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Song Parodies -> "I Was Short Of Making Bail"

Original Song Title:

"A Sorta Fairytale"

Original Performer:

Tori Amos

Parody Song Title:

"I Was Short Of Making Bail"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

I had a "True-Life" experience tonight that inspired this parody. I was going to the local Supermarket for a loaf of bread about 8:30 tonight and got there just as a bungled robbery was taking place and the perpetrator's were racing out of the place with their eventual "take"; 2 or 3 Forty ounce bottles of cheap, domestic beer...Anyway, no shots were fired, I'm not even sure if a gun was involved, although one of the 40 oz. bottles of brewski was thrown to slow down some pursuing store clerks. Not knowing that when I heard a very loud "POP" and heard glass break I quickly ducked behind a car at that particular point. Anyway, no one was hurt, it appeared the idiots got away, but somebody did jump in a car and follow them, so perhaps they were caught later or will be picked up at some future point in time. Whatever...these guys really had to be's my parody, "HOT" off the presses, with apologies to Tori Amos for trampling on her beautiful song.
When I robbed that store
I guess the plan I had was
not very good
Now I am in deep doo-doo
And I knew that it would be
a "3rd strike" thing
'cause they caught me with a gun
guess it won't do me much good whining

And I'm so-oh sad
I have been booked
And I know I won't
get slack
And I'm short of raising bail
it's true
(I am short of raisin' bail, it's true)
Yes, I'm short of raising bail
(oh, woe is me)

Now I dread that day
in Courtroom 101
The cops found my gun
They've got me by the gonads
And I guess I am f*cked
and I will be convicted
And it seems I am screwed
I cannot deny it

This looks so-oh bad
I'm a dumb crook
My case really
looks black
And I'm short of raising bail
it's true
(yes, I'm short of raisin' bail, it's true)
Coming short on raising bail
I'm blue
(oh no, oh woe)

When I'm tried I won't slide
It won't help me to lie
to them
Yes, I know I won't slide
'Cause they caught me there
in that grocery store
There's no way I can slide
Caught me with the money
from the till
So I can now forget
This case will not be pled
No way to deal it

Things look real bad
They'll throw the book at me
and I will be back
In this really scary jail
I'm screwed
(wretched, nasty, scary jail, boo-hoo)
The door will slam
and I'll hear the clang of steel
(oh woe, oh no)

So in jail I will stay
and when I will get out
God only knows
A fool, yes I was
there is now no easy way out
I'll serve a lot of time here, for my stupid
crime and I won't
be free, until
I maybe get out someday on parole
who knows
So I'll do my time, there's no way
to fake it
feel better there
if I was stoned
I could use some smack here
that would get me tight, yeah
Sure wish I had
some "Gold"
sittin' in this cell
gets old
with guys I can't trust
my butt's the object of convict lust
(oh, no - oh, woe)

And I'm so-oh sad
I'm a dumb schnook
now things really
look black
yes, I will be stuck in jail
(years I'm gonna spend in jail, I'm screwed)
Now I will spend years in jail
that's screwed
(woe, oh - oh no)

Now I am frightened by
I'm very frightened by
these convicts
all the night
I am so scared; I'm freaked
Yes, I am frightened by
frightened all night by convicts
yes, by convicts - with big pr*cks
who will punk me
yes, they'll punk me
in the rear end
yes, they'll punk me
I said, "Ow"
(wow, ow!, oh, ow!)

Sure wish I had thought that day
what jail is like; put my gun away
while I still could, oh
way back when
I still had freedom; I was free
Prison's no place to be
should have known it, that's a fact
now I - I sure think it stinks
to end up here
in this jail

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   1
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

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Johnny D - November 11, 2004 - Report this comment are some awesome writer, dude, to crank THAT out on the spur of the moment! 5's
Paul Robinson - November 11, 2004 - Report this comment
I had a lot of adrenaline pushing me along, JD. Looking back I don't think that was a gunshot I heard, but it sure sounded like one at the time, especially with the broken glass sound right on top of it. I've always had this aversion to being anywhere near flying lead. I had been thinking about doing a "dumb crook" parody with this OS but had not gotten too far until last night. Apparently the episode supplied me with a little more clarity. Thanks!
Rick D - November 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Haven't we been telling you it's time to get out of LA?
Adagio - November 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Scary experience. Thank those theives for one thing, got a parody out of it. :) 5's
John Barry - November 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent deterrent to crime, Paul.
Paul Robinson - November 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick, What? and lose all these great parody ideas? Adagio, and with any help from my "lucky stars" those morons will be looking out through bars for most of the forseeable future. JB - If only the jamokes who do this kind of thing read parodies...or could read at all, for that matter. Thanks, all!
pickle - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
A difficult song to do, based on a real life event!
Paul Robinson - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, pickle!
Ashkicksass - November 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Don't know how I missed this before, but it's fabulous. And I LOVE the original. Glad to see you're safe and somewhat sound... ; )
Paul Robinson - November 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Ash...yeah, I really had to work on this one...lots of listens to the OS to check the pacing (and decide whether to include parody lyrics for her layered background vocals as well - decided to only do that where they did not overlap the lead vocal part - too confusing to writer AND reader to include the overlapped portions here). Fortunately, this OS has become one of my favorite songs to listen to...especially when driving on the Freeway any distance - it feels just perfect when you are rolling along unimpeded on the Highway at 65 mph (or perhaps even a wee tad faster in some areas)...As far as the "event" I witnessed it turned out the danger was more perceived than real, but I had no way of knowing that in the split-second instand and I sure wasn't going to run over and ask those jerks if that was a gun-shot or not that I heard.

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