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Song Parodies -> "Bruno Mars' Ex-Girlfriend's Song"

Original Song Title:

"Grenade"

Original Performer:

Bruno Mars

Parody Song Title:

"Bruno Mars' Ex-Girlfriend's Song"

Parody Written by:

Wendy Christopher

The Lyrics

This parody relies on two premises: a) that the ex in question was a Paris Hilton-esque clone, and b) that SHE had the Big Strop In Song before HE did.

Oh - and here's a link to the OS.
Well okay, for today
You can be my guy
I’m rich, spoilt, sexy, cool, standards kinda high
You should know I am never easy to please
Keep your wallet open
Just keep it open

God I look so fine but all you can do is whine
You need more of a sign from me
Just tell you I love you and prove I mean it too
Yeah, well – whatever! Let’s see…

I would get my tan sprayed for you
Drink non-diet lemonade for you
I would cut down on my snacks for you
Get a Brazilian wax for you … oooohhh!
I would go through all that pain
‘Cause I’m shallow and kind of vain
But I’m a catch and I’m loaded
So don’t you dare complain…. No no no nooooo….

You try, I can’t lie
Buy me jewel’ry
But it’s from some crappy market stall and not from Tiffany
I’m flipping – “You tripping?” Made you take it back
No you can’t ride with me in my new pink Cadillac

Then you get all sad and you say I treat you bad
Complaining you’ve had all you can take
You ask me for the earth but jeez, for what it’s worth
Here’s… sacrifices I’ll make:

I’ll stop dissing you in my Blog
Spend less time with my handbag dog
Let you see me without make-up on
(With the lights off and the curtains drawn)
Ohhh…. I would go through all that hell
If you promise that you won’t tell
My reputation’s at stake here
My social life as well

Well you know I traded down, boy
Ooooh, ‘cause that’s what I had to do
You’re just the pond life in this town, boy
And I’m really, truly, far too good for you

But hey I still piss my life away for you
Try to brighten your day for you
‘Cause just by letting you be with me
I’m contributing to charity… oooohhhhh
I’d be glad I’ve scratched that itch
If I wasn’t such a mean bitch
So write a song all about me
Then maybe you’ll get rich

Yeah, off an airhead bitch….
‘Cause I’m already rich….
Ooooh, with just a touch of kitsch….
Yeah yeah yeaaahh yeah…

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 5   4
 4
 4
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - August 30, 2011 - Report this comment
Very Nice- 555!!!
Skyfox - August 31, 2011 - Report this comment
This sounds like you are jealous and mean-spirited. Not nice at all, so low marks for you.
Wendy Christopher - August 31, 2011 - Report this comment
@Skyfox: LOL, whaaat...? Did you not read the bit at the top? It's not supposed to be ME singing all of this! The whole idea of HIS song is that the woman he's singing about was horrible to him... wouldn't it have made HIM seem like a bit of a scumbag if I'd written it as if she was a sweetheart? And look at the last line of the last chorus - "So write a song all about me/Then maybe you'll get rich" And that's exactly what he did - so he got the last laugh on her in the end, didn't he? Actually, I don't even know why I'm explaining this, you are of course perfectly entitled to hate this song if you wish... I suppose I just feel you may have missed the point of it a bit :^)

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