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Song Parodies -> "Don't Buy Amy Grant"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Download This Song"

Original Performer:

Weird Al Yankovic

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Buy Amy Grant"

Parody Written by:

Edward Genereux

The Lyrics

Ever since I heard that in 2000, Amy Grant had divorced her husband in favour of Vince Gill, I have hated Grant for all her filth. Again, Twila Paris is MUCH better--and far more moral! I dream of doing this in a duet with Twila, and accordingly have included parts for her.
Stanza I--Edward.
Once long ago, I adored Miss Amy Grant,
As if she were always free from blame all day.
But I read in Rolling Stone that she was a fool,
Like Smitty, Sandi Patty, OCP or GIA,
And deep in my heart, I knew her husband she had dumped
In two thou, just so she could get Vince Gill!
Now she's singing "Simple Things", shooting herself in the foot
And tempting men, and taking their cash, killing them at will!

Refrain I.
So don't buy Amy Grant
Because her morals are so scant!
Go and buy POG like you know that you should,
Ah! don't buy Amy Grant!

Stanza II--Twila.
You can never mess with my good friend Sara Groves;
She'll kill you if you get that DVD
Showing Amy in her concerts or just in the studio;
When she sings "Baby, Baby," you'll be served by killler bees!

Refrain II.
So don't buy Amy Grant!
Don't buy "Heart in Motion;" you simply can't!
Go and buy Casting Crowns, like you know that you should!
Ah! don't buy Amy Grant!

Bridge.
Twila: Don't take away the credit from songwriters like me!
How else can I afford to buy Land Cruisers annually?
Edward: Or Big Ten Network football games! such things are never free!
Both: So all we ask is everybody, please...

Refrain III.
Don't buy Amy Grant! (No! no!)
Even Mike Irvin knows we can't! (Just ask him!)
Go and buy SCC like you know that you should; (You really should!)
Ah! don't buy Amy Grant!

Refrain IV.
Don't buy Amy Grant! (Ah! please! don't you do it!)
Or you might as well die by a loved one's hand! (Remember your family!)
Go and buy Nordeman (Right now!) like you know that you should! (Go out and buy it!)
Ah! don't buy Amy Grant!

Refrain V.
Don't buy Amy Grant,
Or your own food will end up bland! (And you deserve it!)
Go and buy Jason Grey (Just buy him!) like you know that you should! (You cheap halfwit!)
Ah! don't buy Amy Grant!
OCP stands for Oregon Catholic Press, but I don't know what GIA stands for.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 4   2
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 5   1
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Dylan Baranski - September 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Maybe I'll buy 555 AC/DC CDs instead.
Agrimorfee - October 01, 2007 - Report this comment
This has got to be the first contemporary Christian artist bashing parody I have ever read, and probably the last. :D
Brandon Reina - August 09, 2015 - Report this comment
Amy Grant fans are jealous of this song. Who in the world is Nordeman? I haven't heard of her. I like to listen to Amy Grant or buy her music as much as her duet with Nordeman (on iTunes). Amy Grant rocks! BUY AMY GRANT!
Edward Genereux - August 24, 2015 - Report this comment
Brandon Reina: Rest assured, I like Amy Grant nowadays. This is one of my early, poorly-written parodies that I have since disowned. Rest assured, I have nothing against Amy anymore.
John - August 24, 2015 - Report this comment
What's all this fuss about? Amy Grant was a successful Christian artist who decided to go do pop and failed miserably compared to the competition. She was fair game like everybody else.

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