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Song Parodies -> "Son on Fire (from 'LOTR:OMG!')"

Original Song Title:

"Girl on Fire"

Original Performer:

Alicia Keys

Parody Song Title:

"Son on Fire (from 'LOTR:OMG!')"

Parody Written by:

Wendy Christopher

The Lyrics

I will confess, I hate the original song with a passion; rarely has a woman made such a loud, overwrought meal out of saying... not very much at all, when it comes right down to it. But that's just my opinion... So therefore some of the credit for me using this song should go to Ribber, since I never gave it a thought until he mentioned her singing it at Obama's inauguration knees-up in one of his parodies last week. And then I realised there was a part of the LOTR story I hadn't covered yet that this number would be just perfect for... ;^)

And here, for your listening pleasure/pain(delete as applicable), is the original song.

I’ve seen the future and it’s dire
All I’ve got is Faramir, pretty rubbish that’s clear
He’s never gonna set the world on fire
Always ‘the other son,’ isn’t even my favourite one

Ohhh, oh-oh oh-ohhh
In here we’ll never be found
Got this place on lockdown
Oh-oh oh-oh ohhh, oh-oh oh-ohhh
Put Faramir on the ground
And then kindling all round…

And set him on fi-re!
My son is on fi-re….
Great funeral py-re…
My son’s on that fi-re…!

Looks like the Steward’s gone insane
It’s wrong but I’ve left my post
Better follow where he goes
What’s he up to? He went in there with a flame…
What’s he trying to toast?
Pretty sure it aint marshmallows…

Ohhh no-oh oh-oh….
He’s gonna burn the joint down
Turn it crispy and brown!
Whoa-oh oh-oh nooo…. Oh-oh uh-oh…
Gandalf will be aghast
Better go get him fast…

He’s started a fi-re! (Fi-re, fi-re!)
Set his son on fi-re…
Bad way to re-tire… (fi-red, fi-red!)
Your son – on a py-re!

Clearly doesn’t care ‘cos he’s gone nuts
Look in palantirs you lose your guts
Things are looking dodgy, yes it’s true
But you can’t end this with a barbecue!
Let’s have that sword off you
BEREGOND: What did you do this for Dene-thor – no wait -

Don’t jump on that fi-re! (Fi-re, fi-re!)
GANDALF: Sau-ron is a li-ar!
BEREGOND: You’ll burn on that py-re! (Py-re, py-re!)
PIPPIN: Too late, he’s on fi-re…!

Oh-oh oh-oh noooo, look at him glow…. oh-oh oh-oh ohhh….now he’s really toast…
Whoa.. oh-oh oh-ohhh… cooking on slow… oh-oh oh-oh ohhh…. like a Sunday roast…
Oh-oh oh-oh ohhh…. oh-oh oh-nooooo… hu-man burr-i-to…. oh-oh-ohhh…
Oh-oh oh-oh ohhh… oh-oh oh-ohhh… bad way to go….ohhhh….

Steward got stewed upon that fi-re..!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - February 19, 2013 - Report this comment
Wendy - Denethor made a complete ash of himself. I can't thank you enough for this one. It's the first time since January that I can hear this without waves of pain ripping my skull. ;D
Matthias - February 19, 2013 - Report this comment
If you didn't want to parody this song a good replacement would be "Sex Is On Fire" by Kings of Leon. This is still a great parody even though you hate the OS
John Barry - February 19, 2013 - Report this comment
Keys was great early in her career. But that was then.
AFW - February 19, 2013 - Report this comment
Another good one...I guess LOTR stands for "Layin' On The Rhymes", right?
Rob Arndt - February 19, 2013 - Report this comment
Keep goin' Wendy- YOU'RE on fire- 555!!!
Lifeliver - March 04, 2013 - Report this comment
I never tire of watching John Noble's outstanding portrayal of this classically tragic Steward King. As I'm sure you know, in the book Denethor II was far more 'Noble' himself, a man of true Numenorian blood. But in both versions it was the palantir that was his undoing.
Did you know that Aragorn served his father, Denethor I, with great distinction, under the name 'Thorongil'? In the first movie, Boromir's death scene, the thoroughly perforated warrior is describing Minas Tirith (miraculously coughing up no blood) to Aragorn. His mild 'Yes, I have seen the White City' is marvellously understated, I think. I'm glad you picked out this scene, one of the more dramatic moments of ROTK, theatrically at least, ranking with Theoden's rousing pre-battle speech. 'Bring wood! And oil!' I anoint you with three fives.
Wendy Christopher - March 17, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks for all the lovely comments, everyone - sorry I'm late responding. Lots of that blimmin' Life messing up my parodying funtime recently.

@Matthias: That dull thudding sound you hear is me kicking myself ;^)

@John Barry: so true. She lost me at 'Empire State of Mind' - when you have a lyric as grammatically screwed as 'concrete jungle where dreams are made of' you know something's going a bit wrong. Or maybe that's just me...

@Lifeliver: Aragorn had a ton of different names, didn't he? I don't know how he knew who he was half the time. And I guess you get a tougher breed of Boromir when you get the guy who was Sharpe to play him ;^)

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