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Song Parodies -> "I'm On The Pill"

Original Song Title:

"I'm On A Boat"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Lonely Island

Parody Song Title:

"I'm On The Pill"

Parody Written by:

EmiLoca

The Lyrics

Original song here.
I'm on the pill! (I’m on the pill)
I’m on the pill! (I’m on the pill)
I’m infertile, look at me, I’m inhaling all the pills (inhaling all the pills)
I’m on the pill! (I’m on the pill)
I’m on the pill!
Baby you’re in luck cause I’m munching on the pill

I'm on the pill, not a mother, take a look at me
Slight bloating, but it’s no hysterectomy
Cost me five bucks, Planned Parenthood for real
You can't knock me up, you sucker, cause I’m on the pill

Save the lecture, chick
I’m on the pill, trick
I’m popping four weekly packs
Like a coke fix (fix)
Don’t want no dome sponge
Or those femmi-cappies
They make me nervous, my libido’s gone
So unhappy

IUD’s got me barfing
Can’t do abstinence
My condom wrappers
Breakin’ cause they’re twenty five cents
So punch my V-card
I’ve researched all the risks
I'm on the pill, doctors check me for ovarian cysts

I'm on the pill and
My babies are planned
Put my prescription of Depo
In the trash can
You can keep all the foam
And your hormone needles
And keep your pants on
If you’re gon-orr-heal

Got plans, I’m on the pill, not a mother (not a mother)
Got needs, but there’s safety under covers (under covers)
Got self-respect, it’s my choice, not another’s (yeah)
I use pills and use toys with my lovers

Take one before I leave right now (leave right now)
Two standbys when they don’t pull out (don’t pull out)
Gotta be prepared for those off-chance plows (off-chance plows)
But if I forget -
TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL...

Yeah, never thought I'd be on the pill (lets go)
It won’t break, leak, wear off or spill
(Sperm)icidals?
Not for me, oh

Never have to menstruate
With my pills, no tampons for days
Believe me when I say
I use no douche bags!

I’m on the pill! (I’m on the pill)
I’m on the pill! (I’m on the pill)
I’m infertile, look at me, I’m inhaling all the pills
I’m on the pill!
I’m on the pill!
Baby you’re in luck cause I’m munching on the pill
Recording coming soon. :-)

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Leo Keough - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Emi's all grown up, as this song testifies!!!...Great job on this!!!...555!!!
Tommy, The Fertile Turtle - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Why can't I find these women who "can't do abstinence"? :)

Didn't think you were supposed to inhale them -- just exactly which pill are we talking about here? ... for the serious record, some think it's better to use the older variety that allowed you to cycle normally, tampons and all. Talk to your doctor... something unnatural about suppressing a normal function.

OK, enough serious -- glad to see that you progesterone health, so I'll be estro-generous with the vote. This song was an easy pill to swallow. Take one Five every day for three weeks, then take a week off.

TJC - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
The Provera'erbially Perfect Parody (even the morning after)! Too funny re too many choices... and LOL TT's first paragraph!
DJ Blaze - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Be careful with this stuff, Emi.... LOL!!! 555
Christie Marie M - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Funny you should mention, Emi, but my friend was studying about birth control pills in one of his pharmacy classes and how to compute dosages of them. In my opinion, I think birth control pills are more effective than patches. I also think that patches look very flimsy that it might not prevent pregnancy. Anyways, 555 tablets ought to protect you for awhile!
Matthias - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Still in shock that you parodied this song! Hahaha, Brilliant work here Emiloca! With an intresting topic to boot!
EmiLoca - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks to everyone for the feedback!

Tommy, I have no way of defending myself without revealing what a prude I am. :-D So I'll just say that I've never had any of the experiences detailed in the parody, and I doubt that it's 100% accurate anyway. Don't worry, I'm not snorting lines of Yaz. Thanks for the concern, anyway.
Matthias - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Awesome recording by the way, I just heard it today! Bravo!
EmiLoca - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
"...I'll just say that I've never had any of the experiences detailed in the parody..."

That's... that's not what I meant.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
I don't think an embryo is classified as an allergen, Emily. You're taking the wrong pill.
Velvet Jones - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Say girl, you writes pretty good for a ho.
Tommy Turtle - September 25, 2009 - Report this comment
But everyone thinks I boff sheep, just 'cuz I've written only about 12 or 13 parodies on the topic... looks like we're in the same boat! :D

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