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Song Parodies -> "Queers and Abortions"

Original Song Title:

"Beer for my Horses"

Original Performer:

Toby Keith and Willie Nelson

Parody Song Title:

"Queers and Abortions"

Parody Written by:

ProudAmerican

The Lyrics

Well, oh, man c'mon
I was watching FoxNews
Says some stores let men shop
If they sexual abuse
Osama blew up our buildings
Someone blew up their car
Some liberals like that way
Some liberals want them more far
Some liberals want them more far

Granpappy told my pappy back in my day, son
A man shouldn't have sex unless they want children
Take all the rope in Texas, find a tall oak tree
Hang up all of those liberals who look at child pornography
For all the people to see

God's justice is the one thing you should always find
You shouldn't show your balls to kids who are only nine
When the rapture comes and happens, we'll sing a victory tune
And it will all be Christian boys, not liberal gays
As they raise up they're glasses to the evil forces, singing
Gay porn for my men
Queers and abortions

We got too many homos doing dirty deeds
Dems want zoophillia and grime in our streets
It's time this country turned to God, and not the devil in the ground
Take them to our creator, and he'll put them all down
You can bet he'll put them down
God's justice is the one thing you should always find
You shouldn't show your balls to kids who are only nine
When the rapture comes and happens, we'll sing a victory tune
And it will all be Christian boys, not liberal gays
As they raise up they're glasses to the evil forces, singing
Gay porn for my men
Queers and abortions
Gay porn for my men
Queers and abortions

God's justice is the one thing you should always find
You shouldn't show your balls to kids who are only nine
When the rapture comes and happens, we'll sing a victory tune
And it will all be Christian boys, not liberal gays
As they raise up they're glasses to the evil forces, singing
Gay porn for my men
Queers and abortions
Singing gay porn for my men
Queers and abortions

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.4
How Funny: 2.2
Overall Rating: 2.2

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   6
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - December 12, 2006 - Report this comment
You were watching Fox News. Gee. There's a shock. In the words of a truly proud, and great, American, Keith Olbermann, "Why don't you just come out of the closet already! The bigot who calls himself 'Proud American' on Amiright: Today's Worst... Person... in the World!"
Jewbacca - December 12, 2006 - Report this comment
I can't believe there are people who still think this way in 2006/07.
Spaff.com - December 12, 2006 - Report this comment
For me, the Fox News line gives it away; these "ProudAmerican" pieces are not being written by an actual right-winger, but by someone presenting what they believe to be a right-wing POV. Even if that's not the case, these pieces still have zero value. "My side is correct and your side sucks" is a political ideology that intelligent people move beyond by about age 10.
Spaff.com - December 12, 2006 - Report this comment
The comments from "Christian Sally" agreeing with "ProudAmerican" are obvious fakes as well. There are countless websites where partisans can scream at those on the other end of the political spectrum. Please, you creeps, go to one of those.
Chris Pollman - December 12, 2006 - Report this comment
I agree with all the comments here, but really, I'm just commenting so I can hereby personally award you the Assclown Of the Year award. The end.
Christian Sally - December 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Your devotion is very moving, Proud American. I can see you march across mountains and valleys carrying our flag all across this fair land of ours, God's land, with me by your side. Pay no attention to these heathen critics, for as Christ said, "they knoweth not what they do."
Mr 1s - December 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Is this the return of George Hamlinton IV?
Michael Pacholek - December 12, 2006 - Report this comment
What's the deal with Sally's "mountains" and "valleys" talk? Someone might think that's a little R-rated. And "our flag" again. Would that be the Confederate flag?
Chris Pollman - December 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Yes, Michael, that probably is the flag Sally is referring to. Either than or some kind of swatstika/KKK banner maybe?
Immoral Liberal - December 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Wrap yourself in the flag and god and you can do anything - that's the rightwing fascist motto. Actually, I hope there is a god because there's going to be a lot surprised people in the afterlife. Sally's god is pro-war, all-American, anti-gay, pro-gun, pro-Bush, anti-Clinton, anti-Kennedy, and anti anyone who is not a Christian - Sally made god in her own image. If she's right, hell is looking pretty good. Oh, I'm sorry, this country has been in hell since the (s)election. Happy Kwanza Sally.
Susanna Viljanen - December 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Mr 1s, nah. Georgie-boy was _sane_. He was simply a poor parodist. This guy is a kook.

A parody idea: "Proud American" for David Bowie's "Young Americans", anyone? I'm not qualified to do it since I'm not American and instead of parody it would turn out an insult.
Immoral Liberal - December 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Susanna - I thought of that (as I'm sure many others did - MP also perhaps?). Personally, I'm not big on writing person type parodies. But this one does kind of write itself - "All night" gets subbed with "Far Right" - and the references to the lord, un-American, Nixon, Washington (DC), freak, afro, blacks, etc. make it even more of a natural. Perhaps it is worthy of an inside joke for the site. What about a group effort - we could take submissions for different verses, writers could comment on the verses so that it could be edited into the perfect parody and then submitted as a group effort under the title "Anti-ProudAmerican" or "Un-American"
Grimley Fieendish - December 31, 2006 - Report this comment
When "The Rapture" actually happens, Proud American & Christian Sally will probably find themselves (well parts of themselves anyway) on sale at a Alien Department' Store's perfume counter, in (glass ?) bottles as "Essence Of Gulliable Human".... (This scenario was part of the British Science Fiction T.V Show, Quatermass (A/K/A The Quatermass Conclusion) , in "Rapture-ish" type events claim the lives of tens of millions around the world. The "Left Behind" realise with horror, that Humanity's being "Harvested" by unknown & uncaring aliens, as a indegrediant for the alien equivalent of perfume ....)

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