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Song Parodies -> "Nazi Astronauts"

Original Song Title:

"The Equestranauts"

Original Performer:

Bob's Burgers TV Show

Parody Song Title:

"Nazi Astronauts"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Before there ever were Cosmonauts or Astronauts or even Taikonauts, the Nazis had a space program during WW2 under the SS Technical Branch. The Draeger Werke made the first space suits in 1942 ( one of which is on display in the German Museum) and they pioneered disc aircraft separate from the RLM (Reich Air Ministry). In declassified documents a word associated with space travel keeps showing up- Raumjaeger which translates as Space Hunter. It is an SS term associated with piloted disc craft capable of leaving the atmosphere. At Peenemunde, von Braun also had a group EMW working on piloted V-2s (led to the X-15) and had his own designs for spacecraft, large space rockets, and orbital circular space stations. The Russians stole the latter German space suits, developed cluster rockets from German types, and got satellite information from them. The first pictures of earth are from a captured payload V-2 launched by the US in 1946. Britain had a plan for a man-carrying V-2, but dropped it. So much of postwar space history is falsified. It appears the Germans were in space first and built the first space ship Andromeda Gerat. One of two was captured. The other launched and was never seen again- destination Aldebaran, 64 light years away!
First designed spaceship,
operators in spacesuits,
Huge secret disc craft,
EMG engines of class Haunebu
Vrils with ANGRAV lifts
Flying high above the sky
Nazi flaming chariots
More advanced than jet flight
Nazi astronauts, called Raumjaeger
Nazi astronauts, in suits made by Draeger
Celestial navigators
Nazi astronauts
Before Cosmonauts...
First man-made object in space was the V-2, not Sputnik! And US engineers fitted a V-2 with a cannon to fire iron balls into space to observe re-entry patterns! Oh yeah, and the Space Shuttle and Dyna Soar were based on the postwar 1960s Junkers RT-08 space system proposal. Go look that up!

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Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 11

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Patrick - November 21, 2016 - Report this comment
Isn't the word for "space travel" "Raumfahrt"? Which is why air fresheners were first developed by the SS. I have been perusing a book "Luftwaffe Over America". It discusses the difficulties in producing an airplane capable of reaching Manhattan and returning safe to some occupied country in Europe. Seems like most of the effort went into single half-finished prototypes that never flew. I don't think this book even mentions stories that I have read elsewhere of a LW bomber that came withing a few miles of the US coast. The Japanese did manage to drop a small bomb or two in a forest from a small fold-up plane launched from a submarine. The Nazi-originated space program really took off when the Russians and the US provided the funds and space to work on it.
John Lomain - November 21, 2016 - Report this comment
Rob Arndt - November 21, 2016 - Report this comment
Patrick, Heinkel was out of favor with Goering, so no true 4 engine bomber for Germany until the unfinished He-274 in France. Heinkel cheated with the He-277, Junkers was building the Ju-488, and Messerschmitt had built two Me-264 Amerika bombers that were destroyed in a bombing raid. The reputed plane that came within 10 miles of NYC was a Ju-390 6 engined transport converted to recon. The Bv-222 giant flying boat could reach anywhere provided that submarines refueled it at sea because it took diesel. That was Hitler's designated escape plane Bauer was to pilot. But Peter Baumgart got him out using the Hohenzollerndamm makeshift airstrip running from the Brandenburg Gate to the Victory Column in a Ju-52 on April 29th. While "Luftwaffe Over America" by Griehl is good, but so is "Target America" by James P. Duffy. I have both, but neither contain information on any German disc craft or the Andromeda Gerat spaceship. The Silbervogel antipodal bomber was never built as well. But everything I listed above was. The Nazis tested human beings at simulated 134,000 ft which is above the SR-71s max of 124,000 ft!!! WHY would they do that testing and make spacesuits in 1942 forward if they did not go out in space? Raumjaeger should not exist in any documents.
Rob Arndt - November 22, 2016 - Report this comment
Patrick, to follow-up, the distance from France to NYC is roughly 4800 miles and if Hitler had taken the Azores, the trip is cut down to 2500 miles. Here is a listing of max range German bombers, seaplanes, and transports that could have been used and their status:

Ju-488, 2795 miles, under construction
He-274, 3602 miles, under construction
Bv-238, 4099 miles, prototype
He-277, 4968 miles, prototypes
Do-214, 5030 miles, project
Bv-222, 5589 miles, operational
Fw Ta 400, 5589 miles, project
Fw-300, 5590 miles, project
Ju-290, 7140 miles, operational
Ju-390, 7452 miles, operational
Ho XVIII, 7542 miles, under construction
Me-261, 8196 miles, prototypes
Me-264, 9315 miles, 2 built, destroyed
Junkers Long-range Bomber, 10,557 miles, project
Sanger Silverbird space plane, transatmospheric variable, project
German Haunebu and Vril disc craft, unlimited, prototypes (no ability to carry bombs)

Note: these are all max range versions
Rob Arndt - November 22, 2016 - Report this comment
Please note with above that added fuel tanks in the wings and fuselages plus aux. external tanks would enable a round-trip run. The Germans also planned to use aerial refuelling with the Ju-290 as tanker. The Bv-222 could be refuelled by U-boat at sea because it used diesel.

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