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Song Parodies -> "Sometimes You Can't Make It On The Bowl"

Original Song Title:

"Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

U2

Parody Song Title:

"Sometimes You Can't Make It On The Bowl"

Parody Written by:

Laurence Dunne

The Lyrics

Well, sometimes you can't....
Rough,
You shouldn't eat that stuff,
you hope to God, you'll make a stool,
that's hard enough

you might have to put up a fight
to squeeze to the left then the right
or push your hand under your backbone, to poop tonight

listen to me now,
I need you to go down
i can't just keep hanging around

it's too hard when you have constipation
it's too soft when you're fighting a cold
sometimes you can't make it on the bowl

you push,
with your abs,
and your face gets so red
when you force it out

I don't need, I don't need no toilet roll,
because this one was so hard, it left no marks at all!

listen to me now,
I need to see this through
I've read a whole G.Q.

and it's soft when im taking my ex-lax
and sometimes its the color of mold
sometimes you can't make it on the bowl

I need to exercise
it will make me fit
I must-push-to-get-rid-of-it......
it's the reason i'm late
it's the reason why promotion has to wait
well hey now, I have a date tonight
i'm supposed to be there at eight,
can't say my poop was late

and it's hard when i eat junk for dinner
and it's stuck when i don't pick up the phone
sometimes you can't force it,
best you can do, is to hold it
sometimes you can't make it on the bowl

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   9
 9
 9
 

User Comments

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AFW - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Good Job!
John Barry - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
The coprophobes must be on vacation.
Laurence Dunne - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
"Eat your peas or else" (love and peace or else) and "City of 'Nih' Knights" (City of blinding lights) are next
MrMacphisto - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
LMAO!!! awesome... I just hope you're spared aoid and his ilk...
Michael Pacholek - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
For a moment, I thought this was about the Rutgers football team. (see "Schiano Man") In 1992, they went 7-4, but lost a really dumb game to Boston College, whose quarterback Glenn Foley was from Rutgers territory (Cherry Hill H.S. East, in South Jersey). After the game, Foley said, "The only bowl Rutgers is going to is the one I just got off of." Foley spent 21 games in the NFL, mostly as a Jet backup, and RU hasn't had a winning season since.
Kristof Robertson - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
This was really very good, Laurence....I'm a sucker for a good poorody, and this is a smoth but chunky entry into the genre! 555

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