resistance

In the camps 6 million Jews died
In the field tens of millions
Didn’t matter if they were enemies in uniforms
Or just “sub-human” civilians
One has to ask the question
Who really ran the Reich?
Hitler, Germany of course
But the “Empire” under Himmler’s SS ran tight

Allgemeine or Waffen SS
What really is the difference?
They both committed war crimes
In death camps or against armed resistance

Some of Hexen's closing lyrics I omitted for space and did not repeat the closing chorus over and over either. The machine that could bend time was Die Glocke (The mysterious Bell Device)- a Zeitmaschine (Time Machine using EM torsion field, used an entire powerplant for energy- unknown results but lots of deaths)!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 4   0
 5   4

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WCJ - August 15, 2011 - Report this comment
As long as the heart does not beat, and the lungs make no breath, hence anyone shall can that death! ;-) Great parody Rob! 5's! :-)
WCJ - August 15, 2011 - Report this comment
it should be "shall call" not "shall can" I apologize for that! :-(

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