You see me pushin' my walker
I know they're all thinkin' I'm so
Old and Cranky

Think I'm just too old and cranky
Think I'm just too old and cranky
Can't you see I'm old and cranky
Look at me I'm old and cranky

I wanna eat and get to bed early
So far they all think I'm too
Old and Cranky

Think I'm just too white and girly
Think I'm just too white and girly
I'm just too white and girly
Really, really white and girly

First in my class in '39.
Got skills, but don't use 'em cause I'm dying!
Jazz is the only music I like, Oh no!
I only drink coffee and tea
And mashed up food like spuds and peas
You'll find that I leave too small a tip
I better walk slow cause of my hip
What's that sonny? I can't read your lip!

My living room is totally spiced up
Got puece carpet that'll make you throw up
Yo, I know stuff about the past
Don't step too close, I got gas
I order all my sandwiches with sour krout
My pets all died cause I can't let em out
Once you've seen my coin collection
You'll see money like an infection

I fought back in World War II
America won, how'd you do?
I watch re-runs just for fun
Cause I can't remember a single one
Happy Days is my favorite theme song
I like panties, but what's a chick's thong?
I'll teach you some manners sonny
If you make sure my pants don't get runny

Here's the part I sing on...

You see me roll on my hoverround
I know in my heart they think I'm
Old and cranky

Think I'm just too white and girly
Think I'm just too white and girly
Can't you see I'm white and girly
Look at me I'm white and girly

I'd like to go play bingo
It's apparent I'm too
Old and cranky

Think I'm just too white and girly
Think I'm just too white and girly
I'm just too white and girly
How'd I get so white and girly

I been browsin', inspectin' my stamps
You know I collect them
I use the pot 24/7
When I dump, thank Heaven
I cough up old chunks of food
Read old porn before nudes
I think modern shows are too lude
Todays' language is way too rude

I retired 20 years ago
I could work at Wal-Mart, but thanks, no
I enjoy good bran, and enjoy my flan
Sittin' round like a lazy man
I sleep real early like I should
Unless those kids rock the hood
Don't understand all that crud
Bling, homies, and

I'm cranky in the extreme
Pastier, than sour cream
I was in Chess club and club
And even the Golf team
Only question I ever thought was tirin'
Was "Do I like wood or do I prefer iron ?"
Spend every weekend at the golf course

Got my name on my shirt. They see me strollin', they're laughin'
And rollin' their eyes cause I'm so
White and girly

Just because I'm white and girly
Just because I'm white and girly
All because I'm white and girly
Holy cow, I'm white and girly

I wanna lawn bowl with the seniors
It's so obvious I'm
White and girly

Think I'm just too white and girly
Think I'm just too white and girly
I'm just too white and girly
Look at me I'm white and girly