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Song Parodies -> "Health Food Store"

Original Song Title:

"Hardware Store"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Weird Al Yankovic

Parody Song Title:

"Health Food Store"

Parody Written by:

Tokusou Sentai Blessranger

The Lyrics

Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town
Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here
I thought I have proceeded to lose my mind
Until a friend told me the news
He said, "Hey! You know that vacant lot
Right beside my nearest pub? Well somebody bought it
And on that spot they're gonna build a shop
Where we can go buy organic foods
I would expect it fair and square (square)
I'll quickly brush my teeth and comb my hair
Although I hope my weight will hardly despair
I've been waiting since last June
For this day to finally arrive
I'll be happy (happy) now just to be alive
'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside
Well, I hope they open soon

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (health) food, I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (health) I'm goin' to the (health) oh yes I'm goin' to the health food store

In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight
Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out
I pressed my nose right up against the glass
You know, I had to be first in line
Gonna get me some chips of sweet taters
And I'll stuff 'em in the refrigerator of my house
See those Vegan burgers, very soon
One of them will be all mine
While lookin' 'round in there by myself
I was checking out the Vitamin B-12s
All these goodies that can't be bad to your health
I'm in for some organic treats
Someone else did a promotional stunt
There's a great big yellow sign out front
That says every 30th customer
Will get a Diet Snapple free

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (health) food, I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (health) I'm goin' to the (health) oh yes I'm goin' to the health food store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (health) food, I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (health) I'm goin' to the (health) oh yes I'm goin' to the health food store
Would you look at all that stuff

They've got flax crackers, raw cookies, tofu cakes, Tomberlies
Raw olives, cocoa nibs, and inca berries
Hyper omega jars, organic food bars
Jungle peanuts, Green Kamuts, Nature's Life, and Solgars
Chocolate sodas, cashews, yacon syrup, superfoods
Some Aura Cacia, as well as Megafood
Soybean coffee, pistachios, wheat breads and cacao
Tofurkey, not turkey, formulas from Jarrow
Four pets supplements, Centrum vitamins
Bio-K, Aubrey, Ethical Nutrients
Tonic herbs, daily teas, super spices, cottage cheese
Foods that are packed with lots of vitamin D
Colon cleansers, Vitamyrs, banana chips, garlic curds
Protein bars, jelly jars, yam rice, and ginger
You could hardly miss 'em, healthy foods, you can't diss 'em
And they don't even include such a thing like "Neutral System"

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (health) food, I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (health) I'm goin' to the (health) oh yes I'm goin' to the health food store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (health) food, I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (health) I'm goin' to the (health) oh yes I'm goin' to the health food store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (health) food, I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (health) I'm goin' to the (health) oh yes I'm goin' to the health food store

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   1
 1
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